If the parents think $1300/mo + utilities is reasonable for what they’re offering, then they shouldn’t have any trouble finding some other tenant to live there. However, given that the 18YO son quickly found a place with his own room and bathroom for far less than his parents wanted, it seems their terms were excessive without even considering anything else.
And it gets worse when you do consider other factors.
If they don’t want a total stranger sharing their younger son’s bedroom and bathroom - that is, if they see value in having the tenant be a long-known member of the family - then there should be a fat discount on the rent they demand from their 18YO son.
Most tenants will not want to share their bedroom with someone else, so the rent demanded from their son should be lowered even further to reflect the fact that he’d be sharing the room with his younger brother.
If the parents are as house-poor as they claim to be, then they should move somewhere that costs less. That’ll be easier now that one kid is out of the house, and they should thank him for leaving.
Just checking, because that phrasing was a bit ambiguous - you’re saying the people demanding that their kids either pay rent or get out are assholes, not that the people getting out at 18 are assholes, right?
Kids working and paying some type of rent to their parents while they are in college happens - but not so much that they could get a roommate and have their own bedroom for the amount the parents want for a shared bedroom. Because most people, no matter how badly they wanted or needed the money would realize that it’s never going to happen.
Not rent like that and rarely 18 year olds. But if your studies have been interrupted or delayed, it is normal to pay some smallish amount towards your upkeep. Especially once you’re over 21.
There was no money for college in my family, but I was putting myself through Community College while working 30 hours a week. That didn’t work well and I joined the Navy.
When I got out of the Navy I was now 22 and moved back home. Got a full time job and went back to school part time. My parents asked for a very reasonable $50 per month IIRC. This didn’t even cover food and utilities I’m sure even back then, but it helped.
My brother moved back home around the same time but he is older and they asked him for more like $200 per month so he did cover his costs at least and probably a little bit more.
My kids have free rent for as long as they need, but we’re a lot better off financially then my parents ever were.
Yeah–when I was 23, I took 9 months off of college and moved back to my home town (I think there were no classes that semester that I wanted). At first I rented a room in a friend’s house, but after she moved out and I got very firmly on another housemate’s shit list, I moved back in with my dad for about three months. During that time I paid the same rent as I’d paid at the other house.
I can imagine a situation similar to the OP where the parents aren’t terrible assholes. Let’s say they’re undergoing a serious crisis in their family, like a cancer diagnosis that’s forced one parent to stop working, and they’re in danger of losing their house. They ask their working son to help with the mortgage for a bit so that the family isn’t homeless.
But for that to be true, the OP would’ve had to leave out a ton of crucial details. Based on a straightforward reading, of course the parents are being terrible.
The figure demanded was outrageously high and the parents were clearly in the wrong.
However, I think it is healthy to charge adult children some form of rent and costs. It should be pro-rata to what they are earning and if they are away at uni they shouldn’t be charged during the time they are away.
We don’t need the money from our kids but they know that after the age of 18 we expect some form of negotiated contribution.
In my town it would take them almost 30 seconds to get that job. Wendy’s is hiring at $16/hour right now and begging for workers Taco Bell and McDonalds are also hiring but they are disclosing their starting wages. Every sit-down restaurant is looking for servers and I heard of a restaurant 30 miles away that was paying a $2,500 signing bonus for servers.
Based on $16/hr and no tips the kid should bring home ~$2,200 per month after taxes.
I don’t think it matters. Let’s just assume the parents are for the case at hand. Does that change anything? To me, it doesn’t. I mean, if the parents said, hey, you gotta pitch in for your tuition, that’s one thing, but what was said is “if you want to live here, you need to pay $X per month or go somewhere else.” He chose somewhere else.
In this case the kid is going to college, so it’s not really feasible to work full time. It can be done, but it would be very stressful to work that much while in school. Something like 20-25 hours/week would be the most that a student should work, and even that much would likely jeopardize the schoolwork.
The kid is much better off getting an apartment with roommates. It will be cheaper, he will be with his peers, and he won’t have these crazy parents making demands.
Now if the kid wasn’t working and was just living at home, then I’m fine with the parents charging market rent. In that case, charging rent will be a great incentive for him to move out and become more self-sufficient, which is what a young adult should do.
Certainly. I’m not defending the parents but it was hardly an impossible number for the kid to earn. Most of my friends in college got job bouncing at a local strip club twenty years ago they were earning $20/hr + tip share. Most of them made a grand a week and most of that was under the table. They worked Thursday, Friday, Saturday for about 20-24 hours per week. Working in bars was popular in college and you make much more than you do working fast food.
If he’s strong enough to open a beer bottle he could get a job as a bartender making $9/hour plus tips around here tips is ~$50/hour for the whole staff so with tip out they get about $20 so for easy math let’s call it $30/hour for 16 hours per week and he’d make ~$2k per month.
Right. If my kid was ever in a failure to launch situation I might jack up the rent gradually so it would become less and less appealing to live at home.
The way I was raised was a bit extreme, but I wouldn’t want to err on the overly permissive side either. If I had an adult child living with me I would expect they would be working toward some goal. Paying off student loans or prepping for the GRE or something that represented a move toward independence.
