Second day in a row I’ve gone to the toilet here at work and found it smelling of smoked ham. WHAT. THE. FUCK?
Who started shitting ham sandwiches?
Not that I dislike smoked ham or ham sandwiches, it just freaks me out somewhat that I may be enthusiastically snuffling up some body’s exhaust fumes instead of real ham. And good grief, what am I going to say if someone catches me sniffing the air in the shithouse.
There are three possibilities.
I’m not sure I want to hear them, but fire away.
If somebody is magically shitting smoked ham sandwiches, would you eat one?
Probably not 'cause they’d be landing in the shitter and be all soggy and wet, even supposing I could get to them before they (the sandwiches) got flushed.
What if it looked like this and was shit/shat/shitted (whichever is correct) directly onto a plate at your desk?
It’s a good combination when someone else cuts the cheese.
Is it like the kind of smoked ham that’s glazed with maple syrup? If so, someone in your office may have maple syrup urine disease.
Ham is just ass by another name.
Yummmm, pork ass.
Maybe someone camps out for 5-10 minutes and brings their Arby’s hot ham and cheese in with them. I guess you could check the wastebasket for wrappers, if you care that much.
Someone could be sneaking a clove cig break. Those are all I’ve ever smoked, and when my brothers an their wives piled into a car to take a road trip, I gave one of my brothers a pack. He said by the time they got there, the entire car smelled like smoked ham, and the car smelled like it for DAYS. 
Then again, there’s a nifty e-cig place that has just the hugest variety of flavors I have ever seen, or even heard of, and one of their newest is BACON!
The warning for the BACON! flavor is that you want to smoke it outside, because the smell may be very difficult to remove from the carpets and drapes.
I should so order some of that, just to fuck with people.
So…where do you work? 
That’s ridiculous. Why would any sane person voluntarily suck hot, savoury, meaty smoke, with perhaps a hint of hickory… uh, excuse me for a minute…
Yeah…I just ordered some, lol. With no nicotine, 'cause I know I’m going to have friends who are going to want to take a puff for the novelty of it.
Does this happen after lunch? It’s possible that somebody has been eating at a bbq joint and the smoke smell has stuck to their clothes. In an enclosed toilet stall, it could build up in the time in takes to release an otter.
When we would drive to the bbq place near work at lunch, it was still clearly detectable in my car when I went to drive home at 5, even though I’d only been in the car for maybe 5 minutes on the way back to the office.
It would also permeate my wife’s hair. Mmm…smoked meat cologne…so sexy. I’ll be in my bunk.
Raises hand
I drew the line at pinching a whole loaf.
Is it possible that the smoked ham smell survives digestion? I know the papaya and some mushroom smells do.
Ask Cecil. I dare ya.
One time after a night of serious drinking in college, I made my bathroom smell like White Castle.
