Okay, I need Latin help (adult content).

So, I’ve written a short crossover fanfic for Twisting the Hellmouth (shut up, haters) in which Dawn (younger sister of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer) insults House MD (our favorite high functioning sociopath) by saying, in Latin, “your mother paid your medical school bills by [euphemism for giving oral sex to] diseased slaves in a public forum.”

The thing is, the sentence structure is waaaaaay too complex for my pitiful infantile skills. I can parse Latin roots, and that’s about it. I appealed to an acquaintance for help, but he said he couldn’t help me. I think the subject matter offended him. I have a request out to my brother, since he took high school Latin, but he hasn’t touched it in 20 years.

So far, piecing it together from online translators, I have:

Vestri mastris pensus pro vestri schola [euphemism] per crustulum pro aegus mancipiem in publicus forum.

I know Latin is a lot looser on order of words because the word endings reflect grammar and syntax, so I’m not too worried about that. Of course, any corrections to make it read better are very welcome.

The euphemism I’m looking for - I swear to Og, my brother told it to me in high school, 20 years ago - means something like “strips the bark off trees”. I’m pretty sure the word was “glaubero”.

However, none of the online Latin dictionaries will admit that such a word exists, and when one of them does conjugate it for me, I’m staring at a wall of text, and it’s very, very clear I don’t know the first thing about conjugating Latin verbs (other than if you’ve had some Latin, it will return if a Centurian puts his sword at your throat).

Can anyone help a writer out? The story will survive if I put it in English and state that she says it in Latin, but it would be so much cooler if I can put the actual Latin in and provide the English translation in a footnote.

The work you’re looking for is glūbō -ere - peel; strip the bark from; rob.

But I don’t see anything that suggests its the kind of euphemism you’re looking for. I can check out J.N. Adams when I get home.

Another part of the problem is that the line you’re working with is kind of awkward even in English. But here’s a stab:

Māter tua pēnsiōnem collegiī medicī meruit fellandō servōs morbidōs in forō.

I’ll see if my brother can remember where he found that verb.

And unless I see any other suggestions, I’m going with yours.

BTW, how are the long e, long ii, and long i pronounced?

From what I understand, i is pronounced “ee”, e is pronounced “eh”, and ii is pronounced “ay”, but I’m sure I’m wrong on at least one of them.

I think you need something shorter and pithier, e.g.:

Māter tua fellat in forō.

(Your mother sucks in the furum)

a = like the ‘u’ in ‘butter’
ā = like the ‘a’ in ‘father’
e = like the ‘e’ in ‘bet’
ē = like the ‘ey’ in ‘they’
i = like the ‘i’ in ‘pit’
ī = like the ‘i’ in ‘pi’
o = like the ‘o’ on ‘dog’
ō = like the ‘o’ in ‘go’
u = like the ‘u’ in ‘put’
ū = like the ‘u’ in ‘cute’

You know, more or less.

And Giles is right. Best to keep it simple.

Well, hey, at least I know the proper plural for penis! “Penes”.

Except, if it’s the object of fellat, would that change the ending? Or does fellat imply that its penes being sucked?

Māter tua pēnsiōnem collegiī medicī meruit fellandō servōs morbidōs in forō.

In the above sentence, I believe the “by sucking slaves” part would have to be “fellandIs servIs morbidIs” (the capital I’s are supposed to be I’s with a long mark (macron) over them), assuming that ‘fellare’ is a transitive verb. The only dictionary I have that lists whether a verb is transitive or intransitive doesn’t include this word

Gerundives/Future Passive Participles don’t take separate accusative direct objects. The word that looks like the direct object in English is the same case as the gerundive /FPP.

If the verb is intransitive / takes an indirect object in Latin, it would be “fellando servIs morbidIs”

FWIW, I do teach Latin…although I definitely could be wrong…

also, “collegiī medicī” (“of medical college”) could be changed to “collegio medico” (“for medical college”)…(dative of purpose)

I can see why it took a sword and the threat of death to get Brian to figure his slogan out.

“Those who are called the Romans, they go the house?”

Since someone already beat me to the “Romani eunt domo”, I’ll cover this. Repeated vowels are always pronounced as repeated vowels. You take the sound that the single vowel makes by itself, and you make that sound twice. So i is pronounced “ee”, and ii is pronounced “ee ee”.