Don’t be so sensitive. Some people are full of shit and need to be called on it, and in such a case, often cave at the slightest challenge. They’re just conversational fillers.
Wow…hypersensitivity at its best. Does this cause problems for you in your daily life? I’m not saying that to be a jerk, I’m honestly wondering how you maintain relationships with people when innocuous statements like “Really?” cause such ire. These are simple, non-confrontational statements made by 90% of the English speaking world on a daily basis.
People aren’t calling you a liar or stupid or something. What do you expect people to say when you tell them something they didn’t know already? “Thank you for that information…I’ll file it in my databank?”
Also, the ‘how do you know’ thing, is of course entirely dependent on tone of voice. If the person is a jerk about it, yeah, it’s rude. If they are seriously just trying to learn the background information that led you to your conclusion, so they can be more informed about the subject at hand…I think it’s a perfectly natural, non-offensive reaction.
It took more than a handful of years for me to realize that when my wife asked me “Why?”, nine out of ten times she meant “Why?”, and not “Why did you do that, dumbass?”
Venus is easy to see in a big city, even when it’s still light out. (But nearing dusk.) Even Jupiter, to a lesser extent. And once you’ve seen the 4 brightest planets, it’s pretty easy to distinguish them.
The “are you sure?” bugs me more than any other.
Want something to drink ?
Are you sure ?
No, I’m not … Why don’t you ask me one more time.
I subscribe to this. Especially when I get it both ways. First it’s “Oh, you’re so smart! You know so much! You should go on Jeopardy!” and ten seconds later, it’s “OMG how did you know that! I can’t believe you know that!” Well, I know it because I’m smart, remember? Like you just told me ten seconds ago?
I’m with Jman on this.
Anytime you’re reading so much into a simple conversational response, something’s not right. And I’d wager it’s pure projection, of your own insecurities. Your ire is out of all proportion to the ‘offense’. It feels like that should be self evident. Perhaps the universe is showing you something you should examine more closely.
“Really?”, “How do you know that?”, and, “Are you sure?”, are not personal attacks, in any way, shape or form. Maybe you should be examining why they feel so, to you?
So when is it acceptable to use those phrases according to the OP? If someone says “I just saw a UFO” and gets the response “Are you sure?” is that unacceptable? The acceptable or unacceptable nature of of these phrases, or pretty much any other largely neutral phrases, depends entirely on the context.
I’m particularly a fan of “Oh really?” When I use it, it’s not a matter of questioning whether the person I’m saying it to is telling the truth, it’s more an expression that my interest has been piqued. For instance, imagine this exchange. “I just heard the funniest joke!” “Oh really?” In that exchange, it doesn’t mean “I think you’re full of crap” it means “I’m interested, tell it to me.”
Either way, like others said, generally hating those phrases is, to me, a sign of over-sensitivity on the part of the OP. Just pay attention to the context and realize the person is probably just saying something to spur the conversation on. Like saying “How do you know that?” doesn’t mean “Prove it!” it means “Please explain” in more cases than not, in my experience.
Anytime you’re reading so much into a simple forum post, something’s not right. And I’d wager it’s pure projection, of your own insecurities.
I can understand the use of social filler on an occasional basis. But when you’re using it over, and over, and over, and I’m expressing my exasperation by giving you terse replies, it’s time to drop it. It’s doesn’t help when I’m already finding your complete lack of intelligence annoying. Asking me “oh really” after each and every single one of my fucking *edifying *statements doesn’t help.
This thread is a rant against one person’s use of the aforementioned social fillers rather than a railing against the general use of social fillers.
“How do you know?”
Now, if you really think about it, that is a very complex question.
And, I have pointed that out to several of my friends when they posit that query.
Yes… I have fewer friends, now. But danggit, the ones that are left are, um…, seasoned.
Yes, that’s it.
You do realize that there are social groups in which it is the norm to refuse on first offer because it’s considered rude to say “yes” the first time. In India, for example, any such offer must be refused twice. If you then don’t make the third offer to make sure, you’re being rude.
In Iran, a host is never supposed to stop offering, for the length of your visit. And then if you say “yes,” they are supposed to offer you more.
Epistemological slant :eek:.
Are you sure? The op doesn’t really read that way.
The OP is rather vague. It doesn’t specify whether I was condemning the general use of fillers or one person’s use.
As long as you don’t have any, say, anger issues, it’s clearly not you, and must be everyone else!
And yeah, the Op didn’t read like it was directed at a sole individual. Don’t you hate it when people don’t make themselves clear, say what they really mean?
Are you sure?
Where’s the Big Boss?
I don’t know.
Well, where is she?
I have a friend I’ve known since college who doesn’t understand why I laugh when he says some kind of surprising things.
I laugh, in recognition that they are absurd or odd. Not, as I think he thinks, because I don’t believe him.
He gets a little worked-up over it too… Very annoying!
What bugs me is
ME: I THINK that…
Wifey: Are you sure?
ME: No I’m not, that’s why I said “I think” - do you understand the words that I am saying.
Alternative: Yes, I’m sure I think that
Anyone know how the planets thread got mixed up with this one?
I do something similar that drives my wife insane.
Her:So then my friend said her boyfriend permanently cured his high blood pressure by eating nothing but squid for a day.
Me:I’ve never heard of that, it doesn’t sound like it could actually work.
Her:Are you calling her a liar? Or are you calling me a liar?
Me:I’m not calling either of you liars I’m doubting the facts presented.
It drives her nuts!