I mean, recommend me some. I will be extremely appreciative of all input, including from guys, but I might as well be upfront about the fact that I’m only posting this thread because of the whole “I always look at a guy’s shoes” thing. I figure I’ve been warned, so let’s hear how this works.
Caveat number one: yes, I should wear whatever’s my style and what I like. But I already know about what I think and here I am anyway. Number two: yes, I’m sure it may depend on a lot of other things you don’t know and I don’t seem to be telling you. Speak in generalities of 20-somethings of normal appearance and dress, income level, and proclivities. Number three: no, it really doesn’t matter. All right?
I need a good pair of shoes or boots to wear outside of work. I know how the dressy stuff works and I’m totally set there. I’ve decided I don’t fully get what I’m supposed to be doing when I’m wearing a pair of jeans, though. I’ve never really thought about it, never developed any kind of preference, but I really need a new pair of shoes. Any one pair seems fine enough in theory for somebody else, but then it seems goofy suddenly when I own it. Either I feel like they’re too fancy and I’m not dressed nicely enough for that, or it’s the opposite. I understand that if I were a clothes badass I could successfully wear oxfords or whatever to shitty bars, and that if I had eight different pairs of casual shoes I could make all kinds of important distinctions, but let’s just take my word for the fact that those things aren’t happening.
Let’s say I’m going to buy one pair of shoes and wear them to the platonic ideal of “out” in a casual setting. Jeans and a shirt. And let’s say I want the people who look at my feet to not decide never to have sex with me based on what they find there. What do you think? I don’t really want to make it a referendum on any one pair, since I want input. But to start with, do I want like a pair of Clarks boots? Sneakers? Goddam loafers? Show me some things, please. And thank you.
I don’t have a vagina but I’m reasonably savvy about shoes and in fact have a small side hobby business selling better and premium grade shoes at a discount.
There is no one size fits all re shoes that will cross all social scenarios. The key for you is to buy a good quality shoe that will cross a few scenarios. Not all women pay attention to men’s shoes, but for those that do the shoes you wear on a date or get together should be in very good shape. It’s also good to be little adventurous (without getting silly) with a good quality shoe as it shows you have confidence in your own style choices.
Unless a woman is a real brand maven she’s not going to ask if you are wearing Allen Edmonds or Rockports, the main thing that she will notice about your accouterments (and this goes for your clothes, watch and belt as well) is that they are in very good shape and are not worn and beat up.
Men tend to lets things slide and women are scanning for clues as to who you are like a Terminator. If your accessories are worn and tatty your presumed overall habits will not be well regarded. A professionally pressed shirt, even a casual shirt, will always make a good impression.
You need to select you own style. Jeans with a pair of sharp looking ankle boots is a good look, especially for urban scenarios. Loafers sans socks will work in beachy envronments. A pair of semi-casual / semi-dress Allen Edmonds like theseare (IMO) fantastic, but it would take a certain a man to carry it off. They are not for everyone.
These Thinks! are also (again IMO) just plain awesome and would go great with jeans or suits, but again it would take a certain confident attitude to carry it off.
In the end just be clean, neat, and use what works best for you.
What cut of pants leg do you usually wear (boot cut, relaxed fit, tapered, skinny jeans? etc).
How old are you?
Without this information, I’d say a nice pair of casual athletic shoes (like Pumas or Nikes) would be good if you’re under 35-40. Over that, more conservative boots or plain loafers might be more appropriate. If you go with a loafer or boot, try to match your shoes to your belt–black with black, brown with brown. I personally prefer brown shoes over black shoes from an aesthetic standpoint. Wallets are also more often brown than black (not that it’s a big deal). But whichever you like better is fine, nobody’s going to not fuck you based on their preference for black shoes! As long as you wear a matching belt, you’re good.
I’m reminded of a line I heard many years ago from a very beautiful and very intelligent female friend who was talking about a very average looking guy she was dating:
“His loafers may be old, run down, and horrible, but they’re Gucci.”
I personally think sneakers (with the exception of Converse all-stars) should only be worn when exercising or working outdoors (think mowing the lawn).
My husband (who allows me to dress him since he cares not what he wears as long as it is comfortable) wears something like this when he is wearing jeans.
He likes them because they slip on and off. I like that they are about as casual as sneakers but are not sneakers.
However, as many have said above, your age will be a factor in this. Since it looks like you are in your twenties, I would go with something a little more funky.
gallows fodder, I’ll be honest: I would wear the shit out of that first pair. Just not in the setting I’m wondering about.
I appreciate the advice, and I understand the inclination toward assuming a person who starts a thread like this is hapless enough not to know to wear a clean shirt. I get the idea I didn’t sell this real well, so to clarify, I’ve got that covered. I do all right. I really just feel like there’s this one gap where my perception may not be matching everyone else’s. Using the shoes you linked to as an example, I actually have a couple of pairs of Allen Edmonds and comparable oxfords. They’re incredibly nice, but they’re my work shoes. I would feel super-douchey wearing any of those to hang out with friends. Not that kind of crowd, and probably I’m not that certain man. This is what I’m here to hear about.
Also, I don’t want to cross all social scenarios, if that helps convince anyone I’m not outside the institution for the first time. If I have to class it up, I’m fine. If I’m going to the grocery store, also fine. I just want something that makes sense right in the middle.
(also this isn’t literally about getting people to have sex with me because of my shoes, if that is another thing I ought to say)
Thank you very much for this (thank you everyone, in fact). I’m basically vacillating between something very much like these two options. The only reason I didn’t start this thread with links very similar to those and say “which one” is that I wanted to try to get a bigger picture. So you think the Chucks are the way to go. I don’t know, man.
You are not following instructions! Platonic ideal! But OK. My price range is don’t say Gucci. I wear straight leg jeans that fit me. I’m 28.
Come on, people, let’s talk motherfucking fashion!
Are you near Mexico? (Just google ‘mexican long-toed shoes’ for a good time)
As everything else is subjective, I’ll say you can’t go wrong with casual boots. That might mean some nicer-looking hikers to you, it might mean low-key motorcycle type, it might mean full-on cowboy boots. The chukkas are not a bad idea either.
And don’t underestimate Skechers. Seriously, I’ve known construction workers who were wearing them 20 years ago because they were so damn comfortable and still looked nice. And Skechers has TONS of different styles now, and they aren’t that expensive, easily find plenty within the 50-80 range that you will wear the hell OUT and count it worth the cost even as you go get another pair.
Speacking of skechers, Skecher’s sneaker/casual shoe hybrids, that look like this-ish are good. They have a number of very similar but slightly different variations. My husband swears by 'em.
Converse tennis shoes are (IMO) only suited to someone of high school age, although a hipster/scenekid wearing skinny jeans could pull them off in their late 20s. Or if you’re going for the classic stoner look, they’re good. I think Pumas in particular have a cleaner, classier look.
Shoes like theseor theselook rather good with jeans. The latter is pretty much the shoe most of my male friends seem to own, as they are comfortable, classic shoes (you can pretty much always find them in stores). You can dress up the “Robey” type of shoe rather easily, too.
…first all why are you wearing jeans to a bar? I know they’re a staple, but for digging ditches or going to Walmart. Dump the jeans. Sneakers are for children or the gym…or Walmart.
2nd, one pair of shoes won’t cut it. You need at least two, most likely three or four to change when the seasons do. That means you don’t waste money on trends that go out of style when the hipsters decide they’re bored. You buy classic, that means nothing with a box/square toe ('cause they’re ugly) or super pointy one.
Since you want semi-casual, they are:
Loafers or high end boat shoes (summer/spring)
Bucks (summer/spring/fall) depending on color and sole
Chukkas(summer/spring/fall) depending on color and sole
plain toe lace ups (spring/fall) depending on color
single buckle monks (spring/fall) depending on color
‘Rough’ style shoes Edmonds has a whole line in this style. Not my taste, but they do appear to walk (heh) the line between dress/causal.
Any of these styles will work in a grocery store and at a bar, provided you wear the appropriate clothing/shine to complement or downplay them.
I’ve got a half-dozen pairs of Skechers slip-ons. Appropriate for all occasions, cheap, and chicks dig 'em (as in, my female friends and wife’s friends all ask their significant others why they don’t have shoes like them.)
As long as you wear a matching belt, you’re good.
(Just google ‘mexican long-toed shoes’ for a good time)