That’s a joke riiight? Oh, he was serious? That makes it more funny.
At least they keep all the live resin, shatter, rosin, wax, HTFSE and budder out of the h’ween candy.
Well, why wouldn’t he have a more impressive resume than President Obama? After all, if you’re going to falsify the thing, you might as well go big.
If there was more than 1 empty weed bag and loose gummy bears lying around, I’d say there’s probably a decent chance those bags hadn’t been empty for long. 
They may not have been totally lucid.
Hell, they might have thought the creatures on their doorstop were actual monsters and were afraid to anger them.
Some other candy in the South was poisoned with critical race theory! Beware!
Is the reddit world calling bullshit on it yet?
There’s been a very similar meme going around for weeks.
Also, “RASICISM”.
I just read that Individual-ONE is evading The Man by hiding his assets in a different corporation, cleverly named Trump Organization 2.
I mean, that is some apex stupid right there.
If he had any brains he’d hid 'em in a snickers bar.
And in case people think this is a joke, it’s not. Again, Trump is determined to put The Onion out of business.
Yeh, he could tuck his brains into a Snickers bar and have room left over for his heart, even his soul.
“haloween”?
Someone got the L out of there.
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Well, so much for that brilliant strategem…
Call me overly cynical, but I’ll applaud when we find out who the watchdog is and how much power they have to penalize him.
I’m hoping for a really boring bureaucrat with OCD who loves to fill out paperwork.
Report of “razor blades” in Halloween candy.
The sub-headline is golden.
“Police in Eugene, Oregon, have narrowed the search to the Friendly neighborhood.”