Harm?
What’s the harm in a 16 you having sex with a 40 yo versus having sex with another teenager?
The 40 yo is more likely to be responsible, to use birth control, and to be able to handle the consequences of sex. Might just be a better lover too, all things considered.
Why is the age gap alone bad?
and you know this how?
Have you never been nine? 
Meanwhile, back the the OP…
I’m 50 and for me it is roughly (hah!) 15 years either side of my age. Younger than that and I might notice that that person is likely to turn into someone I would consider hot in a few years, and older, well, they might have been pretty hot when younger.
The thread started 2 years ago! A “zombie” is a thread (needlessly) brought back from the dead.
Eh. For the cerebral as well as generational reasons, I’m not drawn to women younger than about 35.
My daughter is 21. Women that age are my kids’ contemporaries…
Wow! This zombie grew some legs. I’ll jump in now that its gone to page 2.
I’m mumbles 30 something. My SO is 20 years older than me. We talk all the time.
We are planning a trip to San Diego to watch a USMC graduation ceremony in October. We do this every year.
I know that the graduating Marines are men, but OMG, they look like kids to me. So young and so unfinished and so hawt in their dress blues and probably very willing.
While I would never take one of them on the ride of his life, I do sometimes think about it.
I’m in my early-40’s and until recently would not have thought I would have any interested in anyone younger than early 30’s or so. But darn it all if there isn’t this 26 yo who works where I volunteer. I find myself humming Mrs. Robinson (theme from The Graduate) when he’s around. I talked it over with Suburban Plankton and I have permission should the opportunity arise.
I find that as I get older, I still want to hook up with the 20-somethings, but I am increasingly tolerant of hooking up with older women.
Male, 51 here. I was recently telling a buddy who is 35 that a great thing about getting older is that now I admire women in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s. Whereas when I was in my 20s the upper limit of my admiration was women in their 30s. When I was 35 I was seeing a 45 year old woman and the sex was great.
So as I get older, there are more and more women I admire. Works for me.
If the law of the land says that a 16yo is mature enough to make a considered consent to sex with another person, who are you to be labelling people. If it’s lawful, it’s none of your business.
You come across as someone that really hates sex.
I’ve always found that I’m attracted to women the same age and appearance as the woman I am in love with.
Since the women I have been in love with have been growing old at the same rate I have, I’ve always found that the age I’m attracted to has been growing older with me.
Except for the 10 years when I was broken and not looking at women at all. When I came out of that, I found I was still looking at women the same age as I was when I stopped looking. But the women I was looking at weren’t looking back. Eventually I got back in sinc again.
Tollhouse, most parents would have a big problem with their teenage daughter having any sort of romantic relationship with a significantly older man. They would almost certainly view it as a mature adult taking advantage of their naive child. I find their attitude completely understandable and, in general, tend to agree with that perspective. As a person well past his teenage years, I’ve can’t imagine the situation in which I would want to have any type of sexual relationship with someone so young.
However, I find it confusing that you find it necessary to compare the older teenage demographic with children as young as nine. When it comes to matters of sexual development (whether physical or mental), there is no correlation between the thought processes of the two age groups. While I have no argument with your use of the term “scumbag” when applied to pedophiles, I have to disagree if you equate such people to an adult who has sex with a consenting 18-year-old. While such relationships might seem disgusting to many in our society, classifying a person as a pervert simply because he had consensual sex with a younger person who is considered an adult in the eyes of the law is wrong.
Perhaps you have a deeply personal reason to see the situation as you do. Many reasonable people have varying degress of negative reactions to that type of relationship. However, to classify the older adult in that situation as a pedophile is not only unfair to both parties involved, it is an tremendous insult to the prepubescent children who have suffered at the hands of a true sexual monster. To dilute the crime of sex acts with children by comparing a senior in high school to a third grader goes way beyond the boundary of hyperbole.
Your disgust regarding consensual sex between older men and very young adults is clear. However, justifying your feelings by classifying their actions as those of a pedophile taking advantage of a child unable to make such decisions is simply wrong. Where do you think the limits should be? Do you feel a nineteen-year-old is incapable of making rational decisions in matters of sex? Is there some age-related sliding scale you feel must be applied to sex between adults?
I definitely agree.
“Who are you to be labelling people”? Um, they’re human. Humans label other people with descriptors of other people. It’s not like labelling someone with your personal opinion of them being a pervert or disgusting is the same as saying that they should be punished by society and thrown in prison.
Also, in general I’m not that fond of arguments that say “well what they’re doing isn’t illegal, so therefore it’s perfectly fine and you’re a bad person if you don’t like what they’re doing.” Just because something is legal doesn’t necessarily make it a great thing to do. Sure, a 50 year old can legally have a sexual relationship with a 16 year old if they’re above the age of consent in their jurisdiction. But although I’m generally very open minded about relationships between any consenting adults, I’d bet that there are very few (if any) relationships between people of those ages that is healthy. What kind of 16 year old would want to be in that relationship? What kind of 50 year old would? I’d say that the vast majority of the time one (or both) of them would have emotional/maturity issues. It’s one thing for a 50 year old to appreciate the looks of an older teenager in a bikini, but an actual relationship?
I have no problem with the idea that a relationship can be legal but still morally dubious or “perverted”. They’re not mutually exclusive. I mean, given Rule 34 there’s tons and tons of stuff out there on the interwebs that is perfectly legal but I think that if it were shown to almost anyone in our society they’d think it’s disgusting or perverted.
News to me.
I love to look at young people - their fresh skin and healthy hair. They just have a glow to them that energizes me. But I can’t imagine trying to sustainalove relationship with one. To me it seems that the power differential would be difficult to keep in balance, if not impossible. And if there’s anything I need in my relationships it’s equality. I think it would wear me out emotionally.
The first time a man older than I turned my head was in my late thirties. And I remember being so surprised.
Not everyone my age and older would be suitable for a relationship because I’ve figured out what’s good for me and what isn’t and the sex part is only a portion of it. But the chances of finding the depth of character that I like are better with older males.,
It’s pretty much a moot point unless my husband of forty-six years decides he wants a divorce or unexpectedly shuffles off this mortal coil. Since neither are likely there’s not much need to think about it.
I’ve found that the Half Plus Seven rule corresponds well with my own tastes, but I have a friend who is 28 (I’m 58 so she should be at least 36) and were I “unencumbered” I’d be on her like white on rice. Even though she’s also encumbered. One thing about AA is that we know a lot about each other’s personal lives, so I know her encumbrance is getting on her nerves.
Maybe I’ll just wait until I’m 74 and she’s 44. 
By way of comparison, I’m 16 and my gap is about two to three years younger and up to roughly a decade older (of course there are exeptions such as this 35 year old: http://d1i45kki000yqu.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/kimhaneul2.jpg).
a 16 year old should not be dating a 13 year old. Sorry, I can’t support that. Also, you shouldn’t be dating any one out of high school.
But, my opinion is colored by being a parent, so you can just dismiss me as a fuddy duddy
