Out of this whole family he is the only one with allergies & they are life threatening?
I would ask for a DNA test.
Apparently this person was catered to exclusively as long as he was growing up and living at home.
So he moves over seas? Was he forced?
A saint will continue to sacrifice the rest of their lives because little brother is sick. Good for them. This special snowflake, not so much.
Down syndrome, wheel chair bound, etc., yes that is the correct human thing to do.
But :::::::
He is not like that. He chooses to come at the only time there is a family gathering?
Buy tickets in advance & come twice a year if it means so much.
How much trouble I would go to & how much it would cost are big things to those less fortunate.
If I had to deprive my own wife & children just so we could go, it would not happen. Some one come by & pick up the wife & kids, cool. I will stay home with my responsibilities & never see that sibling again.
Now, if I were in that bad a situation, why do I have dogs? Only way was I got them when I was not so hard up.
(for what ever reason, I can not get a swap to work where I am living )
To suggest I drop my responsibility to my animals just because I am not doing well, not happening. I took on that responsibility & I won’t blow it off. Others might dispose of their animals to be able to see this special snow flake who has never had to make a sacrifice. I won’t.
If I could afford to board them or make other arrangements, I would but after 15 years of doing this every Christmas, I would not keep it up.
The parents really messed up with the upbringing of their children IMO.
One brother seems to already be an asshat., so there is two that need an attitude adjustment, the asshat & the special snowflake. I would just distance myself from this dysfunctional bunch.
Had two sisters on Guam for a while. Their getting home or not had nothing to do with the strength of the family. Many years one or two or more did not get home for the holidays, other parents want some Christmas time also.
I am not a saint, apparently most in this thread are. Good on you.
I personally feel the whole dynamic of this family is pretty much dysfunctional. Many would think the same about ours.
This whole situation could not & would not ever happen in our family.
But that is just IMHO.
::: shrug ::::
