Well, if it’s a real-world burger with real-world limitations, that’s an easy choice. As I said in the thread that inspired this one: Whataburger is open 24/7, and is consistently delicious. If I had to pick it only one way, a double double with bacon on a wheat bun.
If it’s a magic burger that we can get for just wishing. I want a bacon cheeseburger from Cool Beans, a bar that used to exist in Denton, TX. If we get to wish the whole meal into existence, I’d like a pre-1990 Shiner Bock to drink. mmmmmmmmmmmmm
If for some reason the Triplet in Spencer, Idaho was unavailable, my second choice would be the cheeseburger at the Long Branch Saloon in Anchorage, AK. The bun is merely a cloud to transport the beefy goodness to your mouth.
A Hackney’s (Chicagoland restaurant - well known for their burgers and onion ring loaves) Patty Melt, medium rare. With the onion ring loaf. If you’re going to Hacckney’s, you gotta get the oniony loafage.
That or a Big Mac (no lettuce, extra cheese and sauce.)
There’s a local place named Corey’s Catsup and Mustard that does excellent pub-style burgers. I’d go with one of those, medium rare, with cheddar, bacon, and barbecue sauce. Cajun style fries and whatever IPA is on tap finishes it off. Bonus points if you can get me in there on a Friday or Saturday with less than an hour wait, a feat that is near impossible in Real Life.
The bison burger at Ted’s (same as above - which is to say George’s Cadillac, in Ted-speak) comes in a close second.
I hate burgers. Two exceptions: patty melt, a wide yet THIN burger with a ton of sauteed
onions and swiss or provolone cheese, on marble rye, grilled in a smidge of butter. (Isn’t that what they call a panini now?) Or Burger King Junior Whopper. Not the full size, the Junior. They’ve always been my favorite fast food, if nothing better is available.
Nope, I’m talking about the one in San Jose, though I recently found out it was a chain so there might have been one in Chicago too. The one in SJ is alive and well and still serving tasty burgers to hungry hipsters.
I’ll pretend that the world is in the throes of near-Armageddon and there’s only one restaurant left standing, thus making it impossible for me to continue my vegetarian lifestyle.
In that case, the last restaurant on Terra had better be JJ’s Sunken Sub in Tallahassee, FL so I can get a Double Chuckaburger with cheese. They’re the best damn burgers the world has ever known.
It’s not available where I live, but if it was then a Crown Burger (or one of its manyclones in Utah) would be the only burger I’d ever need. It’s piled high with pastrami. So flavorful you can hear your arteries hardening with every bite.
I’m gonna have to go with a local Chicago favorite and say the Big Mickey (or the Big Baby if you prefer) - simple double cheeseburger with grilled onions. I think the price has skyrocketed to $1.19
The burger at Holman and Finch in Atlanta. They only serve 24 of them at 10pm because it ties up their whole griddle. I thought it was a lame gimmick, and then I ate one.
