LMAO!! Spewed beer on the keyboard on that one!! 
Probably when the caveman first passed gas in a sealed cave and threw the mammoth skin over his harem. Kind of the equivalent of rolling up the windows in the car. :eek:
Eve: “Adam, dear, do you love me?”
Adam: “Who else?”
Adam to Eve, “Stand back! I don’t know how big it will get!”
Adam to The Snake: Take my wife…please!
I have a nomination if a joke = pun in your eyes.
In one Sumerian creation myth the goddess Ninhursag created a beautiful paradise/garden on earth full of lush vegetation and fruit trees, (called Edinu). Anyway, to make along story short Ninhursag has a falling out with her lover Enki, she knocks Enki out, he is dying and to heal him she takes a piece of his rib, to create new goddess named Ninti which is a pun in Sumerian, as the word “ti” means both “rib” and "life.” - so it is a name made up of “Nin”, or “lady”, plus “ti”, and which can be translated as both Lady of Living and Lady of the Rib),
If you think I am going to pretend that I think it is funny you can forget it - but here are 3 cites that call it a “pun” (wiki ) or “joke” (Cecil l)
Cite 3
The ancient Greeks had “dumb peasant” jokes, about which I read in a linguistics course back in the day.
The Dumb Peasant heard that parrots live for a hundred years. So he bought one to see if it was true.
Real wukka-wukka types, those Greeks.
Regards,
Shodan
There’s the practical joke where some Israelites got a bunch of enemies to circumcise themselves…then slaughtered them anyway.
Well, I laughed.
How about ‘wise peasant’ jokes?
Hey, peasant, have you lived here all your life?
Not yet.
Hey, peasant, does this road go to Athens?
I’ve lived here all my life, and it ain’t gone nowhere yet.
Hey, peasant, I thought you said that water was shallow!
Only comes up to here on my ducks.
Peasant, there’s not much between you and a fool!
No, just this little wall.
Well, as Bob Dylan redacted the Book of Genesis: God said to Abraham, “Kill me a son” / Abe said, “Man, you must be puttin’ me on”…
Q. When is a rock not a rock?
A. When it’s a rock.
Humor, as a concept, still needed some work.
No, even better- slaughtered them while they were all bent over in pain from the operation. 
Here’s a cite about humor in the Bible.
Baseball, in Genesis:
“In the big inning,…”
I don’t know how old the myth is, or even if this is really as the myth was recorded, but I found it good for a hoot.
When Ulysses and his sailors were trapped in the giant Cyclops’s cave, Ulysses told the Cyclops that his name was “No Man”. Later on, when Ulysses and his sailors stuck a burning log in the Cyclops’s eye, and Cyclops was screaming and carrying on, the other giants came out of their caves and called “Who is hurting you?”. Cyclops answered, “No Man is hurting me!”. Upon which the other giants said “Well, then, shut up all that screaming and let us go back to sleep!”
They did, and don’t call me Shirley. (Speaking of the oldest jokes ever.)
I always thought the oldest joke ever was “Why did the T-Rex cross the road?”
England… 832 AD
Large Man with Dead Body: Who’s that then?
Dead Collector: I dunno, must be a king.
Large Man with Dead Body: Why?
Dead Collector: He hasn’t got shit all over him.
Allah: Hey God, what are you doing?
God: Creating the universe.
Allah: Ha, ha! That’s funny.
I believe my signature line is perfect for this post.
Don’t know if it counts as a joke (more of a funny story), but this made me laugh… Its from Herodotus’ Histories (written about 440 BC), an Egyptian army deserts to join Ethiopia, so the Egyptian king Psammetichus runs after to convince them to change thier mind:
-
- this is how the version I read translated it, all the ones I found online are a bit more conservative and translate “with an unseemly gesture”, I guess nowadays (unlike those progressive BC 440’s
) you can’t get away with saying that.
- this is how the version I read translated it, all the ones I found online are a bit more conservative and translate “with an unseemly gesture”, I guess nowadays (unlike those progressive BC 440’s
God’s helper: I noticed that you placed 2 million nerve endings in Adam’s penis.
God: So?
God’s helper: But you put 15 million nerve endings in Eve’s clitoris. Why?
God: I like it when she screams my name.
Cro Magnon #1 “How many Neanderthals does it take to knap flint?”
Cro Magnon #2 “I don’t know.”
Cro MAgnon #1 “None. They steal them from Australopithecus!”