On things going from bad to worse

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

[recap]
Washte, my wife, scraped the money together to fly to the States and see her dad who was dying of lung cancer. While there, she found out she was pregnant. Three days before she wass due to fly home, she had a miscarriage. She was carrying twins - One died, the other was doing fine.

She held it together because of the surviving baby and her sick dad.

Two weeks later, on September 12, her dad died - Wonderful fella, we are both missing him so much.

She held it together because of the baby.

Last week, our remaining baby died and Washte had to have a D&C. (In an ironic twist, after spending 12 hours at the hospital with her, I arrived home and found the postman had delivered a $1500 hospital bill for the treatment in the States. That’s what I call timing.)

There’s nothing to keep her holding it together this time and the pain has hit really hard. She has to use sleeping tablets because she has nightmares from seeing the scan of our dead baby and the tech explaining that it had no heartbeat.
[/recap]

I won’t say what she’s been through the last few days (TMI only goes so far), but it’s not been nice. Our doctor tried to get her to go to hospital two days ago but, scared of going back to the same ward she lost the baby in and that they might give her an hysterectomy, she refused. He gave her antibiotics and told her in no uncertain terms that if she didn’t improve in 36 hours, she was going.

So now, Washte is back in hospital. Seems that they didn’t remove all the “Conception material” and she may have an infection. I’ve just got back home after spending 8 hours with her. She’s hooked up to an IV of antibiotics and is due for another D&C tomorrow morning. She’s scared witless.

After this post, I’m gonna step away from the keyboard and lurk for a week or so because I know I’m just one post away from total meltdown. As someone* from the SDMB and I discussed through email: Jerks and trolls aside, the posters here are like a family - I don’t want to be the pissed-up cousin at the family reunion. You all deserve more than that.

Thanks to everyone who sent kind thoughts during our difficult times, I hope that one day I’m able to repay your kindness.

Kushti bok hai sastimos - Good luck and health,

Kal

*Special thanks go to you for being so understanding this last week.

2

Oh, Kal, that’s terrible news. My thoughts and prayers and all those sorts of things for Washte and for you. And lots of big cups of lovely tea.

3

Man, it takes a lot to choke me up but I’m getting teary-eyed. My most sincere condolances, Kal. I am so so very sorry and will be thinking about you and Washte both.

4

Damn, I’m so sorry. I will be thinking about the both of you and wishing you the best.

5

Kal, I am so sorry that you’re going through this. Your wife is lucky to have you there; be good to her, and to yourself, and believe in the good times down the road a ways. Here’s hoping they come for you soon.

6

hugs Kal tightly I’m so sorry. I hope things get better for you.

7

Please let her know I responded to her email and I’m thinking of her. All the best to both of you.

8

Best wishes to both of you. Tell your wife that everything she posted to my thread in the Pit two days ago means that much more to me, knowing that in the midst of her own troubles she took the time to offer me comfort. She is truly a remarkable woman.

9

Oh man, Kal, there’s not much I can say in situations like this, but only let you and Washte know that you’ve got another person sending good vibes your way.

Best of all good things to both of you.

10

I am really, really sorry, Kal. Please give Washte a hug from me, and convey my deepest sympathies.

11

Another person here sending good vibes.
I’m very sorry.

12

Kal, mate. Best wishes.

13

I’m so very sorry for both of you in your loss. I wish you the strength to get thru it together. You’re in my thoughts.

14

I’m sorry to hear that. Best wishes to you both.

15

Kal and Washte I am so sorry for your loss. The both of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Please give Washte my wishes for a speedy recovery and to echo FairyChatMom I wish you both strength to get through this difficult time.

16

A miscarriage is bad enough, but the thought of a D&C is simply awful.

Best wishes from my family.

17

Okay, I said I was taking a break for a week or two but…

Washte was due for surgery yesterday (Thursday) morning. However, the head consultant of the department went to see her and strongly advised her not to. According to him, the scan she had on Wednesday showed that she had passed the nasty stuff* and the stuff left was most likely blood. Adding in the risk of damaging the uterus and infection made him suggest a course of strong antibiotics. Washte agreed with him and he told her she could go home - The time was 8:45am.

I got to the hospital at 10:00am. Then we waited…

And waited…

At 6:00pm, another consultant** turned up. He had a different opinion to the head-honcho and was pushing for surgery. I talked him into letting my wife have a scan this morning and, if what was there still looked nasty to him, we’d (maybe) go ahead with a D&C.

I got to bring Washte home last night. She was feeling pukey from her antibiotics but a couple of cups of tea, a home cooked meal and a fuzzy chest to rest her head on as she fell asleep did her the world of good.

We got to the hospital this morning, had a scan and made it back to her room before the doctors had done their rounds. Ten minutes after getting there the consultant who was pushing for the D&C came to see my wife, looked at the new scan and said that was fine.

So, Washte’s back home - Snoozing with her head on my chest as I type this on my laptop. She’s feeling better, still woozy from the antibiotics but doing pretty good.

In six weeks we have an appointment to see why we have problems carrying a baby to full-term. With luck this problem can be sorted out quite easily and this last week won’t have had an effect on her fertility. I have my fingers crossed anyway: I do not want to see my wife go through the emotional and, especially in this last case, physical pain of a seventh miscarriage.

Thank you for your kind words and support, it means a lot.

Kal

*Without going into too much detail: Labour pains for 4 days - Womb lining - Blood clots - Size of golf balls. 'Nuff said.

**This consultant was in charge of the D&C last week. Washte and I couldn’t help but think that the reason he was pushing for a D&C was mainly so he could see how badly the previous one had been screwed up.

18

I am so sorry for all the pain you both are going through, and I continue to hold you in my prayers and in my heart. I pray that the Doctors will identify the problem and that the solution will be easy and successful.

Hugs and positive healing thoughts coming your way as well…

Much Love,

Cheri

19

I knew I should’ve opened this thread earlier. You certainly need the Doper Vibes.

My thoughts are with you and your wife. I hope she returns to health quickly.