OK, that's just embarassing

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I should state straight off that I’m in a committed and loving relationship.

Be that as it may, I never mind it if a cute woman looks in my direction. I like to labor under the illusion that I still have some power of attraction. If I can flirt a little and get a positive response, it makes me feel good. Even better if the object of my flirtation is a jimp young thang.

For this reason, as well as health reasons, I am trying to lose some weight. Hey, nothing says “sexy” like non-blimp, right?

Part of my weight loss program is exercise. I’ve mostly been doing kickboxing, but that gets boring. I’m always looking for a new way to get my heart rate up, and if it’s fun, all the better.

I have no idea why this occured to me, but somehow I got it into my head that Hula-Hooping might be fun. I set out on a quest to find one, which is not as easy as it may sound. Where does one go to get a Hula-Hoop? Well, it turns out CVS has them, at least one in my neighborhood does.

So anyway, I made my way home tonight, and walked into my apartment building. I was waiting for the elevator, and just as it arrived, who arrived but two of the hottest, sexiest girls I’ve ever laid eyes on. Not enough S’s in Ssssssexy to describe them. Hhhhhhot.

And there I am, trying to look as buff as possible. Chest out, stomach… uh, partially out. Lo and behold, they’re going to my floor.

So there we were on the elevator. Me. Two hot sex babes.

And the girliest, glitteriest, gayest of all possible Hula Hoops.

2

As opposed to some hypothetical macho colored hula hoop?

Yeah.

Tris

3

<snerk> You should have demonstrated your skill and talent!

4

I would have, but I think they were too put off by the hula hoop.

5

Ba-da-bing! Very good.

6

Damn straight.

Painted black. With spikes on the inside for traction. And morning stars attached, for self-defense. And a built-in mp3 player, to crank out the Zep.

7

At least it wasn’t a man-sized Lemon Twist. :smiley:

8

Coulda been worse. Coulda been a Skip-it.

9

So you look at them and say…

“Never mind my condom stretcher ladies” :wink:

10

It could be for your kids !! Another plus for getting women . (I’m fairly old & married :smack: )

11

Eek, no, the kids thing drives me away faster than “Do you love Jesus Christ?” :smiley:

12

So “Do you think Jesus Christ loves my kids?” would be right out? :smiley:

13

[Nelson]
Haw haw!
[/Nelson]

14

Relax. They forgot all about it.

As soon as they got into their apartment, fell on the floor convulsed in laughter and called all their extra hot and sexy girlfriends.

Then they forgot.

15

“Do you think Jesus Christ would love my kids’ big gay hula hoop?”

16

Big Gay Hula Hoop

Band name.

17

You could try a weighted hula hoop . I have one and they do actually work. They do hurt a bit when the ridges on the inner bit hit the fat but that goes away pretty quickly. The best part being the ability to disassemble and store in a box so no sexy women see it.

18

Shoulda said: “damned condom broke”.

19

You say “Skip-it,” I say “Lemon Twist.”

The Lemon Twist was fruitier.

20

You left out a vital point: after laughing with their sexy, half dressed, college co-ed girlfriends, the girls spent a few hours having pillow fights, rubbing lotion on one another, and giving each other breast exams. Of course the whole night was a bust because they had gone out to find a big, burly man with big hands to help with the exams.

Why the hell did you have to ruin their night like that? :mad: I mean, nothing irritates my friends and me more than having some dude with a hoola hoop ruin all of our wild orgy fantasies.

:stuck_out_tongue: