Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1)

Busy?

“He busies himself with chores until the house is clean.”

[dhttps://peterpopoff.org/miraclewater/](Miracle Spring Water – Peter Popoff Ministries)

He promises that if you get the water, money will follow.

the stupid mfer will be anyone who falls for this. This is the asshole who Randy exposed as a fraud faith healer.

Really? I thought everyone was being perfectly sensible and ethical there. Impossible Foods is honestly marketing something specifically intended to taste like pork, and the people who are avoiding it recognise that it’s more emotional than logical, but that’s okay - it’s only avoiding one flavour of a consumer product after all

Man, Colorado, I may never forgive you.

Doesn’t she have people to help her with stuff? Geez Oh Pete.

Since she — or her chief of staff, who is at least in theory on the same page — hires them, they most likely “help” her by digging up (or inventing) shit like this. And/or “correcting” her spelling and grammar.

Aside from her ignorance of the English language…

Is she trying to tell us that Trump, who was president in 2020, was responsible for missing children?

…but then that enlies the insinuation that he’s that pizza store operator.

Trump tried to grope children before they were even conceived.

And that is around 56,000 fewer missing children than in 2019. So things are getting better. Should that be the media story, crazy lady?

In 2019, the total number of missing children entries into NCIC was 421,394.

(from Our Impact i.e. MissingKids.org, )

If you want someone gone, but you ain’t got the guts, why not trust a website called Rent-A-Hitman?

“This is kind of weird that your company is not on the deep or dark web,” she wrote in a message to a man she believed was the site’s chief consultant, Guido Fanelli. CNN obtained a copy of the message. “I prefer not going to jail,” she added. “Thanks for your time.”
That didn’t stop Wein from offering later to pay $5,000 to have her husband killed. "

That’s a mute point for all intensive purposes.

Well I think the word “enlies” is a perfectly cromulent candidate to embiggen the English language.

I thought the phrase was “for all intensive porpoises”

Perhaps she thought it was a nefarious* plot on the part of the ghost of a previous PRC Premier.

* Is there any other kind?

I thought the porpoises were immortal?

I’m so confused.

Nah, porpoises tend to be laid-back.

I love this response on Twitter to Boebert’s “365,348 children went missing in 2020”:

Not if they’re crossing staid lions.

It’s only a problem for them if they are carrying newly-hatched oceanic birds before consuming them.

this thread has taken an aukward tern