OK, seriously. Fuck you, Microsoft.

I know ranting about Microsoft products is about as original and entertaining as a good “what’s with those fat circumcized SUV drivers talking on cell phones in the movies” thread, but I’m really pissed off right now.

I bought a new mouse yesterday (thanks to those of you that offered advice in my thread, BTW). Its selling point was that it was a “media player” mouse, with buttons designed to let you control movies, music, etc. The installation CD came with a crapload of programs that I’d never allow onto my computer - Real Player, for instance. Well, I was able to uncheck all of them except one - Windows Media Player 9. Believe me, I tried. It simply refused to not install it. I eventually gave up and allowed it to install. See, I already had two versions of WMP installed, but only used the older version without all the obnoxious bells and whistles. I figured I could keep using the old version, so installing version 9 shouldn’t be a problem.

Ha. Ha ha ha.

As soon as I try to open up a movie file (one that had previously been associated with my old WMP version), I get a setup screen for version 9. I can’t remember why I didn’t just shut it down and try to reassociate it with the version I like, but there was some reason. Anyway, sure enough, hidden in the setup process, in some place where it was hard to find, is the option where you can check which file types you want to associate with this version. Feeling clever, I instantly uncheck all of them, hoping it will just install itself and not mess with any of my settings.

Ha. Ha ha ha.

After it finished setting itself up, I opened up the file again as a test. Sure enough, up popped WMP version damn nine again. I closed it, went in, and reassociated the file with the good version. Again. I made sure to check the box that said “Always use this program to open files of this type,” and everything. Tested it again. Version nine AGAIN comes up! After much swearing and experimentation, I find that there’s a menu inside WMP v 9 where you can set file associations. It was set to associate itself with everything, of course, overriding what I told it to do during installation. And that menu apparently overrides associations I set in the freaking operating system!! Well, I unchecked all the options in that menu, went back into the OS, and redid all my movie file type associations. I opened a few files, and they came up in the right player, finally, and everything appeared to be working. At last! Victory, I thought!!

Ha. Ha ha ha.

This morning, I opened up a different file I hadn’t tried last night. It played in the right program, but now it’s unwatchably jerky, like it’s showing the frames out of order. I did some poking around, and found several more files that are doing that now, that never did it before. I’m guessing there’s some codec that’s been messed up by WMP 9, and anything encoded with that codec is unwatchable now.

So that’s my current state. I decided to write this instead of trying to tackle the latest twist in the saga. So fuck you, Microsoft. Fuck you for trying to take over my fucking computer that’s already running your fucking OS. All I fucking want to do is use an older fucking version of one of your own fucking products, but you won’t be fucking having that, now will you? No! You fucking think you need to fucking tell me how my own fucking computer should be fucking run. Why fucking even pretend to give me the fucking option of customizing things when you’re just going to fucking go ahead and do what you fucking want anyway? Fuckers. This is exactly why I never upgrade any software on my computer. Every time I try to make one tiny change - a new MOUSE, for hell’s sake!! - it turns into a days-long headache-inducing nightmare ordeal from hell.

Off to try to figure out how to uninstall this bastard. Yeah, I’m sure THAT’LL work.

Media Player Classic. After WMP 9 refused to play nicely, I decided to take my toys and go home.

And people laughed when the EU said they should offer a version of Windows without WMP?
First: Control Panel - Add & Remove Programs - Add/Remove Windows Components - remove WMP. No doubt this doesn’t actually remove it, but it castrates it somewhat.

Second: For those who simply want to watch moving pictures - Media Player Classic

This, according to XP itself, only removes access to WMP via the desktop and start menu.

Windows Media Classic is the version I’ve been using in the past, and am still trying to use. I can still get it to play these files, but now any file encoded in XviD is unwatchable, even in Classic. I have a LOT of XviD files, dammit. I reinstalled the codec, but that didn’t do anything.

Any other suggestions?

And I just tried installing WMP Classic from that link, and it’s still doing the same thing. AAARRRRGHH!!!

Did you just install the standard codecs or have you tried a playback pack?

Other codecs are working fine, it’s just XviD that’s crapping out, so XviD is the only one I’ve tried to reinstall.

There we go! I got it fixed. Turns out that when I was reinstalling the codec, one file wasn’t getting rewritten - I had to delete it manually then reinstall again.

We now return this incipient tech support thread to its regularly schedule Microsoft rant:

Fuck you, Microsoft! All I wanted to do was get a new mouse, and I ended up spending several hours trying to fix problems caused by changes you made I never wanted in the first place!!

Had WMP9 installed.

Installed JetAudio.

Everything worked cool.

Something forced WMP10 on me.

Now, whenever I play files of a certain extension (.avi, I think, I’m not home) it doesn’t launch WMP. It doesn’t launch JetAudio.

It asks me to pick which program to use for .avi files. I check the “always use this program” box.

…guess what happened next…

-Joe, doesn’t need to finish the story

If you weren’t trying to install a mouse with a zillion unmouselike bells and whistles, you would not need a driver and therefore would not have had to install any software.

How’s this for weird: I use Firefox and use Media Player as the default player. I currently have WMP 10. CNN’s website offers video clips. When I click on the clip, a dialogue box comes up telling me “We are unable to determine the version of Windows Media Player installed”.

The clip won’t play. I right click on the clip and read the error message.

Is says this.

You might try the extension MediaPlayerConnectivity. I use WMP 9 and am able to play CNN videos - as an external application, but they do play.

Why is it that I have NEVER had these weird-ass problems you guys do?

I use WinXP Pro with WMP10 AND media player classic. I associate the files once and they stay associated.

Huh.

Hey Smeghead - are you a member of a certain torrent site, #dd? Someone posted this exact problem to their forums today…

FTR, I am kind of surprised you are having problems with WMP and your XviD stuff. I use WMP 10 (and previously 9) and haven’t had any problems with codecs save for one file I had to play in VLC.

Have you installed the Ace MegaCodecs Pack for maximum codec-ness? (it does come with WMP Classic, though. Obviously, the player of choice for the serious codec user…)

That worked!

Thanks.

Yes, you’re right. My wanting to install a mouse with an unusually high level of functionality was an act of extreme hubris, providing clear moral license for Microsoft to move in and screw up my system. I’m so sorry! I deserved it! I don’t know what I was thinking! Please forgive me, Mr. Gates, and I’ll go back to your perfect, plain two button wired mouse!! I’VE LEARNED MY LESSON!!

I bought a mouse with a built-in soft drink dispenser and the CD it came with had the gall to install software that allowed me to dispense soft drinks. I can’t believe how much time I wasted fighting the drink dispenser software! I don’t even like soft drinks!

What sort of mouse was this? I know Logitech makes a multimedia mouse and if so I would assume the installation program is created by Logitech. Maybe Microsoft make one too…

Jeeze, have you tried installing anything on Windows lately without having forced on you;

  • An update for Outlook. I don’t use Outlook, I don’t want Outlook. It is just a playground for viruses and spyware. Get this damn thing off my computer.

  • An update to IE6. I don’t use IE unless some disfunctional web site absolutely forces me. IE 5 works just fine for me.

  • Media Player 9. Of course, it’s not really the Media Player that everyone wants to take up residence on your computer. It’s the DRM that comes with it. You will have this on your computer whether you like it or not.

Or you could easily bypass all these headaches and get a MAC…haha…someone had to say it.