Greetings all. It’s a bit before sunset here on what’s been a mix of sunny and semi-gray day. Albeit warm & smoke free, so better than many of our poor MMPers have had.
A long and unexpectedly difficult day at this end. Which seems to fit with the general theme of the thread, that long and difficult days are the norm this week. 'Cept fer swampie and his cee-mint pond; nothing seems difficult in his world.
Other than an extra-lazy extra-late start my day was nominal until I went to the dentist around noon for my usual cleaning plus annual inspection. I’d set up a haircut appointment after that with a gap in between for lunch or in case the dental stuff ran long. I get frequent regular cleanings, because I’m real good at growing calculus, but the process is no big deal, I’ve got good teeth, and no concerns about dentistry in general. The folks here are great.
After X-rays the dentist pokes her head in there and says “Hey, your lower gums are developing perio disease.” Which I’d had years ago and was a PITA to manage back to health. Ugh. I’d recently noticed my gums hurt occasionally, and specifically in the areas she was pointing at. Crap. At least now I have corroboration.
“We have this cosmic new treatment for this. A laser that zaps the gunk and diseased tissue so the gums start healing immediately. I can do that today, only takes maybe 20 minutes. Here’s the brochure. Think about it while Jane does your normal cleaning.” Well, there goes my slack time and my lunch. Oh bother. Still, I’d like to nip this in the relative bud. “OK, make it so.” “Sign here.” Done.
Halfway through the cleaning they give me an anesthetic solution to swish awhile then and spit. Except for the fact it tasted like bubble gum and mint it wasn’t too bad. Then while it’s taking effect they finish the teeth polishing, flossing, etc. Success, except now my tongue is flopping around in there, drool’s running out of my face, and my mouth feels like it’s expanded a bunch. Not as in swollen, as in grown, like some misshapen caricature. Tres weird. And I’m salivating in high gear, even more than my usual excess spraying while they work. Whole lotta inconvenience going on, but nothing serious.
Time to walk from the one exam room to another. I’m woozy & wobbly, happy to keep one hand on the wall. That’s not supposed to happen sez they. Gee Thanks sez I.
Plop in the new chair and the doc lays me out flat. I tell her if you don’t tip the chair more upright I’m dizzy enough right now to both fall out and barf. Neither of which are good. OK sez she and up the chair goes. Do you want to proceed says she? Sure, I’m not going to do this a second time that’s for sure. So now or never.
She takes her magic needle-nosed laser thingy and gets to work. Imagine taking a hypodermic and just barely pricking the skin down between teeth and gums several times all the way around each tooth. All 28 of 'em. I’m numb-ish, but feel each prick a bit and sometimes a real strong stab comes through. Meanwhile the smell of burning flesh slowly fills my mouth and nose. I get cauterized at the dermatologist regularly, so I know what burning @LSLGuy smells like and although unpleasant it’s not alarming.
She finally gets done & pronounces the process a success. Hooray sez I. Although with my oversized floppy mouth it doesn’t sound much like that. But at least now all my gums hurt a bunch too.
She flits off to the next patient and after I delayed the assistant for a couple minutes she leads me back to the checkout spot. I plop in a chair and tell 'em it’ll be a few minutes before I can do anything but sit and spit in the adjacent restroom. I am wasted. They’re all concerned; this is not normal. Not an emergency, but a cause for close observation.
I spend a half hour slowly regaining normalcy and swishing and spitting and spitting and swishing and drooling. Face is still numb and now gums hurt more. Not bad, just real annoying.
Pay the nice people, call the haircut to cancel, walk gingerly to the car, drive home the 3 miles very carefully, and collapse in my recliner with only a little swishing and spitting. That was 5 hours ago. I’ve napped and sat and sat and napped. I feel like I was in a car crash: all shook up.
Gums are subsided to just “all shook up” too, and no numbness remains. But boy will I sleep well tonight, and starting early.
Tomorrow I’m going to find out what that anesthetic solution was and put it on my never-again list.
Bar none, that was the weirdest medical experience of my life and by far the worst dentist encounter. Not that I blame them, or think anybody screwed up; just that it was real unpleasant.
