-I work 20 hours a week, $10 an hour. I have roughly $4k saved
-I will obviously have to take out loans at some point
-Rent in the area for a 2br is around $800; I’d be splitting this 50/50 with an acquaintance
-I go to community college to save money and just finished my first semester on a high note, planning on going into engineering and eventually transferring to a nearby uni I could simply commute to
-My parents would be disappointed and not support me in any way; I’d feel like otherwise would be cheating
-I am okay with forgoing a car and just riding the bus for a few years; I was late to get my license, so I’m used to it anyway
-I am okay with forgoing a fancy cell phone/eating out often/new games every month/cable/what-the-hell-ever
I just feel too pampered. I want see what it must have been like for my dad when he first came here. I want to feel like I’ve earned my place. Sure it’s not as solid a reason as “I’m getting kicked to the curb anyway”, but hopefully it’s more reasonable than the reasons most people my age move out without immediate external need, whatever those reasons tend to be.
Is this financially viable at all? Am I being realistic here, or am I just being a naive kid? I don't wanna be one of those people who winds up back with mommy and daddy in a year.
Roommate situations can turn bad in a heartbeat. If you cannot afford the rent and utilities all by yourself, I would advise to NOT move.
You are chafing because you see yourself as an adult, but as long as you live under your parents’ roof, you are still “a child.” It’s completely understandable.
However, the economy SUCKS. Your savings will evaporate quickly, the bills will pile up, and the independence will feel like more of a burden than a blessing.
My advice is to stay put, keep saving what you can, and finish school. Offer to pay a nominal rent to your folks, and concentrate on getting excellent grades.
~VOW
How old are you? I’m guessing quite young, under 20, yet you sound frighteningly mature and level-headed.
If $400 is your monthly rent then that’s half your income gone in rent alone, the usual guideline is around 1/3rd of disposable income for rent/mortgage.
That said I’d be surprised if your parents would cut you dead for moving out - have you discussed it with them? They might be relieved for all you know.
I agree with all of Vow’s reasons, especially the roommate thing. You don’t want to depend on another young person that’s on shaky financial ground when you have a legally binding contract to be responsible for. That shit can go bad in one second.
Take it easy, get a shit-ton of schooling, and save your money.
@Vow
Thanks for your advice. To give a little more info on the roommate, he’s an acquaintance from high school. I know him well enough to know he’s an overall trustworthy guy (meaning I would be surprised to find my things missing or a meth lab in the bathroom) but there’s only minor overlap in our social circles and no prior drama between us. That sounded like a good roommate candidate to me, but I wouldn’t know, and so that’s why I’m here. @Askance
I’m not quite 20, right. I was unaware of the 1/3rd of disposable income guideline; that’s better than I expected, actually. Let’s say I found a situation in which I’d be paying $270 in rent; would that be enough for most people to give me the go-ahead? Or is that just one of many reasons I should be much more hesitant about this?
As for my parents, yes, they would be disappointed if I moved out. Ironic but the truth. @Alice The Goon
I do get what you’re saying. The financial floor on which I’d be standing would be undeniably less stable than if I were staying with my parents. Sorry to get all “stubborn teen” on you, but that IS part of moving out in a large number of people’s cases, right?
For what it’s worth, he’s in an even better financial situation than me; he’ll be having some degree of support from his parents to fall back on in case of emergency, and already makes more than I do (lucky guy already has a career path instead of “just a job” like me").
And then some. But going underwater with some loans for a few years is what all the cool kids do anyway, right?
It’s probably not the smartest idea to just go by comparing myself to other college students these days, but when I see people going nearly $100k into debt for a Cheez-It’s Studies degree from an out-of-state or private school, I have a hard time telling myself that the roughly $10k/yr tuition at the local 4-year is out of the question, and it would only be for two years after I finish up at this dirt-cheap CC.
But it sounds like this is something you need to and want do, and It’s a good life learning experience to “leave the nest” as they say. I remember when I moved out at 18, it was awesome. I lived dirt poor, but I was free.
Worst case scenario, if things get really rough you can always move back home. Parents are typically always happy to have you back no matter how old you get.
My daughter and her (now-ex)husband lived with us right after they got married. The idea was for him to go to college and for them to save money for a house. When he became the ex, she stayed with us another year, again, to save for a house. But she was increasingly embarrassed to say, at 25, that she was still living with her parents, so she moved out.
Even though she’s got a job and a car, her savings are pretty much gone. Her boyfriend/roommate is destined to be her next ex - I’d almost guarantee. And her chances now of ever owning a house on her own are pretty much shot. And grad school? yeah, right… But she’s an adult and it’s her life and she lives with her choices. She also knows that we are not prepared to completely upend our lives to let her move back in. We’ve reclaimed the “apartment” we’d made for her and told her flat out that it was history. We’d never let her starve or live in her car, but we would not be happy to have her back - she made her choice and she’s old enough to deal with that. And no, I’m not bitter - just disappointed in how it all worked out - and enough hijacking now.
I understand wanting you own place - I left home at 19 myself. The difference is I joined the Navy. Like you, I’d researched what it would have cost me to live on my own and even dropping out of college and working full time, it would have been extremely difficult. And while you don’t see five figures worth of loans as a huge deal, do you really want to start out in debt? Having had some heavy debt myself, I can say, it’s a heck of a burden and not something you should consider lightly.
What if you and your parents set up a “roommate” sort of arrangement? You contribute to the household both financially and maybe taking a turn at making meals or doing laundry or whatever else you’d have to do in your own place? It’d be great practice for you and when you eventually do have your own place, you’ll be ready. Just a thought. Do yourself a favor and make sure it’s not purely an emotional decision. [/mom mode]
My son is in your exact situation and he moved out to live with friends. He pays around $350/ month plus utilities. He works around 25 hours a week for 11/ hour. He moved out when he worked closer to 16 hours/ week. We still pay his tuition and car insurance but he pays for everything else. I think it’s a not practical but excellent idea. He actually manages to save money so he usually has what he needs for car repairs or other essentials. We buy most of his clothes and give them for gifts and once in a while I get him a gas card or something. Once we didn’t think he was eating enough so we brought him food.
He can come back if he wants to and he did for a few months between places. He’s been succesful at this for 2+ years. You’re only young once, go for it. Try to work full time during the summer to build your savings and even do odd jobs like babysitting and pet watching for pocket money.
I just wanted to add that the first year he moved out was to student housing so he didn’t have to worry about paying for a roommate who moved out.
I know it doesn’t seem likely now, but roommates do often bail out. It’s not always a malicious or irresponsible act, either. Say your friend and you sign a year-long lease on a place, and after three months, he gets a job opportunity somewhere else. Or he gets sick and has to move in back with his parents. Or he decides to transfer to another school. That lease agreement is not going to just magically work out. You will have to scramble for a roommate–paying all the bills on your own in the meantime. And then the roommate you end up getting will most likely be a stranger. This is major stress.
So if you do rent a place with someone, I’d make sure the lease is short (6-months or month-to-month).
Part of the savings of going to a CC comes from not having to pay for room and board. That’s not a trivial chunk of money, either. You’re not only going to be paying rent, but also utilities and internet (not cheap), food (assuming you aren’t stocking the fridge now), and incidentals (furniture, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, laundry money). I know it doesn’t seem like it will be a lot from the vantage point of someone itching to be free, but it really is. All of it adds up very fast.
My recommendation is to stick with your current living arrangement until you transfer to a university. You can always live in a dorm there, right? Dorms aren’t exactly high living, but they give you a sense of independence while also shielding you from the harshness of the real world. You are still quite young, so don’t worry about coming across as immature because you’re still at home. Plus, there are plenty of ways to feel grown up while living at home. Don’t let anyone cook for you, for instance. Either cook your own meals or volunteer to cook for your family.
I would never go into a situation planning on taking out loans unless it’s completely unavoidable. $4K isn’t anything to sneeze at, but keep building it up. You’ll feel much better seeing that go to your education than on cheap furniture that you’ll throw away in a couple of years anyway.
FWIW, college students are generally dependent on their parents still at this age, and generally feel chafed by it.
A college student, working part-time, but with support from parents (whether paying for the dorm or living at home) is pretty typical in the US. It is not a sign of immaturity. In fact, I’d say you’re doing exactly what you should be doing right now. Unless there are significant problems with them, let them help you right now, so when you do move you are in a great position.
Espers, if it’s not too personal, are you of Asian descent?
I only ask because I wonder why your parents would be so upset with your moving out. Perhaps it’s a cultural thing?
Anyway, this right here to me is a big giant red flag:
All one has to do is watch a couple episodes of Judge Judy to see why.
I recently just cosigned an apartment lease for my son and his room mate. I did this knowing full well, at some point, one of them is going to screw up and I’m going to be the one who winds up paying for it.
But oh well, it’s all part of the growing process I guess.
A 40K or even 20K debt is not one you want to start off your working life with. Look at it this way. You’re trading several years, at least, of home-buying savings for short term independence. Also, graduating and being able to use 100% of your income on living in the now, not paying for past pleasures, is going to look a lot more satisfying at that point.
I get the independence thing. I chose to leave a cushy ‘parent sponsored’ life to work 2 jobs and live in pretty meager digs with a hand to mouth existance and put myself through college. It was emotionally satisfying at the time & in retrospect. However, thanks to grants & savings and a couple of semester gaps to save up I didn’t graduate owing any money. With the rising cost of college & living expenses versus what a low level job pays, I don’t know if that’s a viable option anymore.
My oldest is almost 17. If he had an equation that working so well for him and was age appropriate and wanted to move out, I wouldn’t want him to do it either. I wouldn’t stop him, but I wouldn’t be happy, either.
The OP is 19ish, doing really well in first semester in school, holding down a job while doing it and saving money in the process. He has got something that working for him and is moving him forward in all the really important areas.
I my be biased, but at this age school should be #1 priority. What if classes get harder and he needs a semester to work fewer hours? What if he loses this job and gets one (because he has to) that conflicts with his schedule half-way through the semester? I’ve seen great students just get felled by circumstances beyond their control and seen how hard it is to recover, academically, from it.
OP sounds like he’s mature, goal oriented, level-headed and things are working well for him. Revisit this in a year, or when he goes to university.
After college, I moved back in with my parents for three or four years.
It wasn’t easy at times, but roommates often aren’t.
I was able to save a lot of money. They treated me like an adult, and I learned a good bit about living in the real world, while having the ultimate safety net.
When I finally moved out, I was making more than enough money to live on, and already had savings to fall back on. I was about to put down a very nice down payment on a house.
Not having debt at that point, and being able to save up for a while…really helped me get my adult life going in style, financially. I’m forever thankful to them for giving me the opportunity.
-D/a
Generally, school gets harder semester by semester, requiring more of your time and work. I’m sure there are a lot of people who will anecdotally say this wasn’t the case for them, but you have to consider that that is, at least, the idea behind your curriculum and it might trip you up later.
I think you’re on the right track, but it doesn’t sound like you are really in the best position to move out right now. Keep the living situation as-is and save up more money, and perhaps move out when you transfer to the university. I know it feels like forever, but it’s only a year and a half, and I think you’ll be in a better financial position then.
Depending on the layout of your house and/or your routine with your parents you might be able to achieve a little more independence just by discussing the “house rules” with them and adapting them. If you are still being treated like you are 13 or 16 or whatever, it might be time to see what you can change. Is there a finished basement bedroom/living space that you can use as yours, to give you a bit more privacy? Do you currently have a curfew that can be adapted? How do you contribute to the household, and can some of that change from “child” to “adult” contributions?
I lived at home through college, and graduated without debt. That was the trade-off, and it was worthwhile. It helped that my mother traveled for business a lot, and I had the place to myself for weeks at a time.
