I disagree. People who think the information in online profiles is 100% accurate are deluded and naïve, and probably shouldn’t be wandering around the internet (aka the land of make-believe) in search of a soul mate.
yep. tell the truth, expect the truth in return. to settle for less demeans you.
Alas…
Another Doper linked me to an article about online dating (no registration), mainly concerning this very subject of lying.
I think lying about whetether or not you have kids is in an entire different category then adding or substracting five years of your age.
People actually lie about that? Jayzuz…I hope their kids never find out about it!
Of course you’re free to disagree. I’m pretty happy with the soulmate I found from online dating. He didn’t lie, I didn’t lie, and we match each other pretty darned well. The way I looked at it was, I want someone to match ME, not some made-up version of me, and I guess he saw it the same way.
Kalhoun, I asked him about that last night. Turns out he didn’t run into women lying about their age so much, just about the kids. I guess they figured once he met them and fell in love with their fantastic personalities, the fact that they had kids they lied about wouldn’t be important.
This doesn’t really invalidate Patty’s point. The fact that you found an honest person from online dating does not mean it’s advisable to assume that everyone is. Anyone who gets involved in an exercise like this would still be well-advised to to take online profiles with shovelfuls of salt.
Good gawd. That’s just awful!
Well, all I have to offer is an anecdote. My in-laws have been married for 55 years; my FIL is four years younger than my MIL. But when they first met, he was sure she wouldn’t go out with someone that much younger than him, so he lied about his age by two years; he didn’t come clean until after they were engaged.
Of course, looking at their wedding photo, I’m amazed she believed he was older than he really was, because at the tim they got married, he was 26, and looked about 15. :eek:
But there ya go.
I’m pretty firmly in the “ask in a lighthearted way, and see what the reaction is” camp.
It’s not OK to lie. Naive of me to say so? Maybe, but that’s fine with me. It’s especially not OK to lie to someone with whom you might be starting a relationship. I did the online dating thing, met my fiance that way, in fact. When I was actively looking around online, I was a tough audience with guys I met on there. Ask questions, stay rational and emotionally cool until you’ve established a real life, personal relationship with the person so that if you get answers you can’t deal with, you’re not too invested to walk away. People will say the most ridiculous crap in their profiles and in IM. Whatever it takes to get attention or get laid, right? So don’t fall for it.
Men who lie about their ages online to attract younger women reek of scumbag to me. What else will he lie about? I’d call him on it and be prepared to cut it off right there. He’s probably trying to meet and hook up with younger women. You can do better.
PEBKAC?
Well, if it’s the only thing he updated, sounds like a bit of a fib to me. Somehow I didn’t read your OP clearly enough, because I got the impression he’d just updated the profile.
At any rate, regardless of his guilt, the “it’s the site’s fault” allows you a non-accusatory way to find out. I’m reading an interesting book called something like “Never be lied to again”. It has clues on how to get the truth out of people. And that’s one of them, ask them in a way that allows them to save face and makes their previous lie sort of “okay”. (well those are only two tricks out of an entire book but you get the idea). That is, if you’re really interested. I’m a “curiosity killed the cat” kinda girl, so even if I had little or no interest in the guy, I’d still wanna know!
PEBKAC = Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair
I will bring this lying thing up… on the first IRL date and after a few beers. Of course, I won’t use the word “lie” or any negative word so as to not sound accusatory.