who wants, when the dudes are lifting up the chicks and swinging them around with crotches flagrant, to stick my face in; and with the deepest, greediest inhalation, imbibe the smell of those sweet, tight-packed muffs?
Ahhh…
I doubt the courtesy sniff would be worth getting your gonads removed courtesy of a strategically planted ice skate. I could be wrong.
Leotards and tights are prime breeding grounds for yeast infections. Why don’t you just sniff a loaf of sourdough and punch yourself in the balls to simulate the experience?
Or we could do it for you.
Seriously, most skaters wouldn’t jump at the chance. I think you’d be on thin ice with this approach. Go figure.
I’m done now. 
They wear muffs now? Well, that must add to the level of difficulty at least.
Why, 'cause they tight?
Ahhh…
I guess “Dong Sniff” and “Muff Sniff” aren’t categories by which skaters are judged, but they should be. The judges could sniff based on sexual orientation.
Uh, this is not appropriate for Cafe Society. I can’t imagine where this is appropriate for, so I’m closing this one.