This is true but isn’t a 5 year shave off the age a bit much? I would let it slide if he lowered his age to 38 or 39 to avoid the whole 40-is-a-whole-new-decade bit. Anyway, it’s a possibility that he’s trying to widen his appeal but still…
It’s the only thing he updated on his profile. I think it’s kind of a stretch to assume he didn’t do it on purpose. Personally, any time I’ve had to update my profile on any site, it would probably be my email address, password, etc. You know, things that can change. Birthday? That’s pretty much a constant.
I’ll keep in mind the passive aggressive “it’s-the-site’s-fault” angle but I am a web developer by trade… I don’t know if I can say this with a straight face about a very established website. (Half the day, my answer to my non-techie friends about their endless computer problems is “PEBKAC.”)
Yes! I am worth the effort
I’m still a bit torn. Seems the opinions are pretty evenly split between “red-flag-ditcheroo” and “ask nicely and observe.”
It probably isn’t a red flag for anything more serious than insecurity and a mid-life crisis, but it’s kind of a loser move.
I’m guessing that most everybody probably lies their ass off on those online hookup sites, though. Who really loves walking in the rain? Nobody, that’s who.
Hey now, I love the rain! As long as there isn’t any thunder or lightning I will gladly walk, run, play, and have sex in the rain. I am a bit of an exhibitionist though so maybe I feel differently about that kind of thing than most women.
In fact, I decided not to date one man I met online because he told me (after many emails and phone calls) he wouldn’t have sex in the rain because he could get struck by lightning and have to go to the hospital with a hard-on. Seriously.
Really? Girls are totally dumb - throw rocks at them. I’m 34 - in my head I have 24 as the lower limit and 44 as the upper limit, but that’s pretty arbitrary. I don’t actually use dating sites but when people are fixing me up that’s what I tell them. However, I can’t imgine rejecting someone because there age was a bit out of the “range” or caring enough about that stuff to change my age on a dating site. However, I don’t go to dating sites so perhaps that’s normal? I know I’ve heard about people putting up a fake picture - how the hell is THAT supposed to play out?
Men are worse when it comes to the age thing. They’ll go from 18 to no more than two years older. I had a fling with a woman three years older than me and she was weirded out over me being “that much younger.”
A buddy of mine has just started on-line dating. He’s 46 and was grumping about a 51 year old answering his ad. I not so gently reminded him about the 38 year old that he went out with a few days earlier.
To quote the British chick on Studio 60: “Tom, we haven’t even had a date yet. You’re supposed to wait until we start dating to start acting like a jerk.”
Hehe - that’s hilarious. I currently have a 22 year old REALLY turning on the charm in an effort to woo me. I mean, he is persistant as all get out. I told him we could take my dog for a walk together and he acted like I said I would give him a hummer.
Ugh. I got called that the other day. That’s the EXACT reason I have run the other way from younger (and I mean 25-35ish) men. All my friends tell me I’m nuts, but I just can’t get away from the gigolo/old dame thing.
Most of the women that I have been meeting have been under 31. The youngest was 22. This explains why I couldn’t meet women in their 20’s when I was in my 20’s to save my life. They were all with men who were my age now. If I lied about my age to make myself ten years younger, I wouldn’t get any dates!
I met my current boyfriend on an online dating/sex site. He said he was 32 when we met, and then a few months later I found out he was 40. I was upset at the time, but it’s true- even though he looked (to me, anyway) like he was young, had I seen his email with “40” at the top, I would have freaked out and never responded at all. Funny part was that I put a ceiling of 30 in my ad and when I saw his letter/picture, I thought, “eh, two years doesn’t make a difference…”
Well, if you do end up giving him a hummer, make him pick up the poop. From the dog, I mean.
As for the OP, I wouldn’t freak out about it, although I’d probably tell him you saw his new profile and make fun of him a little for lying about his age. Seriously, if people describing themselves in dishonestly favorable terms bothers you, I’d stay away from online dating altogether.
You had a legitimate reason for wanting a guy within a certain age range. By lying about his age, he cheated his way past your filter. Additionally, he failed to come clean on his own in the 20 emails you’ve exchanged.
I’d call him on it, and push him toward the “thanks, but no thanks” pile.
Glad you added that second sentence, there, because for a split-second I was wondering what sort of new gross kinkiness was happening in the world of hummers. Gotta keep up-to-date on developments in the field!
And if it starts involving poop, I’ll need a new field…
Somebody may have said this as I’ve only skimmed the replies, but ask about it gently. Don’t be confrontational or adversarial, just be inquisitive. Say something like “I’m pretty sure I remember your age being 40 a while back but now your profile shows 35 - do you mind if I ask how much younger you’re going to get :)”
Back when I was in my early 30’s I had an online profile and I hiked up my age to 40 in order to attract more mature and stable people. Of course it backfired because I connected with a 30 year old and we got along so well that I had to come clean about my age and lucky for me it didn’t matter to them. Of course in hindsight I should have been honest to begin with, but on the other hand I’m not a serial killer either (trust me).
When I was online dating, I assumed everyone was being truthful because I was. I didn’t see any point in lying when people would meet me and know I had lied instantly (or worse, after dating for a while and getting to like each other). Lying about his age would be an instant deal-breaker for me. I prefer my men honest.
My husband’s experience with online dating (we met at loveataol.com) was that women would lie about their age and how many kids they had, then tell him the truth during their meet-and-greet. He got tired of going out to meet these women and finding out after making that effort that they had little deal-breakers at home.
So, in summary, people who lie in online ads are losers, and you don’t want to waste your time on a loser.
