From last week:
Same.
Which is why, when people ask, “Why did you name your cat Monkey?” I give them the Good Glare 
and reply, “If you ever met the little 
you’d understand.”
… aaaaand he’s walking on me.
Like, ON me.
If anyone asks, just mutter, “You should see the other bitch!” and let 'em wonder.
(ETA: Okay, it’s not technically true anymore, I forgot you had her spayed already … still works, though.)
In doggio’s defense, every cat in the history of cats has said that.
Including that fluffy white cat eating from a crystal goblet in the … I think it was Fancy Feast commercials?
Several thousand years ago, our ancestors worshipped their ancestors as gods. Cats have never forgotten that.
^^ One of my favorite memes.
This gave me a smile.
{ Ahem. }
Humour.
(She’s British, ya gotta humor them.)
How awful!!
Yeah. It will.
I assume you, as her unpaid staff, will provide the GOOD gooshy-fud (whatever that is to her) plus squeezy-crack, especially if her little mouth will be sore.
As Boo said in last week’s chitty-chat, please give her gentle pats on the neck from all of us.
You are very polite to offer her the whole bowl!
She was very polite right back.