Okay, we know Jessica Fletcher was a serial killer.

Cafe Society
1

In a world where actors can cross franchises by simply passing an audition, and a dead French/Portuguese NY cop can become the first Hispanic POTUS, I finally figured out why a model midwestern dad abandoned his family to become a small town sheriff in New England and the stooge of a serial killer.

So now, Straight Dopedom no longer has to wonder “What the hell ever happened to Chuck Cunningham, Opie Cunningham’s older brother?” That Fletcher woman “disappeared him” and Howard was probably in on it.

Or could I be overly suspicious? :dubious:

2

Accepting your premise… Shouldn’t Columbo have been able to find his estranged wife’s lost starship at some point?

3

Why didn’t Cmdr. Adama just send Crockett and Tubbs to arrest the Cylons?

Why couldn’t Simon Templar’s cousin find a nicer place to live than a trailer at the beach?

4

Ah, he was happy reading kissing stories to his grandson.

5

Well, Sonny probably got “confused” while spending all that time hanging out with Cheech.

6

Why couldn’t Captain Kirk just order Spock to beam the creature on the wing back to the Enterprise for study, saving the airplane in the process?

7

Because he was too busy putting on latex masks and running con games on Syndicate bosses and terrorists from countries nobody ever heard of. Not to mention hanging around with that airline pilot who asks little boys if they’ve seen gladiator movies.

8

And why doesn’t Kirk ever mention hid daughter, the blonde actress in Pasadena living next to the nerds? He threw one of her boyfriends out a high-rise window - why doesn’t he do that to David?

9

He would have gotten both of the boys. But Richie’s real father was a cop and he’d have come up from Mayberry if his son was killed.

10

Was this show chosen intentionally, Horatio? Gavan O’Herlihy, who played Chuck Cunningham, also appeared in the Voyager pilot.

11

I think you mean “Hoss and Little Joe” instead of “Crockett and Tubbs” and “beat up” instead of “arrest”.

12

My thought exactly. And if the kids, or Adama, had a robot fetish and fell in love with a Cylon or two, the Cylon would be dead by the time the show was over. Problem solved.

13

Didn’t Capt. Kirk place his Starfleet pension in jeopardy by using a time machine to return to late 20th century Earth and getting a job as an LAPD officer?

14

If so, the time-machine would provide the solution, bringing his even-later in life self, the Boston attorney, through to argue the Starfleet pension-computer into suiciding.

15

(Bolding, mine)
Dude - he was tapping that a$$, 12 days to Sunday. Apparently, there were some things that Marion Cunningham just *would not do *in the sack, and I have no doubt that Jessica was an animal between the sheets.

16

Oh Marion Cunningham put out alright for Charlie Harper AND Charlie Goodson

17

Absolutely! Check her out when she was helping Charles Boyer drive his wife insane. She was 19, sexy, and full of mischief. When he took her to the Casbah, rowr!

(Or should that be “Le Rowr”?)

18

Charles Boyer only needed the gas to cook for Robert Redford and Jane Fonda.

19

Maybe it came around full circle when Marion Cunningham died under suspicious circumstances while in a Vista Cruiser driven by the son of a President of the Federation of Planets?

20

Why didn’t Jed Clampett use his millions to lure Holly Golightly to go back to him?