Bearing in mind that we should not rush to judgement in this unfortunate case, how evil do you have to be to get banned from Walmart?*
*“Objection, Your Honor! Strangling the witness!!”
**in case you were wondering, there are two degrees of strangulation in Kentucky. “Strangulation in the Second Degree (KRS 508.175) is a Class D Felony, carrying a potential penalty of 1 to 5 years in prison. Strangulation in the First Degree (KRS 508.170) is a Class C Felony, carrying a potential penalty of 5 to 10 years in prison.” It’s an entire legal specialty.
So that guy in the inset mugshot is the caliber of person Kentucky elects to represent the fine citizens therein. Or at least is the sort of person who thinks he has a shot at being so elected.
OK now my friend who went to U of K Law School is gonna have to explain to me slowly just how much stranglin’ is going on in the Bluegrass, that they get to statute not one but two distinct specific strangulation offences and some of his colleagues get to put a “Kentucky Strangulation Attorney” banner in their practice’s site.
One gauge would be the number of highway billboards advertising the specialty. I see plenty of ads for Personal Injury Lawyers and some for subspecialties like Big Truck Lawyers (whom I gather represent people who get smooshed by tractor-trailers), but so far no billboards promoting Kentucky Strangulation Attorneys. “Our fees won’t throttle your wallet.”
Funnin’ aside, it looks like Kentucky legislators put these laws on the books mostly to have a uniform way of addressing a common manifestation of domestic violence.
This morning I was driving into the office and listening to NPR, and they said something like, “Orville James Simpson, better known as OJ, has passed away…”
And I thought… Wait, isn’t his name Orenthal? Have I been wrong about it all these years?
After I got home I had to Google it. I was right. NPR made me doubt myself for hours.
An NP whose extramarital lover (a former patient) got pregnant prescribed himself abortion pills, then shoved them into her vagina. Then he and his wife tried to bribe her not to go to the police.
