If you have quality carpet or hardwood, it’s important to wear socks, rather than go barefoot. The natural oil in your skin has a cumulative impact on carpet fiber and a flooring expert told me that it can harm the finish on wood floring, over many years.
Europeans, I believe, generally do not go barefeet. I believe socks on is preferred. I know the MENA has a thing about shoes AND showing the underside of one’s feet, so I suppose socks on is standard there too.
Y’know, I don’t recall any of my friends or relatives ever having a “shoes-on” policy in their places. It’s such an automatic reflex for me to kick my shoes off when entering a house, I don’t even really think about it until hours later.
Probably a Michigan thing–much of the year it’s muddy or snowy so most people take their shoes off when they come in to avoid tracking stuff all over their house.
Growing up (Korean household) I never wore shoes indoors. It was shocking to me to go to my friend’s house and see them just go straight on in without taking them off. I always took mine off anyway because I thought it was the normal thing to do and my friend, since he lived there, was exempt from those rules. I doubt i’d ever demand people take off shoes when coming in to my house, but it does suprise me when they don’t. I never realized until this thread that in some places people actually expect to wear shoes in the house.
To me there is little difference between this attitude and expecting the hostess to serve on paper plates and offer plastic cutlery and drinkware. I mean, you w ouldn’t want to use ‘used’ stuff from her home. It’s rude. And it would automatically exclude you from dining in any but the cheapest restaurants.
Besides, my gag reflex is triggered more forcefully by the prospect of my toddler sitting at your Round-Up encrusted feet than by the ooky-ness of wearing slippers that have touched the socks or skin of another.
The way I was raised, no shoes is the norm…in your own house. You don’t go taking your shoes off in someone else’s house without implicit or explicit permission, any more than you’d go rooting around in their fridge. With close friends and family, the “make yourself to home” thing is understood, but other people might not want you treating their home like your own.
I’m not really sure this is a trend either. Here in Western NY no shoes is usually the policy, since the ground and the walk are often wet from snow. When the snow melts, the ground and walk are muddy and soggy. It really doesn’t leave much time for walking in the house with your shoes on.
I always take my shoes off, my house or anyone else’s.
My grandparents always bring their own slippers.
My mom brings a pair of “inside” shoes, and even asks permission to wear those (our house is still pretty new)
We are both Asians. Our house is always shoeless.
However, I would never dream of asking Americans to remove them. They see the shoes by the entrance. If they’re so inclined, they’re welcome to remove them.
Indians/Chinese though, better take them off. 
No need to get offended here, Farmwoman. Just a difference in perspective. To me, borrowed slippers are more like borrowed underwear. And FTR, I am a frequent shopper in thrift stores, and I don’t have a problem with used clothing or used anything else for that matter - because I buy it, take it home and clean it. And having worked in restaurants for years, I’m pretty secure with the cleanliness of “used” dishes. As I said, I’m not completely comfortable in my stocking feet in someone else’s home, but I’m a polite guest and I would take my cues from the host/hostess’s preference.
As it happens, I’ve had recent foot surgery and at the moment my feet are pretty disgusting on a visual basis. I’d prefer to have some warning that I am expected to remove my shoes, as I would prefer NOT to expose others to the gore-fest of my bloody feet leaking through my socks. Under normal circumstance, of course, this is not the case, but right now I’m a little self-conscious about it.
Weird. Ja, here in Minnesota, where it’s icky right now (everything’s melting: 50 degrees F!), not taking my shoes off when I entered someone’s house would be downright rude. There’s too much slush and dirty snow that I walk through to make me even consider it.
Course, even when it’s summer I take my shoes off at someone else’s house (or my own, indeed). I think it’s just polite. I might make an exception and leave them on if a) I was wearing sandals and b) I knew that the soles on said sandals were pretty clean.
I agree with Snickers. I grew up in Minnesota and our family, friends, and neighbors all had the “no shoes” policy. It was pretty much unspoken. I tend to plan ahead and get new socks if I know I’m going to a party as well.
My mom has always knitted slippers ever since I can remember for those that wanted them when they visit and she gave 'em to the guests as well. (So we didn’t recycle them).
Unless the floor in the house was unsafe (like they were doing construction or glass was broken on the floor), I’d never even think of wearing shoes in a house.
I wouldn’t be offended. As others have said, a lot of icky stuff gets brought in to the house on shoes so I can certainly see why people want to enforce a no-shoes policy. I think it’s better that they warned you ahead of time so you could bring some slippers or nicer (and matching!) socks than springing it on you at the door.
I usually take off my shoes when I get home, but if I’m carrying groceries from the car and have to make multiple trips or if I’m just running in and then back out, I won’t take my shoes off. Just whatever’s more convenient. Besides, I have cats so I know they’re tracking stuff from their litterbox all around so I have no illusions about the cleanliness of my carpets.
Sorry, but my $900 carpeting is not worth more to me than my guests’ comfort. Under NO circumstances would I ask someone who was not comfortable shoeless to remove their shoes. Whether my guests remove their shoes or not at the door is up to them, and even though I may not be personally comfortable with their choice, THEY ARE MY GUESTS.
One other thing to consider: if the gathering is informal and casual, I can sort of see the “no shoes” thing on an invitation - even though it really seems to me to mean “we have floors we like more than you”, but it also sort of implies a “make-yourself-at-home” mood - which IS friendly. On the other hand, if the gathering is somewhat formal and I expect my guests to show up dressed nicely, I would assume that their shoes are part of their outfit. Nothing quite as uncomfortable-looking to me as a lady in a sequined cocktail dress and stocking feet, or a gentleman in a suit, tie and socks.
I don’t mind removing my shoes in other people’s houses. Most of the time I’m wearing Birk clogs anyway.
People sometimes ask us if they should remove their shoes at our house. As if! Most of the floors are painted plywood with rugs from Menards covering the big areas. And the DOGS sure as hell don’t wipe their feet before they come in!
Forgot to add: We had an open house for Christmas Eve, and I spent the last few days before it cooking, cleaning, etc. And I wasn’t wearing any shoes. God were my feet killing me. The morning of the party I made sure to put shoes on, and it was a lot better.
So there’s a reason to wear shoes in the house – proper foot support.
Argh. I’m trying really hard to be open-minded and all about this, but, dammit, something deep in side just says that it’s rude to ask people to take off their shoes.
It’s a floor. It’s there to be walked on. It’s expect to get dirty and be vacuumed or swept and mopped.
How stupid is it to spend a thousand dollars on an light-colored textile whose purpose is to be walked on? Geez! I mean, if you inherited it from a previous homeowner, sucks to be you. You could put down a nice rug or something in high traffic areas, I guess. But if you installed it yourself, what were you thinking? That you wanted an ongoing housecleaning nightmare? That you were going to get some kind of an adrenaline high about constantly worrying about people tracking mud or spilling?
If you want to have your family and your frequent, almost-family guests take off their shoes to cut down on everyday dirt-tracking, that’s fine. If it’s slushy or muddy outside, polite guests will wear boots or galoshes and bring along a pair of clean shoes. But to have a blanket no-shoes policy, so that you ask other grown-ups who come to your house for a social occassion to remove their shoes so that you won’t be troubled by having to clean up after their horrible, horrible shoe-dirt just strikes me as rude and inhospitable.
I was momentarily swayed by the we-have-little-kids thing, but then I realized, these are the same kids who you take outside to play where they inevitably eat dirt and put bugs up their noses. Your kids are going to be encountering dirt anyway. Me having the termerity to walk across your floor while wearing shoes is not going to give your dear squiggly wuggums the Plague.
I personally don’t get offended when people ask me to take off my shoes, but it’s not a request I could ever bring myself to make of anyone else. It’s totally a cultural thing, I guess, and the culture is shifting, but currently, for now it’s not obvious that you’d have to take off your shoes while visiting. What if your guest has a stain or a hole in his sock that he would be embarassed to show? Or a problem with his feet the he doesn’t necessarily want to display to the entire room? But even in the case of the OP, where you’re warned ahead of time, nope, sorry, I just can’t get behind it.
This is kind of my take on it, too. With my friends, who are predominantly American, it’s just not expected for you to take off your shoes. My husband’s friends, on the other hand, are predominantly Indian, and the first thing that goes as soon as you walk into their home is your footwear. We rarely wear shoes in our home, even when having guests over, so most people automatically do what we do; however, I could never imagine demanding my guests remove their shoes upon entering. If they’re not comfortable with their shoes off, I would never expect them to remove them anyway. And it seems weird to send out an invitation stating “No shoes;” however, I guess that gives guests the opportunity to wear a decent pair of socks or do their toenails or something.
I’ve heard that Americans keep their shoes on indoors, but I didn’t really believe it until I read this thread. I mean, seriously.
Do you really walk straight in? Isn’t the house extremely dirty all the time? What about when you’re lying on the couch? Do you keep the shoes next to your bed when you’re sleeping, and on the floor of the bathroom when you’re taking a shower?
I’m sorry. It’s culture shock. The idea is just seriously strange to me.
It’s strange to me and I was raised here.
My M.O. is typically to walk in and ask, “should I take my shoes off?”
Most people say, “oh no, it’s fine.” Though, I prefer to take them off.
It’s insane to be offended when asked to take your shoes off. It SHOULD be the norm.
Do you own a house?
We bought the house and we spent several thousand dollars refinishing the floors. They’re made out of pine and were installed in 1920 and are totally original.
We bought real carpets that don’t let dirt through, to protect them.
I’m not going to end a friendship over someone scratching the floor or tracking mud across the carpet, but showing a little respect for their host might be nice.