OK, how the hell do I get that onion smell off my hands?

Factual Questions
1

I love onions as much as the next guy who loves onions, but I hate preparing them and getting that smell on my hands. It doesn’t go away! I’ve tried every remedy the internet has to offer.
Lemon juice? Big fat no.
Stainless steel? Nope.
Salt? No sir.
Toothpaste? Well, I just tried. All I can smell is minty freshness, but if that wears off and the onion is still there, I am going to be damn pissed.

So dopers, what has worked for you? Hmm? PLEASE? I can’t stand another day like this!

2

I was going to suggest the stainless steel, but since you tried that already: how about gloves? You can get cheap displosable ones for very little money.

3

Wash your hands with toothpaste, then regular soap to keep them from smelling like toothpaste (unless you like that… mmm… minty fresh hands…).

4

Try soaking your hands in water with baking soda mixed in. Baking soda softens skin and removes odors, so it might just be the ticket.

5

Kerosene. But then you have a new smell to deal with…

Actually, I’m surprised the lemon juice didn’t work. I’ve never noticed a problem after I cut onions…maybe if you cut the onion under water? It’s supposed to keep you from crying, so maybe it’ll keep your hands from smelling like onion…

6

What works the best, from what I hear, is hiring a butler (preferrably named Jeeves) and a cook (Martha or Rosa.)

7

Use a food processor.

8

Used coffee grounds work for me to remove garlic, onion etc. smells.

9

Rinse your hands with lemon juice

10

I heard that stainless steel works. How about salt?

11

Cut off your hands.

12

Well, the toothpaste seems to have worked. I also used Listerine with it, as I heard it can sometimes help.

On a side note, how exactly does stainless steel get rid of that smell? I can understand how the food-stuffs and the toothpaste do it, because they are liquidy and akin to soap. But how on Earth does stainless steel remove the smell (not that it did for me, but it apparantly does for some)?

13

Put a little cooking oil on your hands. Rub it in and then wash your hands.Make sure you get the oil and soap under your fingernails.