I have a window here in the “War Room” that is at grade. My apartment is half-underground, basically on sloping ground to the sliding glass door out back. My 16’ red canoe is around the corner, and I’m watching two young teenage kids pile rocks on it . . . for whatever reason 
I’m so tempted to go outside and scare the bajeezus out of 'em. Shall I wear a wifebeater, or throw on some green gear?
Tripler
I’m going to hell for just thinking this.
Green gear and a large knife. Or hedge trimmers. 
Just your underwear, and an almost-empty bottle of whisky. Never fails. (…what?..)
Tear a hole in one cheek of the drawers.
Go out naked apart from a black apron, army issue gasmask and a butchers knife
Two summers back someone stole the pile of rocks from underneath my red canoe.
Why? To match the other one?
A hockey goalie mask and some dungerees.
Or wearing twelve cats.
So, I watched the little f*ckers, waiting for a realistic time to actually scare them (i.e. they were actually damaging the boat). I would have went “Gunnery Sergeant Hartman” on their asses. . .
But, I procrastinated . . . and they swept off the rocks and left. I think they were taking pictures of something because it sounded like one of 'em was winding up a disposable camera.
No, I couldn’t get a better look because my blinds were closed, and moving them would have given away my position. But it would have been cool if a hand from my window reached out and grabbed one of 'em, eh?
Tripler
I am an evil, evil man.
I’m wondering why you’d put rocks on someone’s canoe. In all my years, I have had ideas to do some strange things, but that particular thought has never come up.
Some days you’re just in one of those “pilin’-rocks-on-someone-else’s-canoe” moods, you know?
I’ve rocked a canoe, and I’ve canoodled to rock, but I don’t think I’ve ever piled rocks on a canoe.
Yeah, I’d like to know where, they got the notion . . . Don’t rock the boat.
Tripler
Don’t rock the boat, baby.
As for outfit you should wear;
wife beater
bermuda shorts
black dress socks
sandals.
Hey you kids get out of my yard!
Rock on with your bad self!
You shoulda run out nekkid, screaming and weilding a golf club.
I’m always partial to the sail boat scene in ‘Tommy Boy’
Insert Monty Python reference here.
I would add camo paint to your face!! :eek:
Calvin & Hobbes cartoon:
Calvin is hammering nails into the coffee table. His mother screams, ‘CALIVIN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???’
There’s a frame of Calvin looking perplexed.
The last frame has Calvin asking, ‘Is that a trick question, or what?’
i second the ratty clothes and worn hockey mask, with a BIG honkin’ machete (or a chainsaw)