That’s “Another Testament of Jesus Christ”. I think the Apocrypha is included in the Ethiopian canon (at least some of the Apocrypha).
“See this book, kids? This is the book that our nation’s founding fathers risked their lives to worship as they saw fit, or not at all.”
What are you talking about? It very clearly says the Bible, so it clearly means our Bible. And by our Bible I mean my Bible. What are you, some kind of communist or Protestant?
I suddenly have a fear of hearing “Die, heretic scum!” and getting pushed off a bridge.
The King James version is just fine, and I’m not even a part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I just love the language in it. Legend has it that Shakespeare wrote some Psalms, based on the translations, but nothing to confirm that. Regardless, all those “thees,” and “thous,” and especially, “begats,” make it my favourite version.
I can imagine some Oklahoma child coming home from school. “Mommy, today, we learned some ‘begats’ from the Bible. What’s a ‘begat’?”
“Um … darling … they mean … wait, um …”
“And what does it mean when they said, ‘they wanted to lie with them’? Like, did they mean they didn’t want to tell the truth?”
“Okay, well … wait … um … it’s … complicated?”
Good luck teaching the Bible to grade-schoolers, Oklahoma.
I should hope so since this is the King James Bible version of Ezekiel 23:20,
For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.
While these
New Living Translation
She lusted after lovers with genitals as large as a donkey’s and emissions like those of a horse.
NET Bible
She lusted after their genitals–as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.
will make for some interesting dinner table conversations!
Matthew 6:6 (KJV):
“Mommy, does this mean that we don’t have to go to church on Sundays any more?”
And what about the New Testament telling women to be quiet? That’ll be a fun thing for female teachers!
Good point, @Monty .
I’d imagine that these Oklahoma legislators are looking at the Bible as only four books: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Okay, maybe we can extend that to the Acts and to Paul’s Epistles, excluding maybe the letter to Philemon. But Revelation is definitely in the curriculum.
It’s the Old Testament that’s going to give them trouble. And if they’re going to teach “the Bible,” then they cannot exclude the Old Testament.
There’s a lot more in there than Noah’s Ark, and Daniel in the Lion’s Den, and Joshua knocking down the walls of Jericho. Heck, the Old Testament is three times the size of the New Testament. Sodom and Gomorrah! God and the Devil gambling (gambling!) on Job! The Song of Solomon, and its references!
Hey, let’s look at Song of Solomon 5:4 (KJV): " My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him."
Fun stuff, kids! Poop jokes in the Bible!
You can look at Song Of Solomon all you want, but in school they will be taught select verses that reenforce conservative beliefs, and any attempts to bring up other verses not in the curriculum will be seen as a disruption and dealt with accordingly.
Plot twist: turns out Ryan Walters is getting a kickback from the ACLU and The Freedom From Religion Foundation.
I’m sure they would say “The Koran has no ‘substantial influence on our nation’s founders and the foundational principles of our Constitution.’ This isn’t about religion; it’s about history. It’s about the historical and cultural importance of the Bible.”
Which maybe opens the door for “complying” with this order by teaching about how, historically, attempts have been made to use the Bible to threaten religious liberty.
Maybe the Bible in question needs to be Jefferson’s personal Bible.
Hell, even the same verses can be taught differently. You can teach Genesis from an scientific perspective. “See kids, the earth was formless and desolate at first because the matter was still expanding and hadn’t cooled yet. There was no concentrated light until the sun was fully formed 4.6 billion years ago.” If some asshole says that you have to teach it word for word, just say, “My Christian beliefs state that I cannot bear false witness. God has showed us how his creation occurred and to take the Bible that literally is a sin. You are encroaching on my Christian beliefs that the earth was formed 4.5 billion years ago.” First amendment. Done.
Good luck with that.
Any efforts to keep a middle schooler away from subversive anti-establishment smut are in vain.
Just write the numbers of a few choice verses on the stall in the boys bathroom and the administration will be looking to ban the book within in a week.
Maybe an exaggeration, but I don’t think that the powers that be have thought too hard about what it means to bring the bible out of the protected confines of the true believers into the world at large. They probably have a Jack Chick view of the world that says that all someone needs to do is be exposed to the bible and they will see the light and become Christian. But reality doesn’t work that way and tweens will do whatever they can to subvert authority.
In any case I don’t think it will get that far. I expect a court to put an injunction on the order before the school systems can even start pricing bibles.
wow the "yall Qaeda"is going strong .cause they think trump will win …
Catholics use the Apocrypha, and when I attended an Episcopal church, we sometimes had reading from it in the service.
Psst: Thomas Jefferson had a Koran.
That was actually a message to that congregation, because the women wouldn’t stop chit-chatting when the service began. Yeah, it’s been misinterpreted so much over the centuries.
This is outrageous of course.
But the actual result is going to make kids even less interested in the Bible than they already are.
It’s like these people don’t even understand children.