OK...I am officially living in "the future" now...

So… I just spoke to my computer, instructing it to connect to the internet, then to “The Straight Dope”, and then created this thread and composed it without touching the keyboard.

The technology is still kind of clunky and hard to use… getting the quotes on “The Straight Dope” took a bit of time… in fact, this message has taken about eight minutes so far…

But, I am 47, and this is the kind of wierd gizmo stuff they promised us back when I was 8!


Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fancy schmancy. Let’s see you talk it into opening the pod bay doors when it really doesn’t wanna…


Where’s my flying car? Where’s my personal jetpack? Where’s my food pill?

This isn’t the future! That’s tomorrow.

How did you do the quotes? Do you have to say “quote the straight dope endquote” or can it “read” your “air quotes”? :smiley:

Flying car. Jetpack. Food pill.

FML, what program are you using?

Sure, but do you still have to lock on phasers manually? If so then you’re still in the present, I’m afraid.

Dragon NaturallySpeaking, by chance?

Word 2003 has speech capability built in. I don’t have a link handy, but I’m sure you can follow the bouncing ball at support.microsoft.com to set it up, if you have a microphone. Didn’t take me long when I did it a couple of months ago. It’s a bit limited for how I use Word, but once you’ve got it trained, dictation is fun, and it can handle a certain number of standard commands as well as custom ones. So you can say “Page Down” or “[Name of Macro that you’ve put on a custom menu]” and watch Word do its thing hands free.

I dunno, I still get a little thrill just watching my cursor jump from one monitor to the other. Magic! :slight_smile:

Here is a tutorial on the subject from VICBOR software (quotes at :53 )

Is there any such voice command program that has an option for customized replies, i.e. play a certain .mp3 upon receiving a certain command? Because I totally would program my computer to sound like a Dalek… “I OBEY!”, or, when deleting files, of course “EXTERMINATE!!”…

The recycle bin makes a noise when it deletes something so I suppose you could change that sound.

I have them. You’ll get them back when I feel you’ve matured.

Oh, won’t that be a treat when mixed with voice recognition.

You: “Delete file.”
Speakers: “EXTERMINATE!!”
Computer: “Extermination command received. Must kill Half Man Half Wit.”

Unless you buy your tech second-hand from Starscream, I shouldn’t worry. And if you do do that, it’s going to betray you anyway.

We have 3D printers these days…that is amazing.


eye thinc voyz recognishin soft wayr steel has um floz.

Well, those aren’t mine.

Food pill, Shmood pill. Where is my beer pill ?

doubloon post

I have a robot that vacuums my floors (and falls down stairs).