Just accepted an E-vite for a housewarming which stated “No Shoes.” I know these people well, and they have new, beige carpeting, and having moved from a junky sort of house, they have now decided that shoes will not be worn in their new house.
I certainly appreciate that shoelessness helps keep a house clean, especially one with light-colored carpets, but I’m not sure I love the trend, which I’ve seen everywhere over the past several years. Being fully dressed is sort of an American tradition, I feel, and it’s something of an imposition to ask everybody to remove their footwear before entering a house.
I won’t buck the trend, of course – I have other friends with the shoeless rule and am used to it by now – but I feel it’s sort of pretentious and not very hospitable. Some of us have unattractive feet, or ugly socks, or need our arch support wherever we go. Others own vacuum cleaners and dark Persian rugs and don’t fret over a little carpet dirt after a party. What say you?
Currently living in a a place where no shoes indoors has been the norm for generatio ns. Personally, I like it. I feel more comfortable in my socks anyway, and it helps keep the house clean. That’s one area where I had no trouble going native.
As for the ugly feet and dirty socks thing: in Japan at least, good manners dictate that the host provide slippers for all guests, so most homes have a cabinet by the front door with at least a half-dozen guest pairs inside.
In my family, the two houses that are visited most often are mine and Mom’s.
She has a “shoes on” policy, as do the Moms of all my old classmates except one. I like being shoeless and would always be getting yelled at for being in my socks, as a kid (right now wearing big fluffy orange duckling slippers, which is as close to shoeless as you can come in the winter around here and not have your feet freeze).
Her house has wood floors in the bedrooms and living room, tile in the rest. Mine is tile.
Both of us have slippers for the whole family, winter and summer. This way you can let your feet out of the shoes without going barefoot. Have you ever noticed how good it feels just to change shoes? Going from ski boots to regulars feels so incredibly liberating, and by the time you do it you weren’t even noticing how heavy those two lumps of plastic are.
When I went to sleep over at some friend’s house as a kid (or they came to ours), the hosting Mom would ask “what size is she?” and if they could lend you slippers the right size you didn’t need to bring yours. Some of those moms remember many years later and will offer to lend you some slippers “to let them feet breathe a bit”
If I was telling people to take their shoes off, I would provide slippers.
Here in Hawaii we go barefoot indoors as a default. Or at least most of us do. Shoes on all the time is one of those mainland things that always makes me feel completely unlike being home. Socks would be better, but only half so.
Plus when we drop stuff we can just use out toes to pick it up.
I never really get offended at peoples’ feet (except for Uma Thurman’s ugly set of bear claws, thanks to Tarantino’s foot fetish) and, well, it just doesn’t bother me. In fact, I rather like to walk around sans shoes, and like to see other people doing it as well. I think it has a certain casualness and intimacy that makes me feel very much at home.
OTOH, the ex(wife) thought feet were hideously revolting and should be hidden at all times. :rolleyes:
The former girlfriend had the cutest feet, with kind of in-turned little toes with ridges on them where they folded in. (Hard to describe.) She was (mildly) concerned that it was a “deal breaker”; I thought they were lovely in a quirky, just-her sort of way.
I’d walk barefoot all day if I could get away with it. Take it all in stride (so to speak).
It wouldn’t bother me either way. Personally, I don’t wear shoes indoors if I can help it, and if one of my guest wanted to take off their shoes and curl up on the sofa, it wouldn’t bother me at all.
I don’t mind taking off my shoes and socks at other people’s request…as long as the house is warm! Nothing worse than having bare feet on freezing cold floors when you can’t turn up the heat.
The Euro thang is no shoes…and I like it now. It really keeps the house clean. How do I know this? Because there are the few occasions when I forget my wallet or phone in the bedroom and have to run in and grab them after I have my shoes on. That night I get home and Wifecat is yelling at me because there are now rocks and dirt, etc. in a line from the door to the bedroom. I really cannot understand how I lived like that before. Our house in the USA must have been filthy.
I think the “no shoes” policy is pretty sensible, actually. I’m a little confused as to why most of us Westerners keep our shoes on in the house. (Well, I do because it’s winter, and it takes forever for my apartment to heat up when I get home. And I have wood floors. But it does track lots of snow and crap into the house. And as soon as it’s warm enough, I’m in socks.)
A friend of mine has a no-shoes policy, unless you’re doing heavy work things where shoes are necessary. But I’m always a little self-conscious about it in summer. What if my feet are all smelly?
Not too many people wear shoes indoors in India. At home, most of the year I’ll be barefoot, and in winter I might have slippers or socks on. It’s the same in most houses I frequent. Generally speaking, I’ve seen strict enforcement of the no-shoes policy in 50% of the homes I’ve visited. Unlike our streets, our homes are usually very clean, so there are few hygiene issues. Keeping slippers for guests is pretty much unheard of hereabouts.
I don’t think it’s ever been a trend as much as it can be a regional thing. I grew up in a “no shoes” house, and prefer that rule in my own home. It does keep my house cleaner, especially in the days I had white carpet (not by my own doing, but the previous owner’s). I may loosen up a bit now that I’ll have hardwood floors in a matter of weeks.
I expect my guests to make themselves comfortable, period. I’d never presume to tell them to take them off nor would I offer slippers, then again no one in the house ever wears slippers so it’d be weird just to go get guest ones.
I take my shoes off in my closest family or friends’ homes, if I’m going to be there a good while, but think it’s incredibly rude to be told to do so. Maybe my shoes are an integral part of my outfit, or maybe my feet stink since I’ve been working in the factory all day or maybe I’m wearing lace-up boots and just stopping by for five minutes, to require me to take my shoes off is rude.
What are you more worried about, the comfort of your guests or your carpet needing vacuuming?
It’s one thing where the rule is already an accepted part of the culture, it’s another when you announce that your invited guests must take off their footwear.
I happen to like the no-shoes custom, but AFAIK it does not exist in Colorado.
There is no getting around the fact that no-shoes does keep the house clean.
Over the years in our house, I developed a family no-shoes rule which the boys and their friends cheerfully obey and husband blithely ignores.
Our home is strictly shoeless, and it’s a mistake to think that the only things riding into your home on the bottoms of people’s shoes are dirt and rocks. Saliva, feces, urine, pesticides, salt, gum, discarded food … I think it’s rather rude to assume your host would be delighted to see you bring all this into the house when you come to visit.
Neither vacuum cleaners nor dark carpeting will remove a series of deep scratches left by some shuffling oaf with rock salt stuck in his treads, and dark carpeting is the last place on which I want the dog piss to drain from your fashionable heels.
None of my guests have ever been offended at the invitation to get comfortable in a nice pair of woolen clogs kept in the foyer.
Even though I was born and raised in America, and have always lived in “shoes on” houses, I think it’s pretty friggin’ weird to leave your shoes on indoors.
It’s weird.
Shoes are for walking around on the ground, protecting your feet from dirt, sharp things, mud, dog poo, etc. You wanna bring that into my house? Grind dirt into my carpets?
It’s a “reverse” mentality for me. When I got to someone’s house I know, I always take my shoes off. If I don’t know them, I usually leave them on.
In my house, I always wear slippers.
I wish our whole culture was this way. If I didn’t think people would be insulted by being asked to take their shoes off, I’d have a pile of slippers by the door.
Although, I don’t like when someone comes over and walks around my house barefoot. I got this friend who doesn’t have feet, but rather two big virginia hams with 5 meaty protrusions on each one. He comes in and props them up on my coffee table. Granted, we’re usually swilling Bud and watching a fight, but still. . . who wants to see ham feet?
I’m of the “when in Rome” philosophy. Personally, I hate being shoeless in someone else’s house and I think it’s goofy when people remove theirs in mine, but shrug people seem to do it a lot. If everyong else is removing their shoes at the door, I will too, but it is not how I am most comfortable. On the one hand, I’m mildly put off by someone writing “no shoes” on an invitation, but on the other hand, it’s kind of convenient to know that ahead of time, so I can be sure to wear matching socks
Giving guests slippers - unless they are brand new slipper socks that everyone can take home - is ooky, IMHO.
My best friend wears a leg brace which requires that she wear a shoe, and a special one at that. Without the brace she’s not able to stand or walk any significant distances. If invited to a shoeless house for a party, she’d be stuck sitting in a chair the whole evening. If there was a buffet or an open bar, someone would have to serve her. She wouldn’t be able to mingle. It would have great potential for suckage.
I guess shoeless is okay if all of your friends are known to you to be fully able-bodied. Otherwise, they’re carpets. Get over it.
My parents waited for 14 years to get nice new carpets, but we had a cat, which meant hairballs on the carpet (and occasional other “gifts.”) When they finally had to put the cat to sleep, they got beautiful, soft light blue carpeting, and now they have a strict no-shoes rule for guests AND residents. It was really annoying to come home with arms full of grocery bags, stop in the foyer, sit down, put all the bags down, and take my shoes off, and then walk the bags to the kitchen. Even worse I might set the alarm, go outside, lock up, realize I forgot something, open up, deactivate the alarm, TAKE MY SHOES OFF, run to my room and grab my sunglasses, put shoes back on, set the alarm, and lock up again, but that’s how they do things.
You’re showing people your SOCKS. Get over it. We have a $900 carpet in the house. It’s not a welcome mat.
Besides, I don’t think anyone is arguing that a person with a handicap who would otherwise be forced to sit down all night should have to take their shoes off.
do you wear shoes in your own house? wouldn’t that leave you with footwear nearly all the time?