OK, folks, the "trash room" is not so named b/c you should TRASH IT!

Please forgive me, it’s my first “rant”.

I live in a small apartment building with about 10 other apartments in the building. I assume that most apartment buildings in urban areas have a small “trash room” on the first floor- serving as a repository for trash bags that the super will transport to some dumpster within another worldly dimension on the frequency of one morning visit per day. Perhaps the weekend would garner one visit, but it’s very commonly emptied. I’ve lived in the same building for about 7 years now and I have never had a problem with the super. Therefore, I don’t blame him.

What I have not been afforded is the luxury of having the same considerate apartment-neighbors for 7 years. Lately, new crops of youngsters, cramming themselves 3-per to an apartment have been turning up. Now, I’m no prejudiced old woman, in fact a spring chicken myself, but at least I know enough of the world to refrain from shitting where I eat. For the others, not so. Ohhh ho ho ho not so.

Lately, every time I open the door to the trash room, I’m assaulted by some new, godless sight. People tossing poorly-closed bags haphazardly into the center of the room, completely IGNORING the conveniently-lined trash containers that ring the perimeter of the space. Often, ALL TRASH BINS ARE EMPTY, but the FLOOR is covered in shit. And not even CLOSED shit- OPEN shit. I can SEE the remains of others’ dinners. And then, once these piles materialize upon the floor, it’s impossible to reach the containers for the BAGS JUST INSIDE THE DOOR, so everyone begins to do the same. Who is going to climb over a torn Mt. Everest of food in order to throw theirs away? Therefore, once begun, the circle is not complete until one cannot even OPEN the door because of all the trash piled in front of it.

Now, this is the city, and it’s summer, and it’s starting to get HOT. I just noticed the First Mouse Ever in my apartment, and the first bugs I’ve ever seen crawling around the trash room. I have never, I say never, I SAY NEVER (foghorn leghorn, anyone?) been SO tempted to write a passive-aggressive note to my buildingmates, warning them of the oncoming BIBLICAL PLAGUE OF VERMIN, as utterly predictable and unsurprising as the venereal diseases on their mothers’ cuntlips, that will ensue if this trend is to continue. I am not one for passive-aggressivity, however, and I imagine the note would be ignored, because these are obviously not the types to heed the sharpie call of common decency, however loudly and forcefully I would capitalize my letters and underline my words. Hence, I find myself fuming at loose ends.

This is a nice part of town. We don’t get a lot of riff-raff. My boyfriend and I pay a lot for our space, and we’d like to keep it nice. We seem to be in the minority, however. We’re not ready to move, but I’m beginning to sharpen my knives. If we wind up with roaches because these jackasses can’t take the extra 10 seconds to hurl their trash into a bin instead of all over the floor, oh, there will be blood, there will be no end of blood, and the elevator from the Shining will blush in shame at how inadequate it suddenly seems (or would blush, that is, if it had any blood left inside of it)!

OK, I’m done.


Perhaps you should host some sort of a gourmet night.

[sub]“Duck’s off, sorry.”[/sub]

Perhaps a letter to the super or the building management pointing out the problem and the potential future costs of vermin removal would have an effect.


I will also point out that when people produce food wastage, they also often throw out things like junk mail. Junk mail is usually addressed to someone.

If it’s getting to the point where there are pests (rodents, insects), definitely point it out to the management.

Humans can be such pigs sometimes, really. It’s disheartening.

I am lucky our trash room is not like that. I have a woman in my building who feeds the pidgeons though. I believe it is against New York City law to feed the pidgeons (thought I might have just made that up in my own head because of the angry) but it doesn’t stop her. They carry disease. They shit on everything. They coo in the early hours of the morning. They do not belong in our courtyard, but every day she is out there with some bread for the birds. One of my neighbors went outside with a sandwich one day and had to turn around and run back inside because of the hundreds of pidgeons that rushed her in anticipation of food. Stupid bitch! This is not Mary Poppins, you are not a homeless woman trying to earn money to eat, stop feeding the birds or I will start taking them out with a bb gun through my window and leaving their bird carcasses for you to deal with!

Pigeons are like mice with wings. Real mice with wings would have the same level of offensiveness- blechhh. We have pigeons but hardly a swarm of something out of Alfred Hitchcock.

And I can’t say I haven’t thought about rifling through to see who it is, and then peeing under their door during the night, but I feel like that would NOT solve the bug problem…

The sucky thing about communal living is that you’re at the mercy of the most disgusting tenant in the building.

We have the same issues in our trash room. The apartment house is a big building containing 48 units, all of them at least big enough for a small family.

Besides often being too lazy to actually open the chute and throw their bags in, they leave food in the trash room. Food, as in disposable baking dishes half- or two-thirds full of leftovers, as if they think somebody will accept it eagerly, and take it away. Or half-eaten servings of cut-up fresh fruit.

In the parking garage, where the management seems unable to keep a trash receptacle at the lobby door, people just throw trash on the ground where the receptacle used to be. Although slovenly and disgusting, one can sort of understand why people do it. What I don’t understand is seeing things like (formerly) frozen entrees left there. Why on Earth would someone have an empty Lean Cuisine box in their car in the first place? Or do some SUVs and vans now have microwave ovens?

I remember similar issues when I lived in a building with a trash room. Even when people could get the trash in the cans, the room still smelled awful, especially in the summer. Sure, taking trash outside to a Dumpster is a pain in the butt, but sometimes I think it’s preferable. At least your building doesn’t smell bad and attract pests.

Definitely call management and tell them about the problem and that you need an exterminator. It’s their job to write the nastygrams.

Not sure what will solve the problem, other than moving into a house, which is what I eventually did.

Find a nice nesting spot high up on the building, and entice a red-tailed hawk or similar bird of prey to live their. They will be happy to reduce the pigeon population, and it can be entertaining & awe-inspiring to watch them do so.