On the bright side, I could just be Crazy

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Okay, after this paragraph this is an exact copy of a note I left in a MUD, but it’s still all pretty much true. Add a few years, and here we go. The visions don’t happen as often, but on rare occasions…
Alright, thing is I’ve been having ‘visions.’ Little flashes of sights and feelings, only for an instant, but burning in like a single flash in a dark room, where you can see more by the fading traces, more accentuated by the absence of sight.

The first happened…well, some time ago. A few years at least. I kept going over it in my head. All I could see was a general shape, an impression. At first I even had a problem ascertaining gender, but I’ve descided that it was female. Pretty much human in outline, but with the distinguishing feature of those huge anime elf ears that stick out like two feet from the head. Her hair is…some odd color, for hair, blue, or orange, or something. Her lips are also colored strangely, but in a contrasting color to the hair. I can’t see anything about the rest of her face, and, as my mind insists on putting it, she won’t tell me anything about herself.

The second was a female demon. She was pearched on a rock, framed by a huge silver moon behind her. She had dark skin, like someone who’s a little over-enthusiastic about getting a tan. She had large wings, partly spread, and a long, thick tail. All I can remember about her face is that she had scary teeth, and she didn’t look like she liked me one bit. She wore cavewoman clothes, like Ayla of Chrono Trigger fame.

The third was a bat Furry. I had a ‘three-quarters’ view of him, looking from above and slightly to the side. He was albino white, with big pink ears. He wore small lensed spectacles, and looked fairly happy. Below his eyes, on the cheekbones were blue marks, a thin line on top, a shorter, wider line below it, and a triangle on bottom, all together making a triangle with gaps. I felt a sense of…well, the word that struck me was ‘sage.’ Like he was wise, and would give good advice.

After that was a Hawaiian woman, sort of a hula dancer, in my mind. I have no real knowledge of Hawaiian culture besides what I’ve seen on t.v., so, I’m not sure. She was wearing a grass skirt, and one of those flower necklaces (Lei?) She was in the middle of a dance pose. The vibe off her was Serenity. Like a guru, or monk, or whatever, in perfect control, perfect balance with nature, like she knew who she was.

That’s all of them…that I can remember. If anyone thinks they know anything about them, if you have psychological insight, or spiritual insight, or whatever, contact me. And if you’ve seen pics of them online or whatever, tell me, because for all I know it’s just random memorys popping into my head.
And that was the note, again, all the info still stands. Anyone wanting to psychoanalyse me or whatever, go right ahead. If one of these is you and you’ve been sending me some kinda psychic message for years, sorry for not getting back to ya sooner.

My AIM is Wolfie Rakur, you can e-mail me at chimericalwolf@gmail.com

2

I vote for batshit crazy.

No, no, I jest. When did you see these things? Were you drifting off to sleep or especially exhausted? I’m an extremely vivid dreamer and sometimes when I’m in that “lingering between sleep and awake” state, I’ll have experiences like those. I’ll dream for what seems to be just a second and pop awake, positive that I had “seen” what I had dreamed. And if you were on the edge of sleep or in bed, had you been playing video games or watching TV? I know after a few hours of playing Final Fantasy, I’ll have very intense dreams in anime-vision.

Another idea… had you been thinking of those images or something like them for a while? Say, just daydreaming about something that would fit the description of your “visions”? Sometimes if I think hard enough on something, I get so wrapped up in it that I’m almost out of reality for a few minutes.

3

I second what chatelaine said.

When have you had these visions? What kind of influences (lack of sleep, drugs, etc.) were you under?

4

Absolutely nothing. I’ve had them while wide awake, talking to a friend, I’ve had them in the middle of watching TV, and while I do watch more fantastic shows, none of them seem to have anything like these people. I had the Island Girl vision while getting ready to go home from school. I believe I had the demon one while laying in bed after reading a book, which I distinctly remember had nothing to do with anything like that. So they have happened in various states of awakeness and at various times, none of them under any sort of drug or alchohol influince, as I don’t drink or do drugs. The thing maybe I didn’t stress was the sense of reality I got from them, one markedly different from any other daydreams I’ve ever had.

Hope this clears things up, since I won’t be able to post for a few hours. Thanks for taking an interest.

5

Hrm. Do you suffer from deep depression? Bipolar disorder? Sleep deprivation? Do you spend an inordinate amount of time alone? Are you on any prescribed medication at all for anything? Do you have any rather serious health conditions?

Sorry for all the questions, by the way. I just think ruling things out is the best attack strategy for this one. FYI, the “female demon” one sounds semi-familiar to me… it makes me think of X-Men for some reason.

Hey, maybe we’ll narrow it down to batshit crazy! It’s not so bad once you get used to it. :wink:

6

You might consider seeing a neurologist. What you describe could possibly be a manifestation of a seizure disorder.

7

I vote for batshit crazy, too. :wink:

Don’t take it personally, though - I get hallucinations from time to time too. Just be thankful they’re clearly ‘wrong’ images for the situation and not plausibly inserting themselves.

And see a psychiatrist. :wink:

8

As long as you know these hallucinations are not real, I don’t think you could in any sense of the word be considered “crazy.” True insanity (and I’m not talking about depression or anxiety, though I don’t mean to dismiss those ailments either, I know them all too well) requires a total lack of self-awareness; you would be unable to separate these hallucinations from reality. The fact that you are able to come on a message board and talk objectively about this means you’re not insane, at least in the dictionary definition of the word.

Now, that doesn’t mean there couldn’t be some other kind of problem, whether some kind of mental problem or neurological problem or both. Are you sleep deprived at all? I find that sometimes when I go without sleep for too long I start seeing things out of the corner of my eye, though nothing as detailed as you describe. And also, most of what you describe seems like it could come from a video game. Often after I play a game for a long time or watch the same television show for hours on end the images will get baked into my memory, like how it’s sometimes hard to drive if you’ve been playing Crazy Taxi because it seems like the rules of physics no longer apply. If that may be the case, limit yourself to an hour or less of said game a day. Video games rot your brain anyway.

P.S. IANAPsychiatrist, see your doctor, etc and so forth

9

What’s wrong with being crazy? I enjoy the time I spend with the Twins and I listen to the Wizard of Id. I hear them and I talk to them but I realize that they are not real, so it doesn’t count. Right?

10

Guys, we could have a budding psychic on our hands! Move over, John Edwards!

(Seriously, follow everyone’s advice and hie thee to a psychiatrist. You’re probably not insane, but there’s something up.

And continuity eror, people with diagnosed mental disorders can be remarkably self-aware.)

11

So many posts, just for me. Glee!

Some more info on my life, I had a slight bout of depression between the time these happened and now, parents sent me to a councilor, saw him for a few weeks and it was…resolved. I suppose at the time it might have been in the beginning stages, but it wasn’t even termed actual depression, so there we go.

Other than that, I havn’t been diagnosed with any sort of bipolar disorder, or anything of the type. I got plenty of sleep when I was tired, spent time alone when I felt like it, spent time with friends often. No medication now or at the time, no health concerns more than that I could stand to loose a few pounds.

My family has no history of neurological problems, and beside the slight amount of depression above, I’ve shown no signs of any seisure disorders or anything like that.

I’m aware that I’m not batshit crazy, although I do think that perhaps the way I work is a few degrees off true north. Nothing about that that worrys me, takes all kinds, ne?

As to video games, I believe I was playing them less than other periods of my life. They used to take up a good portion of my time, since I had few friends, but since high school, I’ve become more socially adept, as they say.

I have no problems diferentiating these from reality, they don’t impair me in any way, besides some small distraction. With one of them I cut off midsentence, cocked my head to the side, thought for a moment, than continued the sentence, albeit a bit distractedly. I also don’t see them out of the corner of my eye, they seem to fill my entire vision, and they are centered, as if I’m looking at them. The feelings I spoke of weren’t so much what I thought of them later, they were a part of the vision, as real and important as the sight itself.

grinsAs to the psychic aspect, well, I read the Tarot, people I do it for tell me I’m uncannily accurate, and these are people I know and people I don’t, who just ask out of the blue (well, after I mention that I read on a MUD or in a Chatroom). So it could very well be some psychic thing, I’m just trying to leave all options open, trying to find the truth of the thing.

And as you all can see, I’m a rambler. Hopefully this will help someone glean the golden nugget of truth from all the dross. Thanks for reading, thanks for helping!

12

Just my two cents worth…

Me, I think you were ‘visited by a Muse’ so to speak.

These visions were the creative part of your brain saying “Hey boss, check it out, I got some character ideas! You should do something with these!”

As a part-time creative person, I find that often times my creations seem to take on a reality of their own. People and places and events and situations just ‘come to me out of the blue’ as it were.

I’ve also heard numerous writers and such talking about how their characters seem to have a life of their own, and they’re just writing down what happens ‘somewhere else’ inside their mind.

Now, granted, I’ve never had one of my characters appear before me in full color 3-d technovision, but maybe my Muse isn’t as powerful as yours.

Then again, you could just be Crazy.

13

You might look at your diet to.
Some foods effect people in strange ways.

14

Heh. Very interesting.

I’d still see a doctor for a professional opinion, but I doubt you need to worry.

Kind of cool. :slight_smile:

15

Hmm…it could be muse, but I doubt it. I am a roleplayer, and have many characters, and I do know they seem to take on a life of their own. I know that feeling of someone who’s someone else and me at the same time, but these struck me as very different. My own chars, while having as much detail as these, have nothing about them I don’t know about. These people do seem to have secrets. I don’t know the elf’s name, she won’t tell me. I have no idea why the demon doesn’t like me, and I don’t know what any of them really mean. On the other hand, my own Jacki is my ideal self. Blood is my need to protect others, and also my dislike of having to do things people don’t like for their good. Bazel is my chaotic, zany, “crazy” side paired with the bit of honor I have.

So if these are my characters (and I feel inside me that they are not me, not mine), than they are something entirely new and different from my well formed way of making characters.

16

While I hesitate to become one of the Dopers who endorses “paranormal” phenomena, I have come into contact with beings from, um, somewhere else. It’s a quite convincing thing in my experience, and I’m not saying I’m a believer, but I’m open to the concept that maybe there are other things out there that talk to us. Are you sure they’re not something real and not just a figment of your fevered imaginings?

17

Wow.

Twenty years ago, being crazy meant that you were special and unique.
These days, you have to be crazy just to fit in.

Sigh, we’re all nuts in the loony bin.
:wink: