Jerry Falwell said gays and lesbians caused 9/11. Pastor John Hagee said homosexual sin was the reason Katrina hit New Orleans. Westboro Baptist Church says our acceptance of homosexuals is the reason for dead soldiers. Now we hear the world is supposed to end May 21. I believe the only thing that can save humanity is massive, massive amounts of heterosexual love making.
Sorry Gays, you’ll have to sit this one out.
Did you mean May 22, then? I’m totally confused by your post.
Sorry, all this hot, straight sex has made me forget the date. Of course I mean May 22. If there are any gay mods, or straight mods who are too unattractive to find someone to “save the world” with, please fix the title. Or not.
This straight mod’s gotcha covered, NC. Not too sure about that “unattractive” shit, though…
I thought May 22nd was a day too late? Shouldn’t the party be the 20th? Or start on the 19th to be sure.
I don’t even know why you have the time to post at this crucial hour. We will only know if our carnal efforts have been a fragrant offering to god if we wake up on May 22 still on earth. We will be exhausted and the musky smell is going to take a while to dissipate, but it is our only hope.
I’m going to be in Hollywood on the 21st. Even if the world in general is saved, Hollywood might still feel someone’s godly wrath. So try harder this week. Let’s make it a veritable tidal wave of lawfully married, heterosexual, lights out, man on top, get it over with quick, for procreation only s-x. It’s my only hope of survival.
Well, I’m out then. Won’t be lawfully married until late August. Assuming my wedding venue is no longer under water, as it currently happens to be. Can handle the other criteria, no prob…but it would still be sinful sexing…
May 22 is our anniversary, but we will have to get a start on Friday if we want to bring up the average.
Regards,
Shodan
That’s ridiculous. Jack Chick says it was because we’ve been insufficiently supportive of Israel, and Jack Chick knows everything.
If we gays are so powerful, to be the impetus for these ginormous events . . . I’d think fear alone would secure our equal rights. Perhaps we should start really throwing around our clout, and see what happens.
That’s brilliant. “Give us gay marriage or we’ll bring another hurricane down on you!”
Do it. Do it now. Then do it again. The time is nigh.
Our anniversary is today, so we’ll be doing our part.
Now, if we could all put a tie on the doorknob leading to the Earth, God will know to go away and come back later.
I’ll take volunteers