On being nagged by software

(Disclaimer: I get the axiom of nothing really being for free - really, I do - this is just a rant. Allow me this…)

My ‘free’ antivirus software reminds me every fucking five minutes that my PC is not ‘really’ secure until I start paying $4 a month for ‘advanced email protection’. Even when I paid for antivirus it wasn’t much better - then I was being nagged for an upgrade. There is no way to switch this shit off.

On my shitty notebook I am being nagged by Microsoft to upgrade to Windows 10. I am fine with this - but as soon as I click OK it says that my shitty notebook isn’t good enough to have Windows 10 installed on it. Okay then, shut the fuck up about it. Every single time I boot up I am reminded to install shit that I am then told that I cannot install. Fuck you!

Every single thing requires an update all of the fucking time. As crucial as I am sure ‘Korean language updates’ and ‘Registry bug fixes for Unix Users’ are, I don’t think I need to be constantly harassed about them.

I am happy that I have transcription software installed on my PC - it is good, and does the job I want it to do. I don’t need a splash-screen informing me of that fact, however, every single fucking time my PC starts. While I sometimes need to transcribe stuff, I don’t need to be reminded of my computer’s capacity to do that every time I switch it on. Fuck off, transcription software, you are not as important as you think you are.

Once Microsoft decides that Windows needs an update, and my PC needs restarting, all of a sudden things stop working. It’s as if Windows is saying ‘Restart me now, or I will fuck your shit up…’. Fuck you, Windows! I will restart you when I am ready! Don’t hijack my ability to get things done in the mean-time!

Okay, I’m feeling better now…

Still? The “free upgrade” (double lie in two words) expired before August. It shouldn’t be nagging you.

(Of course, “shouldn’t” isn’t much of a defense against Microsoft’s legendary software quality, but this should be a solvable problem.)

If you were already being forced to restart for updates, going to Windows 10 may not have been a bad idea. Probably too late now, though, unless you want to pay. (I was really sure they’d keep the free upgrade longer.)

On your antivirus, I’d suggest looking for others. Most do nag occasionally, but not that often. Windows Security Essentials won’t nag, but it’s also the worst at virus protection.

Usually software has a way to turn off those logos. What transcription software do you use? We might be able to help.

Avira antivirus is pretty nagfree, just one small popup box every 24 hours, in the middle of the night. I switched from Avast because of their perpetual nagging.

I realize that this is a pipe dream, but instead of getting messages when you fire up your computer like:

“Hi! There a gazillion updates waiting to be installed on your machine, then it will need to be restarted, so only half an hour until you can do what you were intending in the first place! Ready to begin?”

…I would instead like to see the following:

“There are updates waiting to be installed. When your work is completed, just click the “install updates” icon on your taskbar, and they’ll be installed and your machine restarted without any effort on your part. OK?”

Yeah, I know, there’s a chance the stupid user won’t install the updates without being nagged and treated like a moron, but tough.