I just realized I can’t type worth a d*mn in the dark… :smack:
C’mon, Vunderbob. You can keep your cornmeal in the freezer in between batches of cornbread–that will keep the weevils out and keep it fresh.
The lesson here isn’t to use Jiffy: the lesson is to make cornbread more often.
Mmmm, cornbread…
As to being ashamed of Southernosity, I think there are a couple of things going on. First, I think a lot of non-Southerners have such a negative impression of the South that they think they would be ashamed of being Southern.
But there’s also, frankly, some stuff about the South that’s worth being, if not ashamed of, at least not proud of either. My ancestors did, after all, take the wrong side during the Late Unpleasantness, and the South has been quite the little hotbed of racism. And the friendliness toward strangers can turn into xenophobia at the drop of a hat, especially if the strangers don’t look or talk like the locals.
Finally, there are some Southerners with an annoying tendency to assume that all Southerners oughtta be just alike: if you don’t go to church or to basketball games (I’m in NC, remember :D) or eat boiled peanuts, that’s just being ashamed of your heritage. Which isn’t, of course, true: us nonsports-fans atheists with functional taste buds just don’t like such things.
Again, though, I put maple syrup on my corn bread, so maybe I’m not the best one to talk.
Daniel
That’ll work. All I need now to have cornbread running out of my ass is to go off my Atkins diet, a freezer, and a permanent place to live. 
I’m finding all this very interesting and occasionally heartwarming. I think I need to have a T-shirt printed up that says “Northerner by birth, southerner by choice.” I really like it here.
Some of us are pretty emphatic about flour having no place in a cornbread recipe, never mind sugar (which certainly doesn’t).
Blasphemy :eek:
As for the cornbread - Where I grew up in East Tennessee, sugar never touched the white cornbread but did sometimes find it’s way into the yellow.
Once again I will unlimber this classic story:
A woman has moved to the South from New Jersey, and is trying to acclimate her family to the cuisine. During her first trip to the grocery store, she is flabbergasted by the number and variety of brands of corn meal. She turns to another shopper and says “Which meal should I use to make corn bread?”
The other shopper looks at her a moment, shakes her head, and says, “It don’t matter, honey. With that accent, you ain’t gonna make no cornbread fit to eat anyway.”
A few other Southernisms …
Brides-to-be in the South know not to schedule their wedding on fall Saturdays, because of conflicts with college football. Actually, a true Southern woman will already have those dates blocked out on her calendar, because she’ll be at the game.
Southerners will help anyone in need, regardless of race, religion, creed, ethnicity or belief. Unless you’re wearing the logo of a rival college team. There are some things that just can’t be overlooked in polite society.
Never get into a brawl with a Southern man. He fights mean and dirty and will do anything to win. That’s not the reason to avoid the fight, though – you definitely don’t want his girlfriend or wife against you.
A Southerner can say anything mean, cruel, or downright nasty about another person, as long as it’s followed by “Bless his/her heart.”
The only proper way to serve okra is fried. Same with chicken. Actually, “fried” is the default way to prepare almost any food.
Green beans must be cooked in a pan on the stove, liberally salted, with a little oil added to tenderize them. A slab of onion and/or bacon can be added for flavor.
Sister Schubert will go to Heaven for inventing those pre-made blueberry rolls in a pan. Just heat and eat.
Sister Schubert will go to Hell for inventing cornbread in a pan. Just heat and throw away.
Every meal is either extremely simple or extremely complicated. It either takes five minutes to prepare, or five hours. There is no in-between.
Ogre is correct about the original menu for Dreamland Barbecue. In college, I went there with some friends, one of whom asked for a barbecue sandwich. She was served three ribs nestled between two pieces of white bread.
If anyone could answer this question one of you could:
Are Southern grits sweet or savory? I love garlic-cheese grits and prefer my breakfast grits with butter, salt, and pepper; my husband won’t touch them unless they have a little pool of honey/Karo syrup on the top. Who is eating them Southern style?
Good points LHD.
I want to join the list of people reading this thread who want a tasty piece of cornbread right now, dangit. And some black eyed peas. Mmm, black eyed peas. (Is this just a Texas thing, or do y’all folk east of here eat a lot of those too?) And some sweet onions to boot.
Mmm… sweet onions. (drool)
Does he put cheddar cheese on his pancakes? What the hell is wrong with him?
Daniel
Black eye peas? Oh, yes’m! Cooked in fatback until it’s all mushy with a thick broth. Mmm…
Might as well add a mess of fried squash, too, while I’m at it.
Well, I’m joining the discussion a little late (and although I was born in TN and since 1995 have lived in Chattanooga, Murfreesboro, Nashville, Jackson (MS), Atlanta and Knoxville…I want to move back to New England, just to bring a little charm to them cold winters. And so they can hear “y’all” used correctly, teach them what grits are, how to make scratch biscuits and so on. Plus, I fell in love with Maine when I went to college tehre. )
Not all over the place - one of my friends is from Memphis, and she says “fittinda”, but here in East TN, it’s definitely “fixin’ to”.
Not that any of us say it that often (for me, it was a conscious effort to remove it from my speech).
TheRealStrawberry, when grits are part of breakfast, they’re sweet (at least mine are). When served with other meals, they’re savory. Add some cheese, a dash of hot sauce…mmmm. Excellent.
My wife, sadly, hates black-eyed peas, so I rarely have them, no matter how delicious they are. 
Daniel
HA! I knew I was right! He also wants sugar in his cornbread, but I can’t make it that way.
I think his mom (who grew up in Alabama) had to change her recipe for a NJ palate when she was up there for a couple of years and never switched back to the originals. So he grew up thinking he was eating southern food. I have to give her credit though; she did teach me how to make collard greens, black-eyed peas, and smothered pork chops…
I’ll defend the possession of Bisquick by saying it’s the best pancake mix around. Although I’m now Southern by choice, I still have my midwest/Scandinavian heritage to consider, and pancakes are as important to Swedes as cornbread is to y’all (note the proper spelling and use) 
Please tell me you were unaware of this aberration when you married her … that it only manifested itself later. If you knew beforehand, you’re either a better man than I, or … well, no need to get insulting. Life’s already dealt you a serious blow.
Not a bit: just think how marvelous she must be in other ways :).
Daniel
Mmmm… black-eyed peas, okra and drop biscuits. Now that’s a breakfast.