I’ve always wanted to use this on you cotton pickin’ punsters:
When puns are outlawed, only outlaws will have puns.
You can have my puns when you pry them from my cold, dead mouth.
I’ll send flowers.
-Al Capone.
That’s what I was thinking.
So he was tired of being married to the old broad, and offed her. Nice try, Oklahoma man.
You know the old saying, “Never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by incompetance?”.
Well, there’s the corollary: “Any sufficiently advanced incompetance is indistiguishable from malice.”
Pretty certain they didn’t have a shotgun wedding.
Maybe she caught him rifling through her purse.
He’ll never find another wife of that caliber, though.
See post 42.
Dear Jesus, please smite the puns and those who make them now. Amen.
It’s hard to gauge the truth in this matter, but I predict the hammer is going to fall on this guy.
What a Rotten joke.
(Followed by a Vicious pun.)
That doesn’t explain why there’s no little BBs.
No. Hydrostatic shock does.
Well, isn’t that the thing…I have seen many instances of couples and individuals pushing the limits of bondage and masochism in popular culture. Rape and pain fantasies… they don’t want simulation, they want realism… Nothing else gets them off. Squicks me the fuck out.
Was “fraudulent” when the pointed out that most fossils are missing most of their teeth. Just because that one had 4 teeth didn’t mean it was the skull of an Oklahoma man with a good dental plan.
Reminds me of an old joke:
A man who was asked if he was ever married.
The man said " Sure. My first wife and I were happily married until she died from eating poisoned mushrooms."
“That must have been awful.”
“It was but I soon remarried and she too died from eating poisoned
mushrooms.”
“Wow” replied the other person.
“But I got lucky and soon remarried… only she died of a crushed skull”
"What happened!!! "
“She wouldn’t eat the poisoned mushrooms.”
…if I didn’t have such a wonderful sig, I’d ask for rights to that.
A story very similar to this happened recently in Nebraska. The husband went to jail (see Omaha World Herald coverage of the sentencing below). I do not currently own guns (and have no wish to), but I was brought up very much in the southern gun culture. I don’t consider anyone pointing a gun at a person and pulling the trigger to be anything other than intentional at any time. As most posters have said, treat every single gun as though it is loaded…any shootings stemming from stories like these should be treated as criminal acts. http://www.omaha.com/article/20090924/NEWS01/709249758
Love all the puns, btw… 
As opposed to the LA gun culture, or the Chicago gun culture?
never mind.