I used to work at a homeless shelter. People were always asking to borrow money. I solved the problem of payback. I had $20 i was willing to loan for legit reasons. But that $20 was not available while it was out on loan. Peer pressure kept everyone timely in their payment back to me. It was a stroke of genius that just hit me one day. “I’m sorry, I can’t loan that to you. Sally got paid today but she hasn’t paid me back.”
That is genius.
We have a family member who has been a “loan” sinkhole for a long time; every time is an emergency or a “last time” but she can barely stop digging herself deeper long enough to catch the money tossed at her. Only meaningless dribs and drabs have ever been paid back.
Since she tended to ask very quietly and in rotation, it took some family members years to realize how much this person was taking and how bad the overall situation was. I think some relatives have directly bought her things she needs - car tires, a lawn mower - but no one gives her cash any more.
Besides draining a few older family members and adding new expensive obligations (like adopted children) in the midst of deep financial shit, she tends to do things like take some part of money “she desperately needed” and buy clothes or food or just give cash to some other friend “who needed help.”
Very intelligent woman, high professional degree… absolutely as hopeless financially as the worst welfare queen junkie cat lady you’ve ever heard of.
I was able to buy my house without a mortgage by borrowing from various grandparents (plus my wife’s then-boss, who offered - unprompted - to lend her $10K). Paid everyone back, of course. But I’ve been told that my wife’s grandfather was very surprised when he began receiving monthly checks - despite my having told him explicitly that I would pay back $X per month - he had apparently had experience with a lot of other people’s promises …
I’ve loaned serious money to one of my brothers who is a real estate wheeler dealer and sometimes needs bridge loans. He’s always paid back, but one time it caused me all sorts of hassle as I myself was applying for a mortgage on a property and the mortgage company was skeptical of the transactions on my bank statement.
My mother loaned me $1600 so I could file for bankruptcy 5-6 years ago. It took me over 2 years, but I paid her back a total of $2000. Not that she ever asked for any interest, I just paid extra because I felt guilty about taking so long to pay it off.
I’ve had one or two people borrow small-ish amounts over the years and never pay me back, nothing big. When I did the call center thing, I “loaned” a lot of people a buck or two here or there that they never paid back and I never asked for it, but after 2-3 times each, I stopped giving them money.
Been asked a number of times for larger amounts by people I knew would never pay me back. I always turned them down.
Loaned my brother $5000 when he was attempting to stay above water with an out of control wife. He paid on it a while, then declared bankruptcy, and my loan was included, so I at least got to write it off on my taxes.
About 2 years later, he sent me a check for the principal balance.
Interesting stories everyone. Thanks for sharing. I agree that I never loan money I actually expect to ever see again. Back when I loaned that friend $800 I was younger and dumber, and probably shouldn’t have. We aren’t friends anymore, but it’s not really because of the $800. I asked a few times to get it back, he said he’d start paying me back, and then we just stopped talking all together.
I love the story of the person who paid a loan back out of the blue 15 years later without being prompted. Maybe they went through some sort of life crisis and wanted to right all their wrongs or something? That’s crazy.
I loaned by brother and his wife $1000 to help them move. I was rewarded by being included in their bankruptcy a year later. I now require collateral if I loan money. I have a nice 1 carat diamond ring that is about to be sold, it’s been over 2 years and the borrower has made no effort to pay back anything.
The only time I’ve ever borrowed from family was a couple of times from my father. Both times I paid him back in fairly short order (a couple of months) with interest, though he never asked of any. Both times he gave the interest to my son.
Never borrowed anything bigger than lunch money from a friend. The one time I loaned a friend he paid it back. Took him a while but he did it.