Full disclosure - I was screwed by Jet Blue last Thursday, spending eight hours at JFK waiting for my flight to take off. But I was fortunate in one way; I wasn’t one of the poor bastards stuck sitting in the plane on the tarmac for hours.
Which leads me to my rant. Jet Blue has announced that it will, retroactive to last Thursday and going forward, give credits to passengers who suffer from significant delays. It will be on a sliding scale, depending on the type and length of delay (if I’m reading it right, it means I’m getting a free round-trip flight from them). For the most part, the self-imposed penalties seem relatively reasonable.
Except in one area - departing flights that push back from the gate and are stuck on the tarmac.
Jet Blue’s new policy will be as follows:
[ul]
[li]If you are on a departing plane that sits on the tarmac for more than three hours, you will get $100 off a future flight;[/li][li]If you are on a departing plane that sits on the tarmac for more than five hours, you will get a future round trip flight, and the plane will return to the gate[/li][/ul]
That’s right, folks, you are now guaranteed by Jet Blue that you will only be held against your will on an uncomfortable, claustrophobic, airless plane - in which you are forbidden to stand up - five fucking hours.
Jesus Christ, Jet Blue! Do you have any idea how amazingly awful and painful being forced to sit for five hours in one of your seats is?! How about a time limit that comes within eyesight of human decency, like two hours. A five hour maximum is not a solution; it is just a time limit on torture.
I once sat on a plane (US Scareways, I believe) for three hours. I was this close —><— to committing a homocide. Justifiable, of course. It would have been the “Anyone who dared to look at him funny deserved it” defense.
How is sitting in the plane on the tarmac for five hours any more uncomfortable than sitting in the plane while it’s the air, for five hours?
I realize it’s probably frustrating, knowing that you’re not getting anywhere - but I don’t see how it could be any more painful than flying from New York to LA, or something.
Are you kidding? The higher up you are the less gravity there is pushing you into your seat!
Really, when you’re flying you at least have the reassurance that you’re getting somewhere. That and you can leave your seat, look out at the landscape, check out the stewardesses, etc. And when I’m actually flying, the bouncing of the plane and the sound of the engines allows me to sleep comfortably. I could never sleep on a plane just sitting on the tarmac.
Often the air is off when sitting on the tarmac, making it a very hot and stuffy experience. Of course, you can cool off with a beverage, right? Wrong. No beverage service.
That, and when the plane is on the ground, the landing gear pushes up on the bulkhead, misshaping it, and causing the arms of the chairs to squeeze in together, making the seats smaller and more uncomfortable.
Once I saw some travel show where young people went a travellin’ and interviewed various people. I remember a segment where they interviewed the CEO of JetBlue…I was actually taken aback at how utterly unremarkable he was. He must be some kind of idiot savant, because since the interview didn’t go into airline-specific stuff, he came off as, well, an idiot. Seriously, the guy has a learning disability, ADD and I think he flunked out of college or something, yet from an early age, he’s been a top-level airline executive.
How much discretion does an airline have with respect to whether or not a plane can return to the gate? I’ve sat on the runway for over 2 hours and it totally sucks, but if it’s bad weather, then the planes are queued for de-icing and the plane CAN’T get out of line. That said, I can’t imagine how wretched it was on that plane.
Not to mention that when the plane takes off eventually, you’ll have to add the amount of time you were expecting to be on it (your original five hours) to the five hours you spent on the tarmac. In other words, five hours on the tarmac is worse because it’s in addition to the actual flight.
Well, for one, I think if you’re on the ground you must have your seatbelts fastened and your seats upright. I think you would also be precluded from using any electronic equipment (but maybe they waived that rule during the wait, I am not sure).
As opposed to being airborne when you can (though not advised) remove your seatbelt and/or recline your seat somewhat.
Also, while the plane is in flight, you can get something to drink and a small snack, but not while it’s on the ground. And they also don’t run the climate control, because it requires the engines to be running and using fuel.
So when you end up with a three to five hour wait before take-off, do the people in charge of the plane know how long it will be, or is it more a case of, “Well, they said we’d be going any minute now…,” and they keep the [del]cattle[/del] passengers locked up for the duration because they need to go at a moment’s notice? If they know it’s going to be three to five hours and they just keep everyone on instead of kicking you off and then re-loading, that’s just cruel and inhumane.
Are you crazy Joe? Why would you need to have your seatbelt on when you’re on the ground? Why no electronic devices? At first I thought you were joking but the rest of your post after the first paragraph seemed serious so I’m not sure.
Is this a big old JetBlue aeroplane Whooooooooooooooooosh!
If I understand the OP correctly, I’d be pitting something else. Is it that the three-hour people get to go where they’re going plus a future discount, while the five-hour people get driven back to the gate where they must cash in their freebie to go where they originally were heading?
Probably the same reason driving for an hour is not nearly as frustrating as sitting immobile for an hour in your car, staring at a neverending line of brake lights leading to some unseen accident on the highway ahead.
And even that is preferable in many ways—in your car you’re (usually) not surrounded by dozens of other annoyed, coughing, wheezing, farting morons and their wailing kids, sucking the same foul air and dreaming of suicide’s sweet relief. In your car you could jump out, à la Michael Douglas in Falling Down, abandon your car, and set off on foot. It’s not recommended, but you at least have that liberty. Try that in a plane and see how far you get!
Forget waterboarding, forget the “pain ray”—if we really want to force terror suspects to talk, we should put them all in a tarmac-bound plane and let them sit. In a few hours they’ll be babbling volumes just to get out.
)
Why would you need to have your seatbelt on when you’re on the ground? Why no electronic devices? At first I thought you were joking but the rest of your post after the first paragraph seemed serious so I’m not sure.