Oldest Joke?

[insider]

Historically, what is the oldest writing which tells a joke and was meant to be funny?

[Ringo]

There’s probably something older, but here’s Cecil on the subject:

Are there any jokes in the Bible?

I think I’ve seen mention somewhere of ancient graffitti.

[rowrrbazzle]

A previous thread (without an answer):

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=66055

[Dignan]

Pull my finger . . .

[Hombre]

*Originally posted by rowrrbazzle *
**A previous thread (without an answer):

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=66055 **

From that thread…surely the ‘chicken/road’ joke could be traced back to circa use, no? OED anyone?

[HeyHomie]

In this thread from long ago, several people made comments about humor in the Bible. Following is my post, chock full o’ wit and insight.

viz

More humor in the Bible…

IMHO, Balaam’s donkey speaking (Numbers 22:23) is an example of absurdity. That is, God uses an absurd situation to make a strong point.

One of the funniest passages in the Bible is a prank. 1 Samuel 24:3-4 " He [Saul] came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were far back in the cave. [David’s boasting] … Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe."

Another prank: Jacob’s brother Esau is quite hairy, and the boys’ father is blind. So Jacob puts goat fur all over his body to scam their father into believing that Jacob is really Esau. Maybe you had to be there. Genesis 27

Another prank: Jacob wants to marry this girl named Rachel. Her father, Laban, tells him “She’s yours if you’ll be my slave for 7 years.” Jacob says, “OK” and works for him for the appointed 7 years. So, they have the big wedding feast, Jacob gets liquored up, and then goes into his tent to make sweet love to his new wife. He does the job and then he wakes up and… there’s Leah, Rachel’s older sister! Genesis 29

Teasing: (David shows up to fight Goliath with nothing but a couple of rocks) GOLIATH: “Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?” DAVID: “Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth.”

More teasing: “We have a young sister, and her breasts are not yet grown.” Song of Songs 8:8

That’s all I could come up with for now.

[AWB]

*Originally posted by rastahomie *
**More teasing: “We have a young sister, and her breasts are not yet grown.” Song of Songs 8:8
**

That’s Song of Solomon, actually.

[hajario]

*Originally posted by AWB *
**

*Originally posted by rastahomie *
**More teasing: “We have a young sister, and her breasts are not yet grown.” Song of Songs 8:8
**

That’s Song of Solomon, actually. **

Uh, actually, it’s known as Song of Songs in the Jewish tradition and it is a Jewish text afterall.

Haj

[johnboy]

The oldest joke in history has to be the one about where Jesus goes up to the inkeeper and places four spikes on the desk and asks “Can you put me up for the night?”

[Frank_O.Pinion]

*Originally posted by johnboy *
**The oldest joke in history has to be the one about where Jesus goes up to the inkeeper and places four spikes on the desk and asks “Can you put me up for the night?” **

That was in incredibly bad taste!

[GIGObuster]

Kinda gross but here it goes:

Ancient Graffiti on the walls of Pompeii
http://www.orbilat.com/Vulgar_Latin/Texts/Pompeii_Graffiti.html

Miximus in lecto. Fateor, peccavimus, hospes.
Si dices: Quare? Nulla fuit matella.
We have pissed in our beds. Host, I admit that we shouldn’t have done this.
If you ask: Why? There was no potty.

Suspirium puellarum Celadus thraex.
Celadus the Thracier makes the girls moan!
(C.I.L. IV, 4397; in the barracks of the gladiators)

Even earlier, there are the jokes from The book “Voices from Ancient Egypt”
http://www.ou.edu/oupress/park2362.htm
The jokes came from graffiti in the ruins and other writings. Unfortunately, for quotes you will have to get the book.

From around 3000 BC I think the escape of the Babilonian goddess Ishtar from the underworld is funny:
http://www.cybercomm.net/~grandpa/mideastmyths.html

With Ishtar in the land of the dead, all reproduction on earth came to a halt. … So Ishtar’s brother, Ea, the god of water, created …… Asushunamir, making him far more beautiful than any “male” on earth. Ea’s plan was to send Asushunamir to the Underworld to divert Ereshkigal (the goddes of the underworld), allowing the beautiful Ishtar to leave. When Asushunamir arrived at the first gate into the Underworld, the gatekeeper reported to his queen that the most handsome man on earth was on his way to her. Ereshkigal was so excited that she forgot all about Ishtar.
As Ishtar left via the seventh gate, the first gate out of the Underworld, her waistcloth was returned to her; Asushunamir simultaneously entered the first gate into Ereshkigal’s realm. …… As Ishtar was leaving the first gate, the last gate out of the Underworld, she received her crown, and was free. Asushunamir was wearing only a waistcloth, and when he entered the seventh and last gate into the Underworld, and removed the cloth, Ereshikigal saw that he was not the lover she had hoped for; he was a eunuch! The queen of the Underworld was furious: Her brother and sister gods had tricked her.
When Ishtar returned to the world above the ground, all life began to flourish once again.

There are other versions of the tale, but that one was the funniest.

And to top all that: (Scroll down)
http://www.hominids.com/donsmaps/cavepaintings.html

Spearthrower made of antler showing a young ibex with an emerging turd on which two birds are perched, found around 1940 in the cave of Le Mas d’Azil, Ariege. The ibex figure is about 7 cm long, and dates to about 16000 BC.

This was one of the first examples of mass produced art. Fragments of up to ten examples of this design have been found, which means that scores or hundreds must have been manufactured originally. The joke must have been very popular amongst the people of the time!

Ok, Ok, I meant that it tops the other jokes by the oldest date, not by the quality. But as writing is concerned the Ishtar tale is IMO the earliest.

I can understand sex jokes, but it looks like humanity has never outgrown potty jokes.

[rowrrbazzle]

I know the ancient equivalent of the chicken-road joke:
Why did Caesar cross the Rubicon?
To get to the other side!

Okay, I made that up (or maybe it was in an old NatLamp).

The previous posts have shown that humor is ancient and even pre-dates written language.

But what about a joke? By this I mean a setup in words followed by a punch line.

As I wrote in the other thread, a joke from the * Satyricon* by Petronius, circa 61 AD, is the oldest joke I know. Here’s the modern version.

When the traveling salesman’s car broke down, he stopped at a farmhouse. The farmer said the only place he could sleep was with his daughter and warned the salesman to keep his hands off her.

They went to bed and he made a tentative pass. She said, “Stop that or I’ll call my father!” But… she moved closer.

After more tries and increasingly feeble protests, finally he succeeded, and found her an accomplished and willing lover. Shortly thereafter, she tugged on his pajama sleeve, and said, "Could we do that again?”

After he drifted off, she awoke him and asked for yet another round of torrid love-making. He obliged, but not being the man he once was, fell back asleep at once.

Again, he found himself being shaken by the girl, asking for yet another round. He turned over, facing away from her, pulled the covers over his head, and said, “Stop that, or I’ll call your father!”

In Petronius the traveler (not a salesman) seduces his host’s young son.

From http://web.ukonline.co.uk/ruth.livingstone/parlour/news.htm :

A 4,500 year old joke has been discovered on a slip of papyrus. Apparently, this joke was related by the magician, Djadjamankh, to his pharaoh, Sneferu.

“How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?”
“You sail a boatload of young women, dressed only in fishing nets, down the Nile, and tell him to go catch a fish.”

Carol Andrews, assistant keeper at the British Museum’s Egyptology department, believes some of the joke may be lost in the translation.

from http://www.bikwil.zip.com.au/Vintage05/Macrobius.html

Ambrosius Theodosius Macrobius was an early fifth century African-born Roman author and philosopher…

One 20th century scholar who is aware of him is Frank Muir (of Take It from Here and My Word fame), who credits him with what may be the oldest recorded joke in a European language — and a subtle one at that…

Macrobius’ joke runs:

“Dic mihi, adulescens, fuit aliquando mater tua Romae?”

Negavit ille nec contentus adjecit: “Sed pater meus saepe.”

Muir quotes it in English from The Schoolemaster or Teacher of Table Philosophie of 1583 thus:

There came unto Rome a certain gentleman very like Augustus. The emperor noticed him and demanded of him if his mother had sometimes been to Rome.

“No,” said the gentleman. “But my father hath often been.”

[johnboy]

Hey Frank O. Pinion. I was about to apologize to you but then I caught the smiley. I am an Italian Roman Catholic and know more than a few very tastless Jesus/Trinity/Mary/God, et. al. jokes! Ha Ha Ha.

[Silentgoldfish]

My favorite joke along those lines is (short version)

Two rabbis are talking. Both of them are complaining of the same thing, that when their sons grew up they all converted to Christianity.

Anyways, a time passes and they all eventually die. Now they’re dead and in heaven they figure it’s the perfect chance to find out where they went wrong in bringing up their kids. So they go to god and ask him “Where did we go wrong in raising our kids, that when they grew up they immediatly converted to Christians?” and god says, “Let me tell you a story…”