Prepackaged shredded parmesan - that powdery shit
how to change my break pads - spending $100 on twenty minutes worth of work
Tivo - cable
Stole my answer.
CDs -> vinyl
DVDs -> VHS
marijuana -> Prozac
Splenda -> Sugar
home-cooked hamburger … McDonalds
broadband … dial-up
QEW->soap and water (for washing the car)
coarse ground pepper->the useless powdered stuff
Good quality tea, versus the cheap stuff. I still can’t find any of the really good stuff, this side of the Pond, but there’s no reason to settle for Lipton.
the desert…mountains
whitewater boating…lake canoeing
Moab…cities
women that are actually nice to me…the Ex
Prepackaged shredded Cheese --> Blocks of cheese that rot before I finish them.
Sanity --> Insanity
Self-Esteem --> The ex-wife, people who weren’t good to/for me
Decent inexpensive shirts --> t-shirts as daily wear
Dark Chocolate --> That brown vaguely peanut tasting stuff that passes for chocolate.
fresh pasta … dried pasta
red tea … green tea
King salmon … Atlantic salmon
Dungeness crab … Alaskan king crab
Vermont cheddar … New York cheddar
road bikes … clunky hybrids
grass-fed beef purchased directly from the rancher … store-bought beef
Once I discovered boxer-briefs I knew I’d never go back to boxers.
Getting your jewels squeezed between your thigh and the leg of your jeans while squatting down for something is an experience I won’t repeat now that I have better support.
Release —> Regular tin foil
divacup…tampons
The Colbert Report…Leno or Letterman
Middle-aged, home owner, parental poverty – Young, single, carefree, expendable income.
I am curious. Is tivo useful without cable?
Real parmesan fresh off the block -> that pre packed shredded shit 
High-resolution digital cameras … film
Seriously, my Nikon D40, with lens, at under $900 is relatively cheaper than my first Nikon F2 (I paid $300 just for the body back in the early 1970s!). And with the digital camera, I pop out a tiny card, slip it into my laptop computer, edit the photos, send 'em to a professional one-hour photo-mat and pick up gorgeous photos of my granddaughter (are there any other kind?) within hours. Oh, yeah, I’m all about digital!