OK, so I get this piece of spam, but this one is very different...

Yeah, so this was in my inbox this morning, luckily it struck my eye before I hit the delete key:

Hello,

I’m a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display.

I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment:
I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit.

Please transport unit in either a brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Monday July 28th at (exactly 3:00pm) Eastern Standard Time on the dot. A few minutes prior will be ok, but it cannot be after. If you miss this timeframe please email me.

Latitude N .* & Longitude W .* and the Elevation is 96.
WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSPORT ITEM BY REGULAR MEANS OF TELEPORTATION. THEY ARE MONITORING AND WILL REDIRECT THE SIGNAL!!
I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU HAVE TO GET IT HERE, JUST DO IT IN A WAY THAT NO SPYING EYES WILL POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO REDIRECT THE TRANSFERENCE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ABLE TO MONITOR THE TRANSFER.

Although those coordinates are a secure guarded area, these channels through email are never secure. Unfortunately it is the only form of communication I have right now.

After unit has been sent please email me at: info@*********.com
with payment instructions. Do not reply directly back to this email.
Thank You
painting
pgyqmwrnx rzawohn
azdjz jtsc
bvoyrofm

That’s actually how it was signed at the bottom, I didn’t gobble it up. I must say this is the most creative piece of spam I have ever gotten, but I’m not sure what it is trying to sell me. Possibly it is trying to sell me a computer with those specs? Or maybe it’s a sci-fi version of the Nigerian scam (send them a computer as oppossed to money?) At any rate, I did get a good laugh out of it, and that’s good enough for me. (Should I email him (from a different email address) and tell him I missed the time frame?

You must taunt this lunitic!

I figgure we should get Wang-Ka or Scylla to come up with the reply as to ensure maximum hillarity

Interesting that you would get spam requesting a response by a few days ago… But then it IS time travel spam…

Don’t warp generators usually go in vehicles designed for space travel?

This google search turned up another letter similar to your own.

I’m no sci-fi buff but why would one need RAM for something like this?

Ha. The implication here, I think, is that there is some non carbon-based life form out there sufficiently populating the universe/whatever that this device would have to be suitably certified. I’m rather unsure why a laser used as a pointing device (as LLC Lasers seem to be) would be useful for warp generation, but then I’m not a timetraveler, so maybe there’s a trick of the trade I don’t know.

Meant to show unfamiliarity with the concept of non-globalized currency, I think. Shows that this person comes from another time, but one that is not so separate from ours that gold is not a commodity. Also further establishes this person’s knowledge of and relation to this planet.

See above re: cultural familiarity.

FORMERAGENT-style. “I AM BEING WATCHED. I AM GOING TO MOVE NOW BUT I WILL POST LATER”. Great stuff, good times. More than a little bizarre/crazy, but it’s so hard to find quality spam these days so we forgive a little over-the-top stuff such as this.

ah, yes… but we are talking about a dimensional warp generator… warping dimensions not just the fabric of time and space…

I’m kinda curious as to where the latitude andlongitude point to. Is there a site out ther ethat will show you on a mp the location of lat and long that you type in?

It bet it points to Detroit. :smiley:

I got this piece of spam too. I replied “Dahling! Wrist-mounted warp generators are so 2350!”

I got something extremely similar to this. It was so strange I had to save it. I can’t begin to imagine why someone would hire a spammer to send this nonsense. I suppose it’s probably someone’s idea of a clever marketing scheme, but I’m not going to reply to the e-mail address to find out. If anyone’s interested, here it is:


Greetings,

We need a vendor who can offer immediate supply.
I’m offering $5,000 US dollars just for referring a vender which is
(Actually RELIABLE in providing the below equipment) Contact details
of vendor required, including name and phone #. If they turn out to be
reliable in supplying the below equipment I’ll immediately pay you
$5,000. We prefer to work with vendor in the Boston/New York area.

  1. The mind warper generation 4 Dimensional Warp Generator # 52 4350a
    series wrist watch with z80 or better memory adapter. If in stock the
    AMD Dimensional Warp Generator module containing the GRC79 induction
    motor, two I80200 warp stabilizers, 256GB of SRAM, and two Analog
    Devices isolinear modules, This unit also has a menu driven GUI
    accessible on the front panel XID display. All in 1 units would be
    great if reliable models are available

  2. The special 23200 or Acme 5X24 series time transducing capacitor
    with built in temporal displacement. Needed with complete
    jumper/auxiliary system

  3. A reliable crystal Ionizor with unlimited memory backup.

  4. I will also pay for Schematics, layouts, and designs directly
    from the manufature which can be used to build this equipment
    from readily available parts.

If your vendor turns out to be reliable, I owe you $5,000.

Email his details to me at: ****@**************.com
Please do not reply directly back to this email as it will
only be bounced back to you.

strike
opkzajbayrccd gxlme zrotbr
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Two remarkably similar emails? This is a joke. Look at 'em… look closely. Read the specs for the time-travel device. They sound like computer jargon from the lat 90s. 256/512 GB SDRAM? That’s computer talk, slightly jumbled. Maybe I’m wrong, but using our binary system which this seems to, do you get those numbers? I know you do with, say, a 256Mb ram chip, but GIG? Isn’t the math off a bit? And who in hell refers to their home computer as having a ‘menu driven GUI accessible on the video display’? It’s WINDOWS, folks, we all use it all the time, there’s no reason to describe it as a GUI! I don’t know but this stuff all looks like techno-babble to me, perhaps the Star Trek people wrote it?

And please, let’s get those coordinates! I wanna know where it is! The middle of a mall, where the writer can sit and eat corn dogs and laugh as people wander around with their GPS? The middle of nowhere, so he can pick you off with a sniper rifle or drag you off and make you squeal like a pig? A secured building like a military base, where he hopes you’ll try to break in and get arrested/shot? Where?! I wanna know!

A Google search for some of the terms in the original e-mail turned up a version with these coordinates:

Latitude: 42.48454
Longitude: -71.15761

The altitude given was 101.3’, not 96 as in the OP, so it’s possible the coordinates have been changed. Mapquest places these coordinates in/near Woburn, MA. It’s a shame I don’t live in MA any more or I might be persuaded to drive out there and have a look.

Fifty bucks says it’s a spammer trying to figure out which are real e-mail addresses so he can snow you under with ads for sci-fi DVDs.

And penis enlargement.

Regards,
Shodan

Shodan has it. It’s nothing more than an email address harvesting scheme. The authors are hoping to get people to reply to the email to mock or ridicule them or for whatever reason, and then they know the email address was valid.

I don’t know about anybody else, but I take comfort in the fact that the ACME corporation, the same maker of those rocket devices and bombs that Wilde Cayote used in Road Runner, is still around in the future messing up perfectly good plans!

OK, sure. We know it’s some sort of stupid scam - I don’t think that’s really in question. But it’s certainly the most clever piece of spam I’ve ever seen, and hey, I’ve got to give them credit for that. Incidentally, I just looked up the domain registration info for the e-mail address given in the spam, and the company it belongs to is in Woburn, MA (just like the coordinates). Maybe this is just some random store trying to create “internet buzz” with some sort of half-assed “viral marketing” scheme. In any case, like I said, it’s reasonably clever. I think I’ll send them an e-mail from one of my throwaway accounts and see what I get.

The coordinates are a Chick-Fil-A outside Woburn, MA.

Google on “GRC79 induction motor” and you’ll get a pretty good number of hits - there’s some speculation about the random-seeming bit of text in the sig being some sort of code or something.

The last time this type of email went out, an acquaintance of mine engaged them in conversation for a while. The spammers tried to arrange a meeting, which wasn’t going to happen as the acquaintance was in California.

It’s most likely just email harvesting, but it’s a cute way of doing it.

Yes, I too received one of these emails. I figured it was just email harvesting and deleted it. Now that I see a discussion about it, I wish I’d kept it. I swear they were asking for a flux capacitor.

I agree with Shodan and *Q.E.D. — it’s a recipient validator.