I’d like people’s thoughts on a decision before me. I’m 30 and turning 31 in a month. Over the past year I decided to move home with my parents for reasons both personal and financial (I had lived on my own for 8 years prior to moving back in). It’s been 11 months. In that time I’ve managed to sock away some significant cash (30k). Now my work arrangements have changed and I will be a substitute teacher in the fall. This is great as I’ve now I have the chance to get a job in the city. My pay will now be reduced significantly though (I’ll likely earn 30-40k this year). If I get a full time job that number moves up to about 70K
I’m debating when would be best for me to move out and be on my own again. I could continue to live here with my folks and pay minimal rent. I anticipate being able to save 800-1000$ a month while doing so even when subbing. This saved money in theory would keep building towards a down payment on a home once I have full - contract. If I move out I would rent, that number likely drops down to about $0-200. Having the space to teach some private music lessons would boost it to about $600 though.
The only real benefit for me to move out is to have my own independence which would help my social life out (dating). Me and my parents have gotten along very well and it’s been a good relationship. I wouldn’t be able to afford a downpayment on a place without their help. I think I could handle living here 6-12 months more tops…after which regardless of my work situation I would want my independence back (life is short and I’m not getting any younger). I do feel that logistically and emotionally I’m quite ready to be back on my own again, but the economics of staying are great. I’ve heard rumour of a housing price re-adjustment in Canada soon, and I’m hoping I might be able to take advantage of it when it happens. The higher my downpayment the better. Just to be safe, I do want to stay here through October though just to see what income my subbing will really get me.
So I guess here are my questions. How in a rush / high a priority should I be in to own property? It’s something I want to get into. Is it worth it? I like where I live so when I get a job I’m happy to commit to staying here for 5-10 years. Would you stay for longer to increase a downpayment or just get back out there living independently? I’d like to meet someone, but of course living at home puts a damper on things. I have no debts right now so financially things are very stable.
I know there are no right or wrong answers, but I’d like to hear some thoughts. Thank you kindly.
Why do you have to own right away? If I were you I’d make moving out of my parent’s house a top priority and then rent an apartment while figuring out my next step. It sounds like you have a lot of stuff up in the air. Why be tied down to a mortgage?
I think it’ll be okay for you to stay with your parents as long as you need to (if you don’t mind, that is.) I think our society has a bit too much of a stigma against that sort of thing. You staying through October (at least) sounds like a good plan.
I already feel behind in the real-estate game, and I hate throwing money out the window on rent…I did it for 8 years. Things are up in the air right now yes…but my optimism is high I will get a job this year. There are spots opening and I have lots of teachers speaking highly of me and recommending me. I won’t buy until I have a full-time permanent contract. I’d like to own my own place and be a part of a home owning community (despite all the work). Ideally I’d like to get a townhouse. Rent is also really high where I live.
Yeah, the world is a buyer’s market right now. Rent is rather astronomical in a lot of places - I’ve compared it in my location and it’s actually cheaper to go with a mortgage on the same size living space.
My gut feeling is to stick it out a little longer if you can. The more you can sock away, the better. This goes without saying, but don’t plunk down every last cent from the bank account on your downpayment when you decide on a house. I’m only saying that because when my mind calculates costs, it likes to ignore emergency cash rules despite me knowing better. Then I remember and realize I have a few more months saving to do before I can do (x).
As long as everyone is happy I see nothing wrong with what you are doing. This will really get you a jump start when you decide to buy. If no one minds I say keep things as they are for now.
I could go either way, truly. My advice is stay on but set a firm date to be out by. That way everybody will be on the same page moving forward, you have a goal to work toward, and perhaps things will be more settled by that date! Wishing you good luck moving forward whichever you decide!
I am normally mostly against living with your parents - and I don’t see why you shouldn’t stay home a bit longer. Everyone is getting along, no one is complaining, and everything is hunky-dory. Save a bit more money.
I would also set a firm date, though, that’s a great idea.
Your probably sick of my advice by now, but I’d make steps to move out. I don’t think there is anything objectively wrong with your situation right now, but from your posting history it looks to me like you known for a long time that you are going to have to shake things up, but every time you decide to make a move you find some kind of justification for not leaving your comfort zone.
I’m going to predict that when you do make whatever physical or mental move you make, your life is going to get A LOT more fun, and a lot of the things that you currently dwell on/get moody about are going to melt away and suddenly seem completely irrelevant.
As a final thought, I know you are eager to buy a house, but I’d consider some of the logistics given that you are 30, single, and hoping not to be single for long. Things can move very fast at this age, and you could end up in something serious pretty quickly. Get some other opinions on this, because I’m not sure if I’m representative, but I would be a little intimidated by a homeowner at that point in my life.
I’d wonder what is going to happen when it comes time to move in together. Am I going to pay you rent that you pocket into your mortgage? That’s awkward. Or am I living as a guest in your house, with that nagging feeling of dependence and not pulling my weight? What if I work way on the other side of town out of commuting distance from your place? What if you like mid-century modern and I like Victorians? What if I just hate the area you live in? The other questions that would pop up in to my head would be that maybe you have grown a little too comfortable in bachelor life, maybe a little set in your ways. When you look into a date’s room, you want to see that they are stable and have their act together, but also that they have a few metaphorical blank spaces on the walls where you fit in. You want to see a story you can write together, not a story somebody has already written that you are going to be expected to slip seamlessly into.
Then again, some ladies will be attracted to the stability. I’d ask around, and make sure you have a backup plan for if the place you choose doesn’t suit your future partner.
I think it depends mostly on how you get on with your parents. Do they like having you there? If not, I would be working on getting out somehow someway. If you are helpful and they enjoy your company, you should stick it out for a bit. Saving up is a good thing and I would be hesitant to buy a home before my job was full time.
Sounds like you have a plan and are executing on it. Kudos for planning for your own home, but I would wait for a secure job and enough in the bank for both the purchase and a ‘ef you fund’ of 6-12 months expenses.
Do you have any siblings at home or is it just you? Are your parents retired or working? If the former, paying a meaningful rent is more important.
Clearly, I can’t speak for your payents… However, my stepdaughter lived with us for almost two years. I was surprised that utilities and food increased by almost $400/month. Since we are retired, it was a significant hit.
I never raised kids, so I had nothing to compare it to - but I was surprised at how tough it was on my wife (all three kids had been out for 10 years). Daughter really did not have a clue. Things improved greatly for my wife when daughter set a date to move and even more when she did move.
If daughter didn’t have a clue, why didn’t you let her know?
Quasimodal, this is a big point that communication is important. Make absolutely sure your parents are ok with this even if you think they are. I also give two thumbs up to picking a concrete date, given that your full-time job prospect does pan out. It’s easier for everyone when they know what’ll happen and when.
I think the question is, though, how long you want to go on with that (living with you parents)? What if you were in the same place after 6-12 months, asking the same question again. I think people tend to get used to a situation very quickly and a change of situation can sometimes be pretty hard and reluctant.
But you definitely shouldn’t rush things and take it easy.
I would say stay with your folks until you find a place that you really, really want to buy. I think it’s fine to date guys while living at home. I was in a similar situation a number of years ago, and if anything it enhanced the date, and you can really tell a lot about a person, as to the way he treats someone’s parents. Any guy that would be turned off by your living at home, would not be worth going out with. I would say stay at your folks house, until you find your perfect place. Sometimes it can take months to find real estate that you want to buy. In addition, don’t make the mistakes that I made, which is buying a place which got very little sun, and also near a street where you could hear the loud traffic.
I don’t know what the financial reasons for moving in with your parents were - but you could have been throwing presumably larger amounts of money away on house payments for a home you no longer have. And even if you weren’t in a situation where you were going to be foreclosed on, renting gave you the flexibility to move in with your folks when that became necessary/desirable.
Of course, as Macca26 noted, in a lot of places owning is now cheaper than renting so that changes the calculus there.
Living with your parents shouldn’t put a hamper on your dating life, unless you’re dating women who also live with their parents (in which case you find a nice cheap local motel). Otherwise, you know - go to her house.
Don’t use the excuse of “oh this will skyrocket my social life!” to blow money on a mortgage when you’re not ready, when you have a perfectly good arrangement set up that allows you to save a ton of money and isn’t that bad.
Because your living situation is not your only excuse for a poor social life. It’s not. (And I’m not saying you’re a loser or anything because lord knows I’ve got the most grim social life there is. I’m saying that temporarily living with one’s parent’s is not a huge factor in social life for anyone.)
I would stay with your parents at least until you have a full-time job under your belt. Then you could start looking at housing and you haven’t been spending your down payment on really high rent. Plus, by then you may have a certain someone who would want her input in the place you’d share. Best of luck.
Best of luck.