He’s 18. Some arthritis, kidney disease under control at this point, indoor/outdoor (please don’t suggest keeping him in now, just don’t. )
He’s gotten very very pudgy, fat even. He sleeps 90% of the day. His bowels are fine. I don’t want to take him to the vet because it traumatizes him so badly. I mean, he’s fine, for a fat, old, 18 year old cat. He seems happy, sleeps with me, demands food, but how will I know when it’s time. I just want this all to be as peaceful for him as possible. He was my buddy thru my 2nd widowhood, and as odd as it is to say, he lives to be with me. Could it be that he will just pass peacefully w/o the vet, or will he wander off to be done with it all?
Since he’s an indoor/outdoor cat, either is possible.
It has been my experience that the cat will let you know. We had a 17 year old insulin dependent male who weighed over 17 lbs at one point who had a stroke and made it clear he was ready to go. We had a 21 year old who had a lot of medical issues her last year, but was very clear every time we took her to the vet for ‘the talk’, that she wanted to die at home, and she did.
When your cat starts hiding in places it normally doesn’t. Behind the couch, in the closet, etc. When that happened with my 19 year old cat it was only about another week. One day she couldn’t stand up so I got her a blanket and let her sleep where she was. Gone in a couple of hours.
I had an old cat with kidney issues, had to give him 60ml of Ringer’s lactate in a comedy syringe a couple times a week for like a year and a half before he went. I’d gone up to Seattle with my son to celebrate his birthday and when I got back Stiggs was prostrate under a chair in the spare room, couldn’t get up, poor thing. I wrapped him up in a quilt and held him all night long then in the morning I had to call around to find a vet who could put him down. It was awful. At least, once I had him wrapped up on my lap he got very calm and slept most of the night. So yeah, you just kind of know–and BTW, Stiggs had been an indoor/outdoor cat all his life but once he started failing of the kidney thing I stopped letting him go out because first off there are coyotes in my neighborhood and secondly if he’d dropped like that while outside I would never have found him and he’d have died alone and cold and there was no way I was letting my much loved old man go like that. I really miss him, he’s been gone nine years but he’d been with me since he was a tiny abandoned kitten I rescued from a freeway rest stop. He moved houses and states with me and I loved him so much. I’m glad he went knowing how much I loved and cared for him, all cuddled up in my arms to the end.
You say “just don’t”.
But read SmartAl has a different point to consider:
The natural tendency of a weakened cat is to hide in a secluded spot to wait for the end. If she is outside, she may well wander off and die alone.
If she is indoors, you can be with her, to comfort her —and yourself.
I came home and Immy wasn’t moving from the bathroom floor; she’d peed there too because she couldn’t walk to the litter box 2 feet away. At the vet’s she was content to make a few comments but just sat with me. Her spark had gone out of her, aside from her sudden inability to walk (she’d jumped up on the bed the previous day to wake me up).
Our oldest dog, Ella, has been going downhill this year (her fifteenth). She had an episode of vestibular disease that caused her to go without eating for three days. She’s always been lean, so dropping a few pounds made her look skeletal.
But she bounced back. I’ve tried putting some weight back on her, but she’s predisposed to pancreatitis, so I have to watch her fat intake. She also has never been a chow hound.
She still wags her tail and wants to go on walks. Every time my gf’s suggests that maybe it’s time, Ella will bounce back and have two consecutive great days.
As long as he seems happy and is eating, it isn’t time. While 18 is old for a cat, a few of them live much longer. I’ve personally known at least two who made it into their 20’s; and a very few are known to have made their 30’s.
If he starts losing weight but is still eating well, it might be hyperthyroidism, which is very common in older cats and is easily treatable – a tiny pill twice a day can gain as much as several more good years.
If he’s obviously miserable, I’d take him in and see if there’s any clear diagnosis, and if so whether it can be treated without overly distressing the cat. A miserable cat is likely to hide, or to hunch into odd and uncomfortable positions (odd for a cat, that is; cats ordinarily are comfortable in positions that would be painful or impossible for a human, but by now you presumably know what positions this particular cat generally lies around in.) A cat who’s trying to eat but can’t may have some source of pain in their mouth. A cat who’s straining to shit or piss but can’t is a medical emergency and will be in pain shortly if they aren’t already. A cat who’s making a point of pissing in the wrong spot in front of you may be trying to tell you they’re in pain from, for instance, a urinary infection – that might be treatable.
If he just eventually stops eating but seems otherwise comfortable – it’s possible that he might just pass peacefully. I’ve had several cats die at home with either no sign of distress or only very brief signs at the end that were less distress than they would have had at being taken to the vet. I’ve also had several who had to be taken in and euthanized.
I’d recommend, personally, against letting him wander off: less for him than for you. I had a dog pull that one off (I had turned my back on her for literally less than five minutes, I still have trouble believing she could move fast enough at that point to have managed it) and I wouldn’t recommend the ensuing several days of frantic hunting for her, worrying that she was still alive and thirsty, or in pain, or being found by coyote while she still cared about it, to anybody. But as he’s used to going out I’d let him out, in the daytime only, as long as he’s still moving at normal speeds. If he slows down and becomes unable to run well, don’t let him out unless you’re right with him, and pick him up if he’s about to get into somewhere you couldn’t easily get him out of.
One other note – old cats sometimes go deaf. They generally manage so well that their humans may not realize that it’s happened; but you do want to know if he can’t hear you calling, or hear a car coming.
It’s good that he’s fat. Kidney disease will eventually start taking weight off. Once he stops being interested in food, or you would have to do something he hates to keep him going, it’s time to start thinking about his quality of life, and balancing in your mind whether he’s still got a good ratio of good to bad.
I’ve had three kidney disease (CRF) cats, and the balance was different for each of them. Two of them seemed to enjoy getting subcutaneous fluids, once I figured out how to make it pleasant by warming them up. One of those two would eat canned food with pills crushed up in it. One tolerated fluids if everything went perfectly, but I stopped trying to get pills in her because I didn’t want our final months together to be a battle royale every day.
Finally, for my last three pets that needed to be put down, we used a mobile vet service to do it at home. If you might want to do that, now is the time to find out if it’s available, and get the information you need about it. For the last cat, Mabel, we called the vet out late at night because her breathing was labored and she didn’t want to snuggle. She was clearly uncomfortable. It was nice to not have to subject any of them to that last trip to the vet.
If you want some anecdotal evidence, pretty much consistent with what everyone is saying: a friend had a nice cat. He would frolic outside in the garden in the morning, and hang out indoors most of the time. Around age 20 I guess he began to have some issues, because every day she would stop by the butcher’s on the way home and buy him some fresh raw turkey; not sure what other drugs or special diet he was on. Everything was OK for a few more years, until at age 23 he went blind. He still got on for a few weeks, including short trips outside in the morning, but one day he was suddenly obviously unwell, tried to get out but my friend didn’t let him, so then he tried to hide away way back behind the refrigerator. She didn’t want him to die alone back there, so she got him out and put him in a basket with some blankets. A few hours later he was no more.
Case 2: two alley cats, age unknown but around 20. One had an eye missing and no teeth, as well as a crippled leg with an untreated compound fracture, but would show up every single day when the people in the building put food out. One evening she never showed up, even though they called her and looked around. They figure her multiple health problems caught up with her all of a sudden, she felt unwell, and hid away somewhere to die. Unlike Cat #1, there was nobody around to stop her from disappearing. The other alley cat was OK for another couple of years, but one day she did not vanish, but sat around looking miserable and had no appetite. The following day she was hardly better, so someone took her to the vet, but despite treatment she went into convulsions during the night and died.
In conclusion, in all cases it was obvious, through changes in behaviour and appearance, when there was a catastrophic health problem, and in the the majority (but not all) of cases the cat, feeling crook, did in fact at least attempt to wander off.
Having to go through this 2x one of which just this week. My answer is when his quality of life has dropped so he can’t do what he loves. If the cat has to be confined (somewhat or total) for the rest of it’s life (due to innocence for instance) it’s time. If the cat can’t keep itself clean it’s time. If the cat is sleeping much more but still gets around and gets to stay with you it’s not time.
I’d also say if the cat wants to go out let it, it may be his last time he/she wants to enjoy the outdoors.
Many of them will try to wander off, or to hide someplace in the house. I have however had a couple who made it very clear that they wanted me with them; and one who went to sleep and then into coma in his at-that-time-current spot, which appeared to have been selected because it was handy for getting attention from anyone moving through the house.
If the cat has quit washing, it’s very nearly over (unless they’re just temporarily ill with something acute), though they may go gently enough that at home is better. But many older cats, especially if they’re long haired, need some assistance at keeping their hindquarters clean; and they may still be doing well enough otherwise for quite some time.
– If the cat is dying at home and death seems imminent, a practical note: if possible, gently place the cat on something comfortable but either easily washable or discardable. Bladder closing muscles relax at death; there may or may not be anything much in there.
I just want to add that I’ve also had experiences with pets where it was not obvious what I should do, and I’ve had regrets about not letting go sooner. I think if your pet is old and has an eventually fatal illness that is chronic, there’s basically no wrong answer. It’s deeply personal.
My biggest regrets had to do with pets where I did not initially understand the seriousness of their conditions, and they did a good job of hiding the effects. They weren’t showing me that it was “time,” and I didn’t have the information I needed to make what I now consider the right decision. I try not to feel guilty, because I didn’t know. But I also think it’s wrong to say that they’ll always let you know.
We had one who started having difficulty breathing. We were going to put him in a crate and take him to the vet, but he made it clear he wanted the end to come at home. He bit me just for picking him up, which he had never done. The dog must have know what was going on, because she got between me and the crate. He left us while being held by Ms. P, in front of all four of us (plus his dog).
from my experience he will die peacefully either indoors or outdoors wherever he is when the time comes. He may even come to say goodbye before he goes for his last sleep.
We’ve gone down this road with many cats before. In almost all cases, we should not have required them to stay longer than they were comfortable with, and we regretted the decision to prolong their lives. As for the cat being traumatized by the vet’s office, in our most recent case, the vet came to the house and euthanized Suri while she was in our bed, in my wife’s arms. I’m glad we chose that path, even though it was more expensive than bringing Suri to the vet’s office. Peace.
You will surely be able to tell if a cat or dog is uncomfortable, and a veterinary examination, blood sample, etc., will confirm if it is really something terminal. On the other hand, some people adopt and take good care of cats who are blind, missing a leg, paraplegic, narcoleptic, etc. and are able to make them happy, so there can also be room for optimism. And I know of a case involving a cat over 20 years of age who was on the street in pathetically bad shape, taken to the vet, diagnosed with pancreatitis, hospitalized for a month, and made a complete recovery. So it doesn’t always end in multiple organ failure and death or euthanasia. Anyway, the cat in the OP sounds fine; if the vet says he is too fat or otherwise needs special kidney/arthritis food, you can buy special dietetic cat food for that,
I’ve had nine cats die in my care, and all but two were totally expected deaths and the two that weren’t were obvious decisions for euthanasia because there was no hope.
In the normal course of things, l don’t believe that it’s all that difficult to know when to say goodbye to a pet. It’s difficult because it hurts of course, but there’s no real guilt because you didn’t know the right thing to do. You will know when the time comes. When you aren’t doing the animal any favors by continuing treatment, you will know.
If the animal is going about its business, eating, excreting, and enjoying life, let it be. When pain or sickness takes over for good, it’s time to let go.
I wouldn’t worry unduly about taking a deathly sick pet to the vet. If euthanasia is looming, the pet will probably not care about its surroundings.
Hard to be sure what’s in their heads; but I’ve definitely seen dying cats who seemed to know and care where they were, and who was there, up until they went unconscious.