I’m aware there are cultural differences. Some people think leaving your shoes on is respectful (one friend once explained that her Italian in-laws do this, because in their hometown, it’s considered rude to take off your shoes ~ best guess, because your feet might stink). Others (I include myself here), think it’s rude. But not rude because you should know better. Rude because you should have a look at what your hosts do, and follow.
I don’t always take off my shoes. If the floors are a mess and in need of a good scrub-down, by all means keep on your shoes. But if you come in my house, and the distinct smell of Pine Sol and/or Orange Glo is apparent, it’s not because I’ve purchased the matching pot-pourri accoutrements.
When planning my wardrobe for a party or dinner, if I don’t know, I ask the guest ahead of time what the rules are. If it’s a “no shoe” house, well I won’t plan to wear my sexy boots with the skirt. If it’s summer, and I don’t wear socks, I’ll plan accordingly (and make sure I haven’t gone out shopping for 6 hours prior in a “man-made material” [aka stinky feet] shoe). If it’s cooler out, I’ll minimally wear nylons and have my toenails polished.
Honestly, I don’t care if your feet/socks are presentable. Take your shoes off when I’ve just scrubbed my floors on all fours with a “Cinderella Brush”. Thanks.
I would never ask a guest to take their shoes off unless they were tracking mud in the house. First off, what if they weren’t planning on coming over or couldn’t change out of their stinky shoes? What if they are uncomfortable in bare or stocking feet? I know I am. I wear heels all the time and my pants are too long when I’m barefoot. What if a person has a disfigurement and doesn’t want to share it with the world?
Shoes should be at the discretion of the wearer, unless there’s a big pile of dog poo or something equally unpleasant attached to them.
I never take my shoes off on entering someone’s house unless I’m asked. I can’t bring any instance to mind, but I probably wouldn’t do it even if my host took his shoes off (again, unless he asked). It does seem rude to me to make yourself at home like that.
I admit, I’m even slightly bothered when guests of mine take their shoes off unasked. I’m not even sure why. This is the first time I’ve ever thought about it.
All things considered, it doesn’t seem like a really big deal. If the host really cares all that much, he should make it known to his guest(s).
I’m in the “When in Rome” category. I look at the host’s feet and follow suit.
Personally, in my own house, the first thing I do when I walk in the door is take off my shoes, but that’s because I really love being barefoot. I hardly ever wear shoes in the summer unless I’m going into a business or a “shoe-on” person’s house, and just keep a pair in the car for those occasions.
I have always been uncomfortable taking my shoes off when I am a guest. I think it says that the host values his carpet more than his guest’s comfort. I’ve played along once or twice at parties and invariably stepped on a melted ice cube or something and the wet sock feeling kind of ruins the evening. Also, if I’m wearing a suit, it just looks weird to not wear shoes. Heck, I’d rather go barefoot. But I was once told that that was rude too! No pleasing some people.
I will not take my shoes off when I enter a house unless I am specifically asked. And I always ask “why?” when told I usually comply but I don’t feel like coming back ( I’m sure that feeling goes both ways ).
I just wonder, why do people buy white or cream colored carpet anyway and then freak out about stains or smudges? It’s the FLOOR for crying out loud. The place where gravity tries to put everything, feet, dirt, and spilled red wine included.
I never wear shoes in the house, and I expect friends and family to take theirs off. If someone is uncomfortable I don’t push it. I usually ask if it’s ok to take my shoes off at someone elses.
I was brought up in a “shoes on” household; since having a place of my own, I have morphed into a “shoes off” person. Comes with having a fondness for Persian carpets.
Now, I find it very strange to wear shoes indoors. seems unhygenic to me somehow. Living in a climate which is winter half the time (and associated salt and slush) makes it simply more natural to leave outer footwear in the hall.
I have a selection of guest slippers, which seems to do the trick. I definitely ask guests to take off shoes, rather than getting annoyed with them - a simple “would you like some slippers?” seems to do the trick.
Not too long ago, a dear friend, on entering my new place for the first time, came in from the rain, walked past all the conspiciously lined-up shoes in the tiled foyer, took a couple of steps up the carpeted stairs, and then stopped, as if remembering something, and wiped her feet on them. I had steam-cleaned those stairs that day, in anticipation of her visit.
Some people’s notions of what’s polite wander a bit from the norm.
A guest, entering your house, is supposed to divine from the scent of Pine-Sol that they’re not allowed to wear shoes?
I’m cool with removing my shoes if asked upon entering a home. The one and only time that’s happened to me was a little weird, though; the couple who bought my old house asked me to come over and explain the electronic thermostat to them. They’d been in possession of the house for about four days at this point – which means I had lived in it until four days ago.
When they asked me to take off my shoes, I was a little dumbfounded, but I complied. But I really, really wanted to tell them “If you’re that worried about what I’m tracking in on this carpet, I should probably also tell you what my wife and I did in that corner right over there six months ago.”
It’s odd how differently people look at this. Me, I’m a shoes-on kind of guy. When I come home at night, I don’t take my shoes off unless I’m plopping down on the couch, or three hours have gone past and I think, “wow, why am I still wearing my shoes.” And when someone I’ve invited as a guest comes over, I have a little moment of surprise when they take their shoes off. When I go over to a friend’s place, I NEVER take my shoes off unless I’m specifically asked to.
My girlfriend, on the other hand, takes her shoes off at the door. Period. At her place, you take your shoes off at the door. If you don’t, she’ll politely, but firmly, ask you to make yourself comfortable by taking off your shoes. No big deal, the house rules are the house rules after all. But the first dozen times I went to her place, and even after a year, I still forget to take my shoes off.
It must have to do with the individual’s perceptions. To me, taking my shoes off indicates I’m making myself at home. In some places, that’s clearly not appropriate, so I think in my head I choose to err on the side of caution by keeping them on all the time. Conversely, if someone I’ve invited over is there for just a little while and the shoes come off, my first reaction is, “Well! Aren’t we making ourselves comfy in my personal space!”
So is the shoes-off position purely a cleanliness thing? Enquiring minds wanna know!
Do you ASK them to take their shoes off? If not, then you have nothing to bitch about. It’s not customary to take off ones shoes when entering a home in the U.S. - If you ask them and they refuse, then kick their ass out on the street. Otherwise, deal with it. Unless you’re posting from Japan or something, you really shouldn’t expect people to automatically remove their shoes. It is considered polite to wipe one’s feet on the doormat, however.
Are all animals considered filthy or just the really dirty ones. I’m curious.
How does walking on carpet with bare feet hurt your carpet?
I personally don’t like being barefoot most of the time because I tend to hurt myself. I broke a toe last summer because I didn’t have my shoes on. I’d take them off if my host asked me, of course, but I wouldn’t assume I should take my shoes off just because the host has his or hers off.
Should you come to my house you are free to do as you please, however, those who choose to remove shoes are issuing an invitation to my large cat to go toe hunting. It is his very favourite sport.
Don’t look at me like that, I issue warnings, everyone seems to think they will somehow be immune, well, on the first visit anyway, it generally doesn’t come up on subsequent ones.
I think the message is quite clear to anyone that walks into my home that I prefer that you take your shoes off–I have a large shoe rack right by my front door, plus white carpet (not by choice, it was here when we moved in–hopefully, that will change soon). Most of my guests get the hint, you know?
But, I’m not going to freak out if someone doesn’t take off their shoes (unless they’re obviously tracking in something). I have a carpet cleaner. If my carpet gets schmutz on it, I can easily pull it out and take care of any dirt.
That may very well be true. However, as I’m far more comfortable in my bare feet, and really, really hate wearing socks, slippers, or shoes in my house, I think I’ll stick with it. In my own house, my personal comfort > having to clean my carpeting more often.
As for the filthy animals, that’s also pretty inevitable occasionally when you have pets. The tradeoff’s well worth it to me. =)
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