Actually, the one that I linked to has a massage mode. And a warm-air drier, adjustable water temperature and pressure and a seat warmer. 
Here’s a page with pictures (clean pictures) showing all the features.
If I ever have $500 to spend on a toilet, I’m getting this.
Yes, it can be ice cold - akin to having an “ice cream” headache. A weird rush. Hee.
QtM can probably explain the physiology in much more entertaining detail. 
Frankly, during the summer, it can be outright refreshing.
My inlet to my toilet is the first line from my main water line. Comes out of the ground ice cold. My second floor bidet water inlet pipe stays a little warmer and the water is usually body temperature for the period of time you use it. You can route your plumbing so that the warm water goes into you toilet tank - usually recommended for tanks that tend to form lots of condensation from the inlet water being too cold. Another option is to install additional copper coil to allow the water to warm as it passes through the bidet unit. The company I ordered from has a warming system for extra $.
Anne
Add ass hairs to you list, Doc. There’s nothing quite like a few dingleberries to ruin your day. And no, I don’t want to use toilet paper and spend five minutes picking paper mache dingleberries off my furry butt.
(Oh, was that TMI?)
Nice…Though $500 :dubious: If I spend $500 to replace a TP roll I’d like it to maybe provide some frontla service too :o (And yes, I understand the benefits, I suffer from Anal Fissures if I use the cheap TP on my rectum.) Rectum? Damn near killed 'em.
And how is this a bad thing?
I must say I love ass wipes for adults. I just discovered these little gems not more than three or four months ago and now I’m completely hooked. I will say I’ve been ribed more than once by my guy friends about this.
So I like my ass to be super clean! Sue me if you’d like.
Seems like women would appreciate this quality in a guy.
They are right there next to the TP in just about every store I have been to- maybe Wal-mart moved them somewhere,. but I KNOW they have 'em.
The brand I use is called “Cottonelle Fresh” and yes, they are very nice. I don’t use them always, but… Anyway, you can order them online. Try:
http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jhtml?CATID=100615&id=prod395979
The ladies seem to like them very much for wiping after they urinate.
This would be a pussy shaver, of course.
I suppose one could Google for “shaved pussy” to … nah! :dubious:
Thank you, ladies and gents, for this wonderful little thread. I’ve needed a laugh all day, and you good people provided. Cheers!
Snicks
Spelled and pronounced that way, it’s presumably a condition that will be covered under the next phase of Dubya’s Medicare program.
Yeah, leave it to Michael Graves to design a cat that can’t even clean itself.
Hey, when his fondue set can’t even come with instructions on what heating source to use, I’m sure as hell not getting a cat from him. ([hijack]Sorry…pet peeve - we got the fondue set as a bridal shower gift, and were all excited to use it one night - then discovered there were no instructions. I know how to use one to EAT, but I’ve never had one of my own before and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t using the wrong heating source…I mean, hell, what kind of cooking gadget doesn’t come with instructions and recipes? Thank goodness we have an awesome fondue cookbook now, but I was kind of mad. I did email the Michael Graves people, and they responded promptly with instructions about the heating source, so they scored points for that. But we never did get our fondue dinner that night…[/hijack].
Ava
Who the hell is Michael Graves and where was he mentioned in this thread?? 
Does Michael Graves make these shavers? Hope they come with instructions. Illustrated.
Heh. Sorry that was a little obscure.
Middlea wrote this: “I save the wipes for my cat who is too fat to clean herself and she can’t work the lever on the bidet. I buy mine at Target.” The first time I read it, I parsed the last sentence as meaning that she buys her cats at Target. Which gave me a giggle.
Michael Graves is a world-famous designer and architect. Several years back, when Target was trying to establish itself as the “hip” alternative to Kmart or Wal-mart, they announced with great fanfare that Michael Graves would be designing a line of products for them. The products proved quite popular, but unfortunately, in his zeal to make things look cool, Mr. Graves forgot about factors like functionality and durability. This kind of thing is a major peeve of fans of functional design like myself. While a product should be able to both work well and look good, the former factor is obviously the priority. If the product doesn’t work, then it’s just so much junk, whether it has the name of a world-class designer on it or not. And example of a Graves design that sacrificed functionality for looks is the ironing board. He substituted a rounded end for the traditional pointed end. It looks “new” and “fresh,” but you can’t properly iron a garment on it. I appreciate that Target is making an attempt to bring better design to mass-market products, but unfortunately they keep bringing in products that look good sitting on the shelf, but are functionally inferior. (Here is a short but pointed discussion of this phenomenon.)
So, it seemed only too apt that the cat the Middlea had supposedly purchased from Target had some functional limitations. Hence my crack about Michael Graves.
And in the article, the pop up slide show is just as strong an example of form trumping function than any of the items.
The buttons to advance the slide show are tiny and not typical of such controls.
And they jump left or right and up or down with every slide.
That would be correct, Sir.
My cat does have some functional limitations - she can’t lick her butt. She tries, but misses the target. Heyoooh…Schwing!