Oma isn't doing too well

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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She is 85(ish) and in hospital. I saw her on Wednesday at the hospital. She seemed fine but very tired. Her memory was fantastic, though. She knew from whom she recieved christmas cards and gifts she recieved.

The day before, she was reverting to memories from the War. She thought she was in a concentration camp or something (My great-grandmother, her mom, was killed by the Nazi’s for some god damn reason. I think it had to do with the fact she was somehow crippled. This happened even though all of the men of the family served in the Luftwaffe and SS. Those bastards. Our family, we gave our lives to the country and they still killed family. And we were good Germans :rolleyes: ). The day after we visited, she seemed to fall back into that kind of state from what I understand.

She’s had a rough life. Her husband (Opa) was drafted into the Luftwaffe less than a year after they married. She had two raise 2 kids in wartime conditions by herself. She had her town over-run by the enemy. Opa was missing and injured in the war but eventually made it back. They still perservered though. Opa and Oma came to Canada after the war and wanted the best for their family. They started a couple of small town Bakeries in Alberta (Edson and Drayton Valley if anyone cares) and had 2 more kids. Both girls. The business was getting off the ground and aparantely the future was bright. Then, in 1969, after all he’d been through, (the war, a railyard explosion, moving the family across 1/2 the planet with hardly any money and god only knows how much combat) Grandpa died in a god damn car accident. How unfair is that??? A FUCKING, LOUSY CAR ACCIDENT AFTER ALL THEY’D BEEN THROUGH! That left Oma with 2 young kids. The oldest 2 had already left the nest (thankfully). She did an admiral job raising the other two alone. The oldest is now a senior invesment supervisor for one of Canada’s largest banks, and the youngest is an accomplished teacher. Everyone has beautiful families.

Now, She has a hole or something in her large intestine, and the doctors say her heart is far too weak for any surgery. So, it looks like this is it. After I saw her, I honestly didn’t think she was going to pass away. I thought what my aunt told us was overblown. She seemed just like how she always had, albeit very tired. She was even hungry and wanted to eat.

When I visited her on Wednesday, I told her that I make Roladen and Lentil soup. She thought that was fantastic. The youngest can COOK AFTER ALL!!! She was horrified when I told her I was thinking of making it with buffalo though. Heh.

Oma, I’ll be praying for you and hoping this goes away. The doctors say she almost certainly won’t be leaving the hospital though. :frowning:

If ANY of you have Grandparents left (or heck, even PARENTS), please, don’t take them for granted. On the 11th hour of her life, oh, how I wish I got to know her as a woman and not just “Grandma” and always just take for granted she’ll be there. She has so much history and I can only imagine the stories. Make a point of getting to know them before its too late.

Please, I don’t want any “virtual hugs” or any of that crap. I just wanted to relate how it looks like this planet is on the verge of losing of its best and strongest.

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Thank you for sharing this with us, bernse. You are right – we should never take our parents and our grandparents for granted – once they are gone, so is their wisdom, their years of living the experience of life.

Cherish the moments while they are here. My regards to you and your family.

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I only got to know one of my grandparents. My mother’s dad died when I was young and I rarely saw my dad’s parents. I wish I could have got to know all of them better, especially my dad’s parents. I know very little of that side of the family and will probably not learn anymore. bernse, thanks for the great story and I hope the younger folks take your message to heart.

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Thanks, Icewolf. She is my last surviving grandparent. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to forgive myself for not getting to know “her” as a person as I age. It’s really that important. That generation is dying off and while a lot of “history books” are written about it, the feelings and personal experiences of the time are the important part. Something you can only get in face-face conversation.

For the love of god, if you can, DO IT.

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Wishing comfort and strength to ya, Bernse, but as you so aptly noted, you’ve already been blest with the best example for both.

All my grandparents died long ago, and my parents not that recently. It’s impossible to be ready for the death of loved ones, but acceptance is…possible. One thing losing all of them taught me is that they lived the best lives they could and, in their own ways, had good deaths as well. Their lives ended when they were ready for it, even though we weren’t.

Your oma is a strong, loving woman who made the most of her life. Her legacy isn’t in the details, but the substance: you. IMO this is where science melds with mysticism. Love and strength can neither be created nor destroyed, but they can change shape. Of course you wish you knew more of the details of how and why your oma became the woman she is. But the pressures and tests wouldn’t be the same anyway, and she’s already passed down the essentials.

She sounds like an exceptional lady. Here’s wishing comfort and peace to both of you.

Veb

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BTW, Racer, Simulpost. Thanks for you post. No dis-respect intended.

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I can’t, anymore. Mine are all dead. For me, it’s too late.

I record the memories and experiences of friends and strangers for posterity, now.

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Thinking of your oma, bernse. May her departure from this earth be relatively painless, and may she be surrounded by those who love her during her last hours.

Just out of curiosity - I gather from the OP that your grandparents are from Germany. Are oma and opa terms used in Germany as well? When reading the thread title, I immediately thought, “she must be Dutch”, as we use these terms as well.

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Yep.

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My grandmother came thisclose to dying of congestive heart failure back in August (she’s about your Oma’s age), and for some reason, we’ve gotten to keep her a little longer. I took an unplanned week’s vacation and went down to Florida to spend some time with her and my grandfather alone (we have a huge family and rarely get to spend time with them alone), and I’ll always be glad I did. I learned so much about both of them, and I’ll cherish those memories. I have plans to write a book based on their meeting during WWII in Italy (they were both in the Army and got married in Italy)–they told me the story, and it’s one of the most romantic stories I’ve ever heard.

I’ll be keeping your Oma in my thoughts and prayers. It sounds like she’s an amazing woman.

Ava

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My only surviving grandparent - my grandmother. In the last year she’s taken to writing her memoirs - I typed them up for her in the weeks before I left for the USA. I am so glad I did - I know her much better than I would have otherwise. I love her so much - and I dearly miss her already.

I have to call her. sigh :slight_smile:

I deeply regret not knowing my father’s father better. But I was too young and we were too far away. Sigh.

(and I so miss my dad…)

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I agree, bernse. My paternal grandmother just died Friday night.

She was a good woman. And her maiden name was German. :wink:

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I dont know why I am sharing this but I had the pleasure of living with my an oma, she was my friends mother, a displaced dutch lady living in California who shared many stories with me and she was so happy to do it. I hope that her daughters really appreciate her and listen but I am not sure how much they actually know of her history because they have their own families now. When they suggested that I go live with her, she could use the company, we got on very well. Incidently her father was the governor of Indonesia when it was a dutch colony, so she shared with me her albums and world travels. My grandparents died long before I was born so it was nice to share some time with someone elses oma, my oma, my friend. My prayers are with you bernse.

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My sincere sympathies, bernse.

All my grandparents are long gone now. I knew them, but didn’t know them. They were all immigrants too, all had stories. We’re left with lots of old photos of unknown people. No-one thought to write any info on the backs of them, and no-one thought to ask any questions while they were still living.

I sent away to get my paternal grandfather’s personnel record from his service in the army in WWI, where we found out more about his service than he ever told us in life. (He refused to talk about the war, anyhow.) It stated in those records that his battalion marched from somewhere around the Manitoulin Islands in Northern Ontario to Niagara Falls, where they shipped out. He was wounded by shrapnel during one of the skirmishes around the date of the battle of the Somme. We read the actual field medic’s report, fascinating and horrifying. Then, the hospital reports, telling of his horrible infection, repeated wound debridement and morphine dosages. He was 19 years old.

He died when I was only 10 or so. What I remember about him mostly was his limp, and his profound deafness, also due to the war. That I was afraid to talk to him because you had to yell at him, which I was too shy to do.

You are so right bernse. They’re irreplaceable treasures. :frowning:

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Sorry to hear about your oma, Bernse, and I promise, I’m sitting on my hands so’s I wont’ give you a hug.
but I am thinking you one

I’ve meant for years to talk to my aunt and my dad, about writing down their memories (my mom has passed on already). Thanks for reminding me of the fragility of life, and that I need to get with the program.

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My Oma and Opa are long gone, but I am grateful for my Onkel Bernd who talks to me about them. They were separated by the Berlin wall, and only got to know each other again in their later years.

Bernse Ich denk’ an Dich und Deine Oma!

Quasimodem

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Even though I lost both of my grandfathers at a young age(one I never even got to know),I’m lucky to still have both my grandmothers in good health at the age of 32.

Although I have to stay in the closet, I have a wonderful relationship with my maternal grandmother. I see her on a regular basis, and we talk about everything. Except the gay stuff.

My other grandmother is another story. After a 10 year period of not speaking to each other, I am trying to rebuild a relationship with her. It’s hard to do knowing the things that she has done to everyone in the family, including me. (Long drawn out story) However, I know that even in good health now, she may not be around much longer. You just never know.

Thanks for reminding me why I’m trying bernse.

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I can’t bernse, since I have no surviving grandparents. But I am forever gratful for the fact that with Pop-Pop (Oddly, he was my mothers father, my fathers father was Pe-Pe, his wife was Mei-Mei, and Mar-Mar was moms mother.) I had talked to him on the phone but a few days before, and talked to him several times a Month when I could. My greatest regret was that I never managed to start writing to Mei-Mei before she died, even though I had told her I would. :frowning:

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I’m incredibly lucky that my “Pap-paw” and “Mam-maw” are still healthy and with us, and that I live so close by. Thank you, ** bernse ** for such a loving tribute to your oma. I really enjoyed reading it, and I’m going to be extra-careful to cherish each and every moment with my grandparents.

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bernse,

First, my thoughts are with you and your Oma.

Second, I have been pushing my parents to write down their life stories. My Grams told me stories about their lives and what they experienced and I loved listening to those stories. Sadly those stories only exist in my memory now. I wish my Grams put those stories on paper. I want my parents to write down what they have gone through because the stories shine a light on a different time. At the same time it will be something I can pass on to my kids (When I have kids that is).

Slee