See, that’s the problem with young, lovely, nubile girls and bras. As a Certified Dirty Old Man, I am required to believe the two just don’t mix: Ban all bras until the woman in question is at least thirty years old. Of course, I don’t include teenage girls in this; the ban shouldn’t begin until the woman in question is at least twenty years old. I might have to resign from the Dirty Old Man Association.
As a young teenager, I was enjoying the house to myself for an hour early on a Sunday as my parents were at church. I decided to celebrate by cooking a breakfast of bacon and eggs. Now I know why you never cook in just a bathrobe. :eek:
“GE… we bring good things to life…!” 
I was in a lampworking (table top glass-for beadmaking and ornaments) class when my bead shattered. A tiny red-hot chip hit my neck above my turtleneck, and I flinched away in a manner that allowed the chip to fall into my tight turtleneck, down into my bra. I apparently said “WHHHEEP!” and set a record for speed stripping to let the chip fall. Thankfully when this happened, there were only 2 males in the class. One was in the bathroom, the other was wearing his ipod and did not notice anything until all the women were getting laughter-induced anoxia, and I was dressed again.
It was twenty-seven feet long? :eek:
I’m surprised people weren’t stepping on it and kids weren’t riding their bikes over it. 
That’s the envy of nearly every male here.
“I fell into a burning ring of fire,
I went down, down, down, and the flames went higher,
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire…”
Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?
Awesome! I’d manage something like that in exact reverse. The 2 girls would be distracted and all the guys would be watching me.
The is the story of a lonely man, a warm night, and a Romantic Pool.
SSG Schwartz
Unauthorized Cinnamon thanks for the advise. I did what you said and that certainly helped with the uncomfortable rubbing!
Zebra bats eyelids and pouts lip yes please…
I’m getting some slight scabbing now - sexy!:rolleyes:
Dammit! That was the first thing I thought when I saw this thread and I forgot to say it! :smack:
Not me but …
Eons ago at my first real job the woman at the next desk over set a large cup of coffee half on the desk & half not. It tipped & dumped 16 oz of almost-boiling industrial coffee in her crotch. That is not a sound I will ever forget.
She went to the ER & they did the best they could with the burns. She walked bow-legged for a month. She was 20 & slender, but wore muu-muus & no undies throughout the recovery. As best I know she had no permanent damage, but (sadly) I wasn’t on speaking terms with her privates so I can’t say for sure.
The worst part? She was a full-time nursing student who worked in our office just part time. She had been doing her practicals at that same hospital. So she knew everybody on duty when she came in with a badly poached pussy.
Believe me, a 27’ dick causes more problems than it solves. 
I can see it now: At the end of every episode, a doctor walks through the ER holding a different object – a lightbulb, a carrot, a deodorant bottle, a fork, a ski pole, a bird feeder, a bowling trophy, a live hamster…
Now that’s must see TV!
SpecialAgentJem, might I suggest this fancy new invention? It’s just the thing for those awkward “Help! I’m naked and the doorbell is ringing!” situations. 
I had a horrible sprained ankle when I was 8. Almost tore the ligament, couldn’t walk for 3 weeks. Not embarrassing, you say? Well, I got it when running through my uncle’s house to tell the grownups that my younger cousin had accidentally overflowed the toilet. Guess what I slipped in and fell right on my face?
… and they said warm milk helps you sleep better.
Two incidents:
I was at the top of a 24 foot extension ladder. That doesn’t sound all that high but believe me when you are looking down at piles of rebar it’s high enough. I was hanging on to a column while welding overhead. Sure as shit, a rather large chunk of red hot slag flaked off and tumbled right down the back of my shirt. Well I damn sure wasn’t about to dance the watusi on top of an extension ladder, so I just howled and hung on while I finished the weld. Had a little crater at the top of my rear cleavage for a month. Ow! On the plus side, I got elected Savage of the Day and that got me free beer after work. Which I drank standing up.
I was shovelling down the chicken noodle special at my favorite Thai restaurant. I like it pretty spicy, and on that day I had gotten carried away with the hot pepper oil. So I was sweating a little but enjoying my lunch. But in mid-shovel I managed to lose a noodle, which flipped off my chop sticks back onto the plate. From the end of the noodle, a red droplet flung upward and got rapidly larger in my sight. Before I could blink it smacked directly into my left eye. I can assure you that hot pepper oil doesn’t feel near as good as it tastes. Yes indeedy.
Good news folks - my nipple is on the mend and should be back in business in no time! I like to think I’m not accident prone but over the pst few years I have done some stupid stuff
- Managed to ride my sledge into fence in turn badly damaging my ankle
- Poured hot burning fat over my thumb
- Ripped my nipples (quite a few times actually) against the part of the door indicated by the dark grey in this picture.
To be honest I’m suprised I have any nipples let to burn.
Thanks for all your stories guys - its nice to know I’m not alone on this kind of thing. I think its time I get a dressing gown!
Slightly off the question at hand but this really made me laugh
Full sensation and everything? Scarring badly?
I was hiking in the desert and I got very tired, so I sat down without looking. I got up again very quickly, as I had sat on a cactus. Since I didn’t want to go to the emergency room and admit I’d had such a dumb accident I put up with cactus stickers attached to my heiney for the next six weeks.
I wore an ill-fitting sports bra for a run once and had blistered tits for a week (Blistered Tits would be an awesome band name).
My husband and I were doing yard work one day in different parts of the yard. I heard this weird noise, and thought it was a cat or something. He came staggering around the corner of the house, clutching the left side of his chest. I thought he was having a heart attack, and I froze, trying to decide whether to call 911 or get him an aspirin first. Then he wailed, “A wasp just stung my nipple”! The weird sound I heard was him screaming like a little girl.