Okay, dammit, let's talk about shoes off or on in the house

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
121

[QUOTE=Indygrrl]
Wow, so not one speck of dirt anywhere on your carpet? I am shocked that anyone could manage that, shoes or not. My house is not a museum and I don’t treat it like one. I have a husband, a child, two stepchildren, two cats, and a dog. To expect that it’s going to stay perfect is unreasonable. Is it absolutely sparkling clean? No. But it’s far from a pigsty. I still vaccuum and clean and even get the carpets cleaned a couple times a year. I’m not going to lose sleep over a few germs on the carpet.

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Well, my home certainly isn’t a Cleanroom. Also, it easier for me to maintain a level of cleanliness because I have no kids or pets.

[QUOTE=Indygrrl]

Even if they didn’t know that was your rule? Do you have a sign at the door telling them to take 'em off? Obviously different people have different ways of doing things. I don’t think someone who kept their shoes on would be intentionally trying to insult you. And if you asked me why I kept mine on I’d tell you it’s because I don’t want my feet to get cold. Is that unreasonable?

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Well that’s just it. Everyone I know knows that’s the rule. It’s the rule at their house too. If you were at my house without your shoes on and your feet were cold I would turn up the heat or give you as blanket.

True, I can’t expect EVERYONE to know that that’s the rule and I know that I shouldn’t take it as a direct insult if they try and wear shoes in my house.

Still, if someone shows up at my house and attempts to wear their shoes inside without noticing the shoeless state of its occupants or without at least asking, well, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be able to help but wonder if they were born in a cave.

[QUOTE=Indygrrl]

I can’t fathom putting my carpets above family and friends. It is possible that he had a reason for not wanting to take them off, such as any of the reasons listed in this thread. At any rate, I can’t see making an issue of it.
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He knows the rules. He grew up in the same house I did. The only people who get to wear shoes in my house are grandparents or people who need to wear specific footwear for health reasons. I read somewhere in this thread or another about a gentleman who lost his leg in the war and had a special leg/shoe assembly. That guy can wear his shoes in my house. Everybody else, shoes off.

My Dad was required to wear shoes in his house to treat a condition. He went out and bought brand-new shoes to be worn strictly indoors.

122

[QUOTE=featherlou]
Being Western Canadians (I assume), they probably had to have taking their shoes off in situations like this trained out of them. :smiley:
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Most likely :smiley:

123

[QUOTE=OpalCat]
I’m the opposite. My feet area always hot. I sometimes soak them in cold water just to cool off. They don’t get sweaty, in fact they’re abnormally dry (I have to put lotion on them regularly or they’ll crack) but they get hot. If I keep shoes on my feet it’s like walking around with little ovens on, and it’s extremely uncomfortable–it makes me hot all over to have hot feet. If someone was uncomfortable with me taking my shoes off at their house, I doubt I’d really ever spend time there, because it would be so uncomfortable for me.
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You are lucky! Cold feet are the worst. And it takes forever to get them warm once they are cold. Right now it is about 70 degrees in my house and my feet are like ice because I’m barefoot. I am warming up socks in the dryer right now to put on.

And if you came over to my house you could take your shoes off. I wouldn’t want to make you sit there with hot feet. That’s the same consideration I’d want if I was somewhere and my feet were cold. Blankets (unless it’s an electric one) and socks do nothing for me in the winter. It’s either body heat or leather that does the trick. So unless you want me to put my cold feet on your leg (or on your hot feet!) you should probably let me keep my shoes on. :smiley:

124

[QUOTE=Indygrrl]
You are lucky! Cold feet are the worst. And it takes forever to get them warm once they are cold. Right now it is about 70 degrees in my house and my feet are like ice because I’m barefoot. I am warming up socks in the dryer right now to put on.

And if you came over to my house you could take your shoes off. I wouldn’t want to make you sit there with hot feet. That’s the same consideration I’d want if I was somewhere and my feet were cold. Blankets (unless it’s an electric one) and socks do nothing for me in the winter. It’s either body heat or leather that does the trick. So unless you want me to put my cold feet on your leg (or on your hot feet!) you should probably let me keep my shoes on. :smiley:
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Oh heck I don’t ask people to take off their shoes in my house, you can keep ‘em on. (Though I also have a space heater and there is always a blanket on the couch.) I agree with you–cold hands and feet are the worst. While my feet are usually hot, they also do get very cold sometimes–I blame my craptacularly low blood pressure. The only way to really warm them up is to soak them for at least 10 minutes in hot water. Any shorter length of time and the “soaked in” cold just seeps back out even though the skin is temporarily warm. My main solution to not getting cold feet however, is sitting on them. It’s my natural inclination anyway*. I am sitting on my feet a good 90% of the time that I’m sitting down. I have a nice big warm butt, does a good job keepin’ the tootsies warm.

*There is a yoga position, Supta Vajrasana (Fixed firm pose) that my yoga instructor had trouble getting into (she couldn’t actually get all the way down). Because I always sit on my feet, this is one of the most comfortable poses for me.

125

I put on shoes when I get dressed in the morning and do not take them off except for showers or bed. My feet simply hurt otherwise. Slippers or socks do not offer the sort of support I need. (I have Morton’s neuroma.)

I grew up in a shoes-on house. My husband takes his shoes off whenever he can, and puts on slippers.

126

[QUOTE=jsgoddess]
I put on shoes when I get dressed in the morning and do not take them off except for showers or bed. My feet simply hurt otherwise. Slippers or socks do not offer the sort of support I need. (I have Morton’s neuroma.)

I grew up in a shoes-on house. My husband takes his shoes off whenever he can, and puts on slippers.
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Same here. We don’t wear slippers. We whip off our shoes when “couch time” has officially taken over our bodies. Other than that, it’s shoes, baby. I mean, what if you have to walk down to the mailbox or in the mosquito-y grass?* It’s a fate worse than death!*

127

What a wonderful host you must be.

If you ever come to my house, I will insist that you keep your shoes on. Makes it easier to kick your ass out the door.

128

[QUOTE=enipla]
What a wonderful host you must be.

If you ever come to my house, I will insist that you keep your shoes on. Makes it easier to kick your ass out the door.
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Haha, come on now, don’t get excited.

It’s a rule everyone I know complies with. Everyone I know takes their shoes off in everyone else’s homes. Its a given. Just a cultural thing I guess.

129

As long as we are on this topic, I am not a feet kind of guy but is it acceptable to require guests to remove other selected articles of clothing when they visit? If so, is it fair to require it of some but not others?

130

[QUOTE=enipla]
What a wonderful host you must be.

If you ever come to my house, I will insist that you keep your shoes on. Makes it easier to kick your ass out the door.
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I find the “rule” to be offensive. I put up with it with one relative because she has snow-white carpeting. But I don’t live in a clean room or a museum. Unless you are making a detectable “mess” with your shoes, I would no sooner ask you to take your shoes off than I’d ask you to take your pants off. After all, who knows where you’ve been sitting?

131

[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
I find the “rule” to be offensive. I put up with it with one relative because she has snow-white carpeting. But I don’t live in a clean room or a museum. Unless you are making a detectable “mess” with your shoes, I would no sooner ask you to take your shoes off than I’d ask you to take your pants off. After all, who knows where you’ve been sitting?
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Ya, this issue is one of social convention. If I wore my shoes in your house I would be mortified that I was insulting you and soiling your house. Really.

132

[QUOTE=Shagnasty]
As long as we are on this topic, I am not a feet kind of guy but is it acceptable to require guests to remove other selected articles of clothing when they visit? If so, is it fair to require it of some but not others?
[/QUOTE]

In a lot of places it’s considered rude to keep a hat on indoors.

133

[QUOTE=OpalCat]
In a lot of places it’s considered rude to keep a hat on indoors.
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All public places in America prior to 1980, I’d say. It seems to be one of those “I’m doing it so it’s no longer a rule” kind of things. My husband is the worst offender.

134

[QUOTE=Shamozzle]
Haha, come on now, don’t get excited.

It’s a rule everyone I know complies with. Everyone I know takes their shoes off in everyone else’s homes. Its a given. Just a cultural thing I guess.
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Yes, I would like to apologize for my last post.

I would certainly not kick any guest out of my house, as I’m sure you would not either.

135

Of course you wouldn’t. Without shoes on it hurts the toes! Much better to get rid of guests with a good shove. :wink:

136

[QUOTE=enipla]
Yes, I would like to apologize for my last post.

I would certainly not kick any guest out of my house, as I’m sure you would not either.
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Lol, yea no problem :slight_smile:

It’s funny though how polarizing something as seemingly innocuous as “shoes” can be.

Overall, I’m surprised. For years I’ve watched TV and thought, “TV is so fake. Look, they don’t even take their shoes off in the house.” But now, I know that TONS of people wear their shoes in the house. Who knew? Not me…

Shoes off in the house: Is this a Canadian thing? A Western Canadian thing? Are there any North American regional variations on this?

137

I have a tiny sign reading, “Thank you for removing your shoes.”

Should any guest hesitate, an immediate, “Oh, that’s okay!”, will be uttered.

I have spent plenty of time traveling in Asia, plus I’m a Canadian. In addition, I like taking my shoes off and wear flip flops as late into the fall as is possible.

Throughout the summer I am mostly barefoot in my home. I cannot imagine anything more lovely that the feel of (swept and free of shoe trackings) smooth warm hardwood underfoot. It is casual and comfortable to me, like being at the beach. I also often sit on the floor to sort things or read newspapers. If shoes were worn in the house it would seem like sitting on a public sidewalk to me.

So shoes off, cleanliness issue, love the feeling. Guests and exceptions freely made, however know now, as soon as you leave my house, I will sweep so I can once again go gloriously go barefoot.

138

As someone who hates shoes and never wears them at home, I’m acutely aware that removing ones shoes is not considered polite behavior when a guest in another person’s home. I’m not sure why, but it’s just not done. I wish I knew people who wanted your shoes off in their houses.

139

I usually ask if I’m at someone’s house I haven’t been at before “do you mind if I take my shoes off?”

140

[QUOTE=Shamozzle]
…Shoes off in the house: Is this a Canadian thing? A Western Canadian thing? Are there any North American regional variations on this?
[/QUOTE]
This thread has me convinced that while it may be regional or cultural in some cases, it ain’t in others.

Okay. We all know that what we do in our own houses is subject to personal preference. The het-up reaction seems to be guest-related. Clearly, there are two legitimate positions here. To sum (some mutually exclusive):

Pro shoes-in-the-house:
[ul]We think it’s rude to take off our shoes in your house. Our feet might be stinky or ugly or otherwise offensive to you.[/ul]
[ul]We’re embarrased to take off our shoes in your house. It makes us feel undressed/it messes up our outfits.[/ul]
[ul]We’re worried that if we take off our shoes in your house, our feet/socks will come into contact with something we’d rather not step on.[/ul]
[ul]We need to wear our shoes 'cause our feet get cold or hurty when we don’t.[/ul]
[ul]We don’t want wear your slippers instead of our shoes because we will make your slippers stinky/someone else might have made those slippers stinky already.[/ul]
[ul]If you take your shoes off in our house, we think that means you’re being a little too familiar or maybe disrespectful here.[/ul]

Pro shoeless-in-the-house:
[ul]We think it’s rude to wear our shoes in your house. Our shoes might be dirty or contaminated or otherwise offensive to you. [/ul]
[ul]We’re embarrased to wear our shoes in your house. It makes us feel overdressed.[/ul]
[ul]We need to remove our shoes 'cause our feet get hot or claustrophobic when we don’t.[/ul]
[ul]We invite you to wear our slippers instead of your shoes because we believe that’s a polite accomodation.[/ul]
[ul]If you wear your shoes in our house, we think that means you don’t care about making our house/carpet dirty (or damaged by stilletos or treads).[/ul]
[ul]If you wear your shoes in our house, we think that means you’re uncomfortable here.[/ul]
Is that about right? What did I miss?