Even while wearing my dress shirt shopping ("Never dreamed one day I’d become a grumpy old man, but here I am, killing it!), and my perpetual grumpy look, I never hesitate to helo if it looks like someone needs it, or asks. Last trip to the pharmacy, I did 2 good deeds - ceded my seat in an overcrowded pharmacy to a woman obviously hurting from standing, then, on the walk back to the truck, helping a woman get her flip-flops on outside the hospital - she had just gotten released, and couldn’t bend over to get them on. Moral - never hesitate to ask, grumpy doesn’t always go all the way through 
I’m so clever and edgy, there’s no way this will affect my career at all!
We have a fair amount of black bears and moose that wander around our house. The bears break into cars, but haven’t caused damage. If your car door/s are open, be cautious. I’ll fire a large caliber gun into the ground before I approach. Startle it. Allows me to see if the car moves a little bit. That would tell me it’s still inside
They are quite smart, many cars have a door handle that you just pull on. They just swipe at it until it opens. I have the scratches on my car that show that. The advice is to NOT lock your car, they will just pull the handle off.
The moose just lick the road salt off the car. First time I saw that, I did not have my glasses on. I thought there was a horse in the driveway. They. Are. Big.
It’s possible to be a successful comedian while telling grossly offensive jokes, as Jimmy Carr has demonstrated. But you actually have to be a good comedian in the first place and understand where precisely the edge is and why.
Just being a dickhead trying to get a rise out of people is not the same thing at all. This isn’t a career ender but it’s going to make him unpopular for a while.
Dogs, collectively, are more dangerous, because there are a heck of a lot more of them in most neighborhoods. But if we’re comparing individual to individual, any given bear is more likely to fight you than any given dog (I say “fight”, not “attack”, because from a black bear’s perspective, it’s probably justified self-defense).
If it’s the size of a horse, it’s a big horse. Møøsen are, as you say, BIG.
And they seem so docile. In a town near me people have been fined for trying to approach one.
If something does not seem to be afraid of anything. There is a reason for that. They don’t need to be afraid.
And DO NOT try to carve your initials into one with an electric toothbrush.
Electric tøøthbrush wounds kan be pretty nasti
Yup.
I think I’ve told somewhere before here the story about the time I was walking down a farm lane and saw a skunk coming the other way.
Skunk came right on coming, down the middle of the road, not particularly fast, not appearing concerned in any way: just giving off, very clearly: “You will get out of my way. I am a skunk.”
Skunk was entirely correct. I got out of its way.
I was sitting on a fence once, watching a distant thunderstorm, when I heard some rustling in the grass below me. It was a skunk kind of stamping his front feet.
I later learned that that’s how they defend their territory. He was welcome to it.
Dead skunk in the middle of the road, stinkin’ to high heaven.
Yeah. That’s a warning signal. ‘Get away from me or I’m going to spray you!’
The ‘you will get out of my way’ technique, unfortunately, doesn’t always work on cars. Though any driver who’s ever hit a skunk – and many who haven’t – will do their best to swerve to avoid one. However bad that stretch of road smells afterwards: the car that hit it smells worse.
My sister was bitten by an electric tøøthbrush once.
I’m fine with that. On the other hand, though, I was just sitting there minding my own business; the skunk was being a jerk.
You were sitting on the fence. He was helping you choose sides.
You might have been doing so in the skunk’s front porch.
What would have worried me is that the skunk might have mistaken my getting down from the fence in order to obey instructions and go away for my getting down from the fence in order to get at the skunk (or, possibly, its kits, who may have been in the vicinity.) When I saw the skunk in the road, I had a clear escape path.
You all talk about having a diversity of opinions, but this board has always had a strong pro-skunk bias.
It was a simple rail fence. The skunk was in front of me, but I swung my legs over and climbed down the far side so as not to antagonize the little asshole.
about 4% of the skunk population are jerks …
gauss’s bell curve and all that
skunk: don’t ever call me little again
Well done.
We usually get moose chomping on our… lawn. You don’t really have lawn where I live though. We would be 30 feet away sitting on our lower deck, and they would just chomp away. I appreciate it really. Less stuff to weed eat.
They mow the ‘lawn’ pretty good. The suck at shoveling snow