OK, I admit I am lazy, disorganized, and hate saving money---can you just ring me up?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

No, I do not want to open a Kohl’s charge account today, and save 10, 20 or 30% on my purchases.

I like using just one credit card. I get points on it. I can use it anywhere. I dont need a second credit card from your store complicating my life, and I get so much mail, I’m afraid I will miss the bill. And forget to pay it. And pay a huge finance charge. Which will wipe out the $4.56 I would be saving by staying an extra 2 minutes filling out a credit application.

No, thank you, I do not want to get a Staples rewards Card.

I’ll never keep track of it. Sure, give me the application, SUUUURE I’ll fill it out online. I’m never ever going to buy enough from your store to earn anything anyway. Oh great, I get to carry ANOTHER card in my wallet? And your company keeps track of my purchases on a computer, right? Oh, good, there’s not enough people spying on my personal life.

Thanks for the offer, but I don’t collect Subway stamps.

Let’s see, I have to collect what, 10 of these, in order to get what a free soda? Chips? Maybe if I’m lucky, a sub?

Look, a combo meal is only $6.00 here. I have the 6 bucks. I’m going to lose the punch card the next time I clean out my wallet anyway. I go to Subway like once a week, and rarely visit the same one twice in one month. No, no stamps for me thank you.

Please, please, PLEASE . . . I am exhausted. I just want to get home. Please ring up my order. Nothing personal, I understand you are just a cashier, and you are under orders to push these things on me. Its actually nothing against your company. Somehow, in the long run, a marketing/accounting genius at your company headquarters has figured out in a zero-sum world, you’ll end up making money off me through these promotions.

It’s just almost EVERY chain store I go to, FYE, Staples, Barnes & Noble, Office Depot, Kohl’s etc etc I have to feel pressured to to sign up for one of your many many credit cards, “clubs”, rewards programs, whatever.

It’s really uncomfortable. And I really dont like arguing with the pushier casheiers who really try to hardsell me. Look, I just want to buy my shit, and go home, if thats ok.

I realize there are super-organzized, money smart people with lots of free time to save and organize these things, and they get a thrill out of saving a dollar here and there. And yes, it adds up over time. I admire those people and their frugality, and their adeptness at working the system.

I work 70-80 hours a week. I’m exhausted as it is when I come home, and frankly, the last thing I feel like doing with my valuable free time is sitting on the phone arguing with your credit department about the check I mailed for the $92 worth of shoes and pants I bought at your store that I used the store credit card to pay with, and now you are hitting me up for a $30 finance fee because “allegedly” I mailed my check late.

Please, pretty please with sugar on top, just ring me up, and let me go home.

2

Dude! You threaten to kick innocent peoples’ asses in parking lots because someone put a piece of paper on your truck. Just say “Sorry, I know it’s your job to offer, but I’m really not interested.” You don’t even have to be rude. You can be friendly and smile when you say this. If they try to argue, put your hand up to stop them and say, in a firm voice, “I don’t want to be rude, but I’m NOT INTERESTED!” I have rarely gotten to stage two with anyone, and never had to go further than stage two on those rare occasions when it went that far.

3

“Not today, thank you.” If they continue: “Not today, thank you.” It’s not a big deal.

4

Well duh. That’s what they’re hoping for.

5

Maybe “argue” is not the right word. I have been verbally put into the position of explaining to some customer service reps the exact reason WHY I don’t want to sign up for the program, and have remained polite (the ones who are underpaid and skilled salespeople taught how to get to the “objection”). But it gets really annoying sometimes.

Just give me the best product at the best price. Don’t complicate my life.

6

Yeah, I’m tired of the loyalty programs, too. I tend to look at the clerk and say that I buy most stuff online, as I find it hard to get around. Since I limp and use a stick to move around, it’s easy to convince people of this.

If I’m paying cash, and I’m asked for my zip code or telephone number, I’ll just say “I don’t want to give it out”, and if pressed, say 99999 or 999-999-9999. Most cashiers really don’t care if I give the correct info, they just want something, anything, to enter into the field.

7

No discount for you? Then how about a warranty for your cheap electronic goods? And don’t forget your nine yards of ticker tape advertising that comes with your receipt when you check out. And good luck navigating your way to the exit past the in store banker who wants you open a checking account, and past the in store photographer passing out coupons, and get ready to wave buh bye to the greeter.

8

Really? I’m not gonna give them my phone number, but I don’t have a problem telling them my zip code. What do I care?

9

"Mr. X lives in ZIP code 02138 and was born July 31, 1945.

These facts about him were included in an anonymized medical record released to the public. Sounds like Mr. X is pretty anonymous, right?

Not if you’re Latanya Sweeney, a Carnegie Mellon University computer science professor who showed in 1997 that this information was enough to pin down Mr. X’s more familiar identity – William Weld, the governor of Massachusetts throughout the 1990s.

Gender, ZIP code, and birth date feel anonymous, but Prof. Sweeney was able to identify Governor Weld through them for two reasons. First, each of these facts about an individual (or other kinds of facts we might not usually think of as identifying) independently narrows down the population, so much so that the combination of (gender, ZIP code, birthdate) was unique for about 87% of the U.S. population. If you live in the United States, there’s an 87% chance that you don’t share all three of these attributes with any other U.S. resident." from

Yikes.

10

Why do THEY care?

I think the basics of a consumer transaction have been forgotten by a lot of vendors. Here’s how it works: I pay you money. You give me product / service.

Where I live and my phone number don’t have much to do with this, particularly if it’s a not a huge-ticket item, and I’m paying cash.

11

St Anger, when the ticket was read.

St Anger, when the coupons came out.

Who knew?

12

Okay, some of these things kind of annoy me, too. To be fair, I think we’d be a lot less harsh on this OP if not for the last one.

13

While it’s possible that THEY could identify me by my zip code, it’s more the principal of the thing. I want to discourage companies from collecting data about me. It starts with the zip code, goes on to collecting phone numbers, and next thing, they’re gonna want a blood sample! If I pay with a check or credit or debit card, then yes, they’re entitled to see some ID and ask some questions of me. I am, after all, effectively asking them to trust me, that I’m good for the amount of the merchandise. But if I pay cash, then I don’t want to participate in their marketing strategy. And most cashiers are OK with me refusing to give out the info, as long as I’m polite about it.

14

I always tell cashiers I’m moving out of the country soon, and they drop the subject.

15

Why do you feel a need to explain the “exact reason” you don’t want to sign up? I’ve always found that a simple no, or “I’m not interested” is all that’s needed. I’ve never gotten a hard sell from a sales clerk on any of these things.

16

The phrase you’re looking for is “No, thanks.” Utter it twice, then say “Look, just process my order, please.” They’re not entitled to explain why you don’t want one more piece of plastic or paper crap in your wallet.

But OTOH, neither should you expect them to know you’re not interested. Some people are. I’ll take all your Subway stamps, thanks.

17

“I’m just visiting” also works well. Few cashiers want to waste their time or yours signing you up for something you’re not going to use, especially if you can get a significant discount for doing so, since that costs the store money.

18

They can get pretty persistent, can’t they? I’m almost at the point where B&N will lose my business completely. I buy a large percentage of my books online, but I do enjoy wandering the aisles at a bookstore.

B&N is nearby, has nice music, smells like coffee (mmmm!) and has a nice selection of books and magazines.

That said, the hassle at the register to join their program gets progressively more irksome.
It costs $30 a year. I am polite in declining, but some of the clerks really ramp up the hard sell and get borderline snotty, all but saying out loud “it must be nice to be able to throw money away.” I’m tired of it. All of my other discount club memberships are free, except for Costco. It you want to reward me for spending money on books and music, reward me. Don’t charge me to get the reward!

I have no problem paying for a Costco membership, because I spend much more there, and get much better deals. To me, B&N isn’t even in the same league, in terms of dollars spent and actual savings.

19

867-5309, 90210. Why would you ever use any other numbers?

20

Ugh, couldn’t agree more with the OP.

The worst is when they go, “I’ll take your rewards card now.” It throws you off your standard reply because you have to verbally respond with more than a one word answer and triggers a conversation.

I agree with Jodi’s responses though. The first time ‘no thanks’ the second time, ‘just process my order’ or I just ignore them and hold up my money / credit card.