Okay, dammit, let's talk about shoes off or on in the house

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

[QUOTE=cowgirl]
You shoe-leaver-on-ers: how do you put your feet up on the couch?

This is all very odd.
[/QUOTE]

What I mean is… If you came over to my house to hang out, I wouldn’t expect you to take your shoes off. Sit in the chair, recline the recliner, go out into the yard to the BBQ pit, go to the garage, all with your shoes on. I don’t immediately de-shoe when I get home. Later in the evening, after I’m finished with the day and am going to kick back, I kick my shoes off. If I was going to lay on the couch, I’d be in the relaxed mode where my shoes would be off for the day. I’m not going to lay on the couch, change the oil, lay on the couch, mow the lawn. Once my shoes come off, I’m not doing anything else that requires shoes. I have some house slippers I wear for short trips out into shoe territory if absolutely needed.

42

Where I’m from, people either leave their shoes on or take them off in their own houses as a matter of preference (most people take them off) but if you’re a guest in somebody’s home and you don’t know them well enough to, say, go looking for chips in the cabinets and snarfle through the fridge for salsa, you absolutely leave your shoes on. You wouldn’t even consider taking your shoes off - what are you, a dog? Until the thread that sparked the thread that sparked this thread I’d never have considered that I might be expected to take my shoes off in somebody’s home that wasn’t Asian - I’d have screwed up and had everybody looking at me funny and never known! And of course nobody would have been nice enough to tell me!

43

That’s sort of the way I am Duke

I’ll come home for work. Turn on the TV for maybe 1 hour while I visit with the dogs. All while maybe going to my car to get mycoffee cup, or some beer I bought or whatever I didn’t bring in on my initial trip. Then I might duck out on the deck for a few puffs on a cigar, take the trash to the shed.

Then I usually take the dogs for a short walk.

Once back I’ll probably climb up to the loft (very step wooden stairs) and get on the computer for a bit.

Once my Wife gets home later I may need to get/put her bike in her car, or some other such outside activity.

I’m likely as not cooking diner, and I’m more comfortable standing/walking/moving with some shoes on.

After that, I might take them off.

44

At home it’s shoes off but, except for extremey close friends, I’d be taken aback by any visitor removing their shoes as it would seem overly familiar and somewhat rude. When visiting somebody else I’d never consider taking off my shoes unless they specifically asked me to and then I’d probably avoid going there again. Anybody that concerned about a little dirt getting tracked in is not likely to be somebody I can be comfortable with.

45

I always take off my shoes when I walk in the front door, but I would never expect anyone else to (we don’t have company much, but I think I do keep my shoes on when we have guests). Our entire house (except the furnished basement) is hardwood, FWIW.

I never take my shoes off in someone else’s house unless I notice they do first and then follow by example (or at least ask as to which they’d prefer). As soon as any of my socks get even the tiniest hole, I throw them away, so I’m never worried about being caught shoeless and embarrassed.

46

[QUOTE=alice_in_wonderland]
When you get 4 feet of snow that thaws and freezes and thaws and freezes and a tonne of gravel and salt and kitty litter chucked all over the place to prevent people from breaking their necks on your paved walkway, your shoes get pretty disgusting even with the foot path there.
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Exactly. I live in the Buffalo area (which equals muddy, snowy winters, of course), and in the winter people take their shoes off when they come over. You’d be outside all day long trying to scrub the bottom of your shoes clean on a mat. I’m a shoes off while in the house person, no matter what the season, and prefer guests to do the same. We keep towels by the door for dog feet.

47

I mostly take shoes off, even when I’m at home; it just feels good to get my feet out of them. If I’m in a hurry, I leave them on, but then (as I mentioned in the other thread), I’m a slob at times.

When visiting, I ask. Most people I know take off shoes, but some don’t.

On occasions where we’re moving furniture around or something, it’s not necessary, but if I’m out rototilling in my friends’ yard or something, I take shoes off before returning to the house.

And that’s ignoring the whole “winter boot” issue. Many people, including myself, wear our winter boots to the office and then change into office shoes when we get there. I keep forgetting to get a couple of sets of house shoes to wear similarly in the house.

House party? The last one I went to, Jodi, there was a mound of shoes by the door. :slight_smile: Spike heels may look great, but personally I’d be a little worried about denting the linoleum or puncturing the carpet if wearing them in rooms that weren’t designed with them in mind.

I seem to recall that it was less common to take off shoes in the house when I was a kid. It seems to be something that kind of crept up on us Anglos.

48

Shoes off. Period. Shoes being worn in the house bothers me. It’s a germ thing for me - people spit / throw gum you walk through it, drag that whole ICK across my floors shudder.

The only person who was allowed to wear shoes beyond the door was my dad who had physical problems. Until he lost most mobility he always brought a pair of mukluks (slipper sock dealies) with and changed into them.

FWIW, in my family we’ve always been shoes off at the door.

49

We always take our shoes off in the house, and guests get their choice–most of them prefer to take them off. I learned it in Denmark, but it seems to be quite common around here anyway (Northern CA); practically everyone I know takes their shoes off.

50

[QUOTE=cowgirl]
You shoe-leaver-on-ers: how do you put your feet up on the couch?

This is all very odd.
[/QUOTE]

It gets odder still. I have no couch. I have a futon, a reupholstered antique dental chair, and a sky chair (http://www.skychairs.com/) in my living room. Things have just progressed that way and it works. Y’all have couches, huh?

51

[QUOTE=AudreyK]
We rent a carpeted apartment, and although the carpet is a grayish-sand color, the carpet at the entry is discolored with the dirt and grime of the previous tenant. (Classy place, didn’t change the carpets between tenants.)
[/QUOTE]

:confused: Would that be considered the norm where you are - to change the carpet between tenants? Or are you just saying that because it was dirty? Because I don’t think I’ve ever had new carpet in any of my (many) rented homes.

(in fact, now that I’ve got kids anyone wanting to give me new carpet better check with me first so I can beg them not to…but I digress!)

52

[QUOTE=Omega Glory]
Exactly. I live in the Buffalo area (which equals muddy, snowy winters, of course), and in the winter people take their shoes off when they come over. You’d be outside all day long trying to scrub the bottom of your shoes clean on a mat. I’m a shoes off while in the house person, no matter what the season, and prefer guests to do the same. We keep towels by the door for dog feet.
[/QUOTE]

See, this is interesting to me, because growing up in Buffalo, in the winter people wore boots and carried shoes, so that if you were going to a party, you wore your boots and brought your fancy shoes, and then put on your fancy shoes and wore them in the house. So I always saw this a little different than the Canadian thing, because it would be unusual for me to not be wearing shoes in someone else’s home – I would simply be wearing clean, dry shoes because I changed out of my boots in the foyer.

To present the opposite perspective, the first time I visited my grandmother-in-law in rural Oklahoma, one morning I was not wearing any shoes in the house. When she saw this, she said “Oh honey, you should put on some shoes JUST IN CASE A SNAKE OR A SCORPION GETS IN THE HOUSE.” I seriously almost fainted on the spot. I hadn’t previously realized this was a remote possibility in the 21st century, much less a normal possibility. I think I might have slept with my shoes on that night.

53

I’ve only ever lived in Mississippi and Los Angeles, but in my whole 47 yrs of living, I’ve only met one family (that I can remember) which asked you to take your shoes off inside.

Here, unless you were attending a backyard BBQ or other informal party, it would be considered odd and maybe even rude to remove your shoes at a social function.

However, if I lived in the Frozen North I’d probably do just like y’all do - and do the whole shoeless thing.

The house we’re in now has all hard flooring (80% is stained concrete). We also have a large dog who sheds. In a week’s time he probably sheds enough hair for me to knit up a whole 'nuther dog. :stuck_out_tongue: If we went around shoeless our socks/feet would be all hairy.

As for the feet-up-on-the-couch question: If a guest is close enough to the family to feel comfortable to put their feet on my furniture, they’re close enough to be comfortable removing their shoes first.

54

[QUOTE=Sunspace]
IHouse party? The last one I went to, Jodi, there was a mound of shoes by the door. :slight_smile: Spike heels may look great, but personally I’d be a little worried about denting the linoleum or puncturing the carpet if wearing them in rooms that weren’t designed with them in mind.
[/QUOTE]

I don’t wear spike heels. They hurt my feet. I wear stack heels, so the “you might damage the floors” argument is a non-starter, I’m afraid. :slight_smile:

55

I’m Asian, but have lived in the U.S. most of my life. When my friends come over I do ask them to take off their shoes. I do have a mental hangup about people wandering around the house in their dirty shoes; my floors aren’t spotless but there’s certainly no dirt or anything tracked in from the outside since we never wear our shoes around.

Over the years though I have gotten accustomed to Western-style parties. But most Indian parties, you take them off. if I ever hosted a cocktail-type party (fat chance!) I would most certainly expect people to keep their shoes on, and when I have people over that I’m not too familiar with I don’t ask them to take their shoes off.

My SO’s mother keeps cheap slippers by the door. Off with the shoes, on with the slippers. I think this is a nifty idea.

56

[QUOTE=Jodi]
I don’t wear spike heels. They hurt my feet. I wear stack heels, so the “you might damage the floors” argument is a non-starter, I’m afraid. :slight_smile:
[/QUOTE]
Stack heels? That’s good. Every winter, I see people tottering across icy sidewalks next to moving traffic while wearing spike heels, and I seriously wonder about their sanity. Sorry for the unwarranted assumption.

I don’t. Not enough room in the bachelor apartment. Of course, if I got rid of some of the bookshelves, maybe I could…

57

Shoes off please. Our new home has a tile walkway that opens into a tiled kitchen and dining area. Shoes are permissable in these areas a-la a party type situation. If you are going to hang out and use the other rooms, (we have a library, family and office/electronics room) then shoes off. I take it as an insult to my hospitality if you think that my floors are not clean enough to walk on barefoot. Further, good manners would dictate that you not track dirt onto my carpeted areas.

58

There might be something else too. Besides being more comfortable moving and walking in shoes (for myself anyway).

I have had foot problems.

Gout. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Horribly painful.

Plantar Fasciitis. This is a fun affliction. Micro tears in the ligament in the bottom of your foot. When your foot is relaxed as you sleep they begin to heal. The next day, as you walk they tear again. I came down with this when my Wife (the marathon runner) and I visited the Smithsonian. 4 days of walking and standing in line. I was pretty miserable. Thought I just had ‘sore’ feet so I stuck it out.

I’ve sprained both ankles. Badly. My toes turned purple from the blood leaching out of the torn tendons and muscles. I sprained one twice. My ankles are pretty weak now. No more volleyball for me. :frowning:

At the moment, everything is fine. But the fasciitis and the gout can come back. Wearing shoes has nothing to do with gout, or probably the fasciitis or sprained ankles. But I’m a bit sensitive about wearing shoes.

We go to a Christmas party once a year sponsored by a very sweet woman my Wife works with. About 35 people. Pot luck. Shoes off policy in the house. Like about half the people in this thread, the shoes on people sort of grumble about it.

Work mates remind each other quietly ---- “Remember, no shoes, might want to bring some slippers or something, or at least make sure you have warm socks on.”

I don’t have to wear shoes, but I prefer too. And I’m sure our host would be fine with it. She is very gracious. But I’d look like a jerk. As a guest, I abide by house rules.

Another thing that is a bit crazy about this party. As a kind of work sponsored event, it has an ending time. 35 people all crowd around the little mud room/entry all waiting their turn to get in there, share the bench and find their shoes. It can take 20 minutes just to leave.

Just seems silly for adults. It’s a floor. It’s carpet. It’s gonna wear out. Taking good care of it is fine. Take care of a good tool and it will last for ever. Take good care of a carpet and it’s still gonna wear out.

Shoes off in an oriental culture (or whatever the PC term is today) seems to be more about respect for deep, deep cultural influence and way of life. Shoes off to save a tiny bit of wear and tear seems to be a bit over the top.

59

And another thing!

:wink:

(this is a question that I didn’t want to get lost in the glurg that I just wrote).

When I don’t wear shoes in my house, say on the weekend before my morning shower, I find that I walk on the balls of my feet.

Sort of ‘tippi toe’. Keep my heel just off the ground. Maybe my heels are a bit sensitive, not sure, but it’s the natural way for me to walk with out shoes.

I’m 6’4” and 210 pounds. I’m sure it doesn’t look natural.

Anybody else do this?

60

Personally, as soon as I come home and sit down my shoes come off.* If we wind up leaving the house, I just put 'em back on. I’ve also got a couple pairs of flip-flops that I keep near the door, in case I need to take the trash out or something and I don’t want to bother lacing up my tennies.

Many of my husband’s relatives remove their shoes in the house, but then he’s Filipino. Most of our friends don’t, but it’s certainly not uncommon.

*followed shortly by the rest of my clothing. If it’s too cold to go starkers in the house, I turn the heater up until it’s warm enough. If I need to leave, clothes of course go back on. But then, my husband and I have neither kids nor housemates, and rarely recieve visitors.