Someone once told me (or quoted someone else) that “when it comes to bravery and confidence, faking it is as good as having it.” Do you think that this is true? Anyone know the source of this quote?
I think that the saying goes that if you don’t have confidence, then fake it. I could see this as a one shot deal where something needs to be done; if you aren’t confident, then fake it and gain confidence from the experience.
Bravere, on the other hand (and IMHO), depends on actions. Rescuing the proverbial baby from a burning building doesn’t cut it in my book. You need to actually perform a the good or right task regardless of your personal fears.
A psychologist once gave me the same advice. It was in general terms about something or another and wasn’t specifically about confidence or bravery. I think it was even if you can’t convince yourself, you can always fake it. It’s surprisingly hard to do in some cases, I am superfluously honest and integral about myself and my flaws and this can cause some serious confidence problems. On the other hand, to admit that you are not confident is brave in itself. Facing your reality and personal truth is not cowardice, just don’t let it pull ya down. I got no problem with bravery in the classical sense, I respond autonomously when shit really goes down, or maybe I’m just stupid. But I lack confidence when given time.
You can fake confidence until someone calls you on it. You can’t fake bravery. Everyone knows the loud mouthed, braggart, self proclaimed macho baddass who folds when it all hits the fan. All show, no go. All brass, no ass.
If you can successfully fake bravery then you had it to begin with.
"Fake it until you can make it."
Probably the best boss I ever had said this to me. She meant we should project confidence even when we aren’t feeling confident and it will come. It works.
I agree with** smartini**. There have been several times in my life when I had serious doubts that I could even begin to accomplish something, however, I trudged ahead with as much confidence as I could appear to have–and guess what? I survived it and by the end, it didn’t seem as bad as I thought I would have been. It certainly made the next time seem not as ominous.
It also works in other areas as well. Need to appear happy? Smile, damn it. Need to appear outgoing? Get off your butt and move. I’ve also discovered that if I have no clue what to say and I just shut up and not say anything, then I’m percieved as “a good listener” or “knowledgeable”–guess that means that when I do say something I sound stupid. :smack:
I think it depends. I knew one guy who tried to fake confidence because he was convinced it would make him more attractive to women. It was a disaster, in that it was all too forced and he came off as cocky for no good reason.
Fake confidence often comes out as arrogance. Pretending to be brave is not really pretending, if you actually do the brave thing. When you do it, you are really brave. 